Disclaimers: If I owned them we would see some nekkie pilots!
Rating: PG-13
Pairings: None yet. Maybe 2+1
Warnings: Sad, Duocentric introspective piece. Shounen ai hints.
Tweaked timeline.
Status: Unbetaed

Chasing Rainbows

The night sky had always fascinated Duo. On L2 you couldn't really
see it. Day and night were the same a blanket of smog and chemicals
covered the planet. There was no true sky just and endless mist of
grayish brown that was almost thick enough to feel. It made you feel
trapped, in a dirty cage of concrete and steel.
***
He had found a book once as a child. It was his first treasure. The
words had been smudged and pictures barely discernible. The cover
along with the first three chapters had been sacrificed to light
fires on the cold nights. It was the year after Solo had taught him
to read and the description of the night sky had fascinated him.
The words had been so beautiful flowing like running water against
your skin. Words that spoke of a richness and beauty he couldn't
begin to imagine, and fell from your lips with a whispered lushness.
He had know immediately that they weren't speaking of the sky he went
to sleep too each night.
No one in their right mind would call that seething mess black
velvet. There were no lights in it far less the twinkling of
diamonds. It sparked his curiosity, so many new words. He wanted to
know what velvet looked like that Solo whispered it in a tone of
wonder. Were diamonds more bright then the halogen street lamps? Were
those so-called stars and diamonds one and the same? It was the first
time he wondered if there was beauty out there.
It was the first time he realized that there may be something beyond
the dark alleys that filled his life, that there may be a way out of
this carefully crafted illusion of a cage. It filled him with the
beginnings of a desire for more, more then a warm place and a full
belly. The desire to leave, to live beyond this and to see beyond the
murky layer that hid the sky from his eyes.
The book was sacrificed to the fire on a chilly night when one of the
younger kids started coughing. The wet hacking echoed in the night as
more and more children succumbed.
He never forgot the words or the feeling they inspired. He barely had
time to think about them, he barely had time to survive.
***
Solo was the reason he became obsessed with rainbows in all their
forms.
The day Solo had died he had cried for the last time. Solo had heard
and with a voice full of kindness he had only bestowed upon Duo he
had taken a harsh breath and whispered.
"Hey Kid." He had gained Duo's attention by using his old nickname.
By that time Solo's eyes had been sealed shut with crusted blood but
he still turned to ward the hitched breathing of the last of his crew.
"Do you remember Big Sis?"
"Wh…who?" His voice was husky holding too much pain for a child that
young.
"I guess you were too young. She was the one who started the gang.
She used to protect us."
"Did she have long red hair?"
"Yes that was Sybil."
"I thought that was mom."
"No kid she was Big Sis. She took care of us and bargained with her
body for our safety. She did everything to save us."
"Where is she now?"
"One night some off-worlders picked her up. She didn't return the
next morning. The day after she was barely able to crawl back. The
bastards didn't even pay her. I was there when she died barely
fourteen covered in dried cum and blood. She was all we had. I
promised it wouldn't happen to any more of us. I was standing on the
corner the next night in her place. I never regretted doing it
because I was able to protect you all just a little longer."
"Don't talk like that Solo, like it's all over."
"It is over. I know I'm dieing kid, no need to sugarcoat it. Everyone
else is gone. I heard about a place up north. They take in kids, feed
um and stuff."
"So?"
"The cycle ends with me kid. There's nothing left for you here kid.
There's no reason you should be on the corner. I want you to promise
me you won't end up doing that. I didn't whore myself all these years
to watch it happen to my kid brother."
"But…"
"Even if you don't see me I will always be watching over you. Why do
you think I taught you to read kid? There's always been something
special about you. We all dream of leaving this hellhole but I think
you have a chance to be more then a gutter whore. I know about your
dreams, you talk in your sleep. I want you to make it out there, too
see the kind of life I never will."
"Please Solo… Don't leave me… Alone."
"Aw kid you won't be alone. I told you I would always be watching
over you."
"How?"
"You probably don't remember the story Sybil used to tell us before
sleep. She said that down on earth there are a million starts at
night that glitter in the darkness like the rats eyes in the sewers.
Each one is the eyes of someone who loves us watching over us from
beyond. Just because their body is gone doesn't mean their spirit
leaves us alone."
"So your gonna become a star?"
"Yeah kid, up there no one can hurt me any more."
"I want to become a star too…"
"There's something even better then being a star."
"What?"
"Well Sybil also said that on earth there are bridges of light called
rainbows. They're made by our guardian spirits to link the two worlds
together and send a gift to those left behind. At the end of each
rainbow is the gift of perfect love. One day I'll send a rainbow for
you so you better be watching kid." With a soft sigh he breathed his
last but on his cracked lips was a gentle smile.
***
When he lived in Maxwell orphanage he had more time to remember there
was more to living then survival. Occasionally at night he was far
enough from the neon glare of the city to see a wavery outline that
may have been earth in the sky. He was beginning to see the beauty
that existed in all life.
He found a flower once, peaking through the cracks in the stained
pavement. It had blown him away that even in a soulless place like L2
such beauty existed. This hadn't been some rare breed carefully
tended by hands that never worked just to eat. This bloom hadn't been
cultivated with love and kindness. It had been dropped by accident in
soil too weak to support it. It had bloomed despite the infrequent
watering and lack of nutrients. No one had noticed or cared walking
past what they saw as a weed. It reminded him of his life.
Everyone had seen a dandelion where he saw a flower, like how
everyone had seen a grimy brat with bad skin and stringy hair where
Sister Helen had seen a child with a broken heart. It was a special
ability that she had taught him, a gift. To see beauty in everything
no matter how little.
After the bombings he had been lost for so long. Completely alone,
but then he had seen a puddle. Disgusting stagnant water coated in
slime but he had also seen the beauty in it. Noticing the motor oil
coating the puddle like a spilled rainbow. It was a revelation. On L2
where there was no sun he had been sent a rainbow. And he remembered
he had to live, not just for himself but all those who had died. All
those he remembered and kept in his heart. He would live and find
them a real rainbow.
***
The first time he had truly seen the night sky came after he was
Death Scythe's pilot. The cargo ship he had been in had landed on
earth. Some where in the south where the evening air had been warm
and humid. The sky had stolen his breath away; it had been everything
he had dreamed of and more. Endless darkness taunting him with the
secrets it held. Seeing the stars shine he had finally understood why
people held diamonds in such esteem. To think a piece of coal had the
ability to hide such beauty within. The brilliance of a fallen star
in the pal of your hand.
It was his secret vice this obsession in finding beauty everywhere.
He could never accept the obvious examples either it had to be
special. The quiet beauty often overlooked in favor of flamboyance.
He preferred the quiet solitude of December to the blooming heat of
June. He may not have seemed like it though. He always played the
clown, talking endlessly. It wasn't because he loved the sound of his
own voice. In all honesty he believed it wasn't deep enough to be
truly beautiful. He just hated silence in a room full of people. The
way the emptiness echoed like the hush at a funeral pall. It was the
same silence that filled the orphanage on the day he had left on that
last job.
And the child in him was scared of it. Scared that if he let it fill
a room full of his friends… his family that the same thing would
happen. He would leave on a mission and return to death. So he
talked. His voice may not have been beautiful but there was beauty in
the way it filled a room.
***
In the years that passed he had been searching everywhere for the
rainbow that was sent just for him. He wasn't worried about the
wonders man made just those that nature offered. He just wasn't sure
how or where to find it. He wasn't even consciously aware of the fact
he chased rainbows everywhere. He saw them blooming like flowers of
light over the Niagara falls, he saw them shimmer above the Amazon,
grace the pacific sunrise, dance over the northern skies as Aurora
borealis, settle over the misty Scottish moors at twilight and once
he had seen it in the Sahara when the skies had blessed the heated
sands over an uncharted oasis. Still none where as beautiful as the
one he had seen at 15. He saw a living rainbow.
It wasn't by accident that he had only wounded Heero. The first time
he had seen the brown haired boy something had clicked in him. The
same something that had jerked his hand causing his killing shot to
turn into a flesh wound. He hadn't been sure why at first it had been
that same something that caused him to return to that hospital and
break the boy out.
He hadn't understood till that moment they had been alone in the
hanger. The first time he had looked into Heero's eyes. It was almost
the same feeling he had when he had first seen the night sky. His
search was over he had found the rainbow sent especially for him. For
in those Prussian depths he had seen it. He still saw it in those
quiet moments when he and Heero were alone and it was more then
enough to steal his breath it was enough to steal his heart.
The End
Please let me know what you think of this one, Onegai?

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