The Paddle Team Vs. Green Thumb Duo Part 25
By Jane
A Round Robin of the CS Insanity Central ML
Seymour stood before his full length mirror, admiring his brand new evening gown. It was a lovely dress, one that he had recently shoplifted from tbe nearby Little Shop of Horrors, whose lyrical ensembles were staples for any rising drag queen. As he bent to examine one very large and glittery stiletto, he thought briefly of his old life, the one where he had been Seymour Tuberov. He had been a scientist, and a great lover of plants. "Feed me Seymour!" they would cry in delight and desparation, even as he released his seed into the knot of a beautiful oak.
Well, he thought to himself, there's no use dwelling on the past. After all, he was Seymour Panties now, famous in the world of debauchery and hedonism. He squinted at his scarred face in the mirror, and fluffed his lank, greasy hair. The night was calling to him- he had to fly! He snatched his purse from the vanity table beside his bed, and hobbled to the door. "I'm coming, darlings!" he yelled, and promptly tripped over the doormat.
****
Noin sat on the toilet, flipping through Cosmopolitan. "Get in the Best Shape of Your Life!" the neon headline on the cover screamed. She located the page and began to read. "You've tried everything: pills, machines, weight loss tapes, but nothing seems to work! Plain old diet and excersise is too complicated; who wants to haul themselves into a gym when there are such interesting programs on tv? What can a girl do to keep the pounds off? Well, Dr. Aneurysm of The Weight-Loss Center of New York just may have the answer. Cosmopolitan reporter Stephanie Pustule went to visit the good Doctor at her 6 million dollar home in the Hamptons to find out her weight loss secret. "You want to know my big weight loss secret, huh?" Dr. Aneurysm asked. "Well, it's simple, really. All you have to do is cut out every part of your diet except for the potato." Potato, Noin thought. Potato...wait, Zechs! He must have been waiting for her forever by now! She pulled up her pants and washed her hands with great haste, then ran quickly out of the bathroom door, a piece of toilet paper stuck to her boot.