My Death
1x2-2x1/Shonen Ai; Angst; PG
by Moon Faery
crystalmilleniu@bolt.com
http://www.faerysgarden.asiansquare.com

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Well, I was in a REALLY sad, sappy mood, so I came up with this lil' ditty. As said above, this is a Duo and Heero fic, with Shonen Ai. For those of you who don't know what that is, it means 'boy love', or homosexuality. If you don't want to read that, I warned you. Please don't flame me for it.

RELENA LOVERS: Please don't get upset about this one. I USUALLY see Relena and Heero together in my mind, but Duo and Heero are just such a cute couple too! I'm torn!
Correction: I've changed my mind; Heero and Duo ROCK! Relena can go sleep with Dorothy. :-P 05.21.03

*THOUGHTS...*

I don't own Gundam Wing.
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Duo watched the moonrise with dead violet eyes. The sickly light of the nearly new moon shone down on his face, catching the tears that trickled down from Duo's eyes like diamonds to offset the amethyst. The only other light in the room came from a tiny lamp lit in the hallway beyond the opened door. Smiling bitterly, the pilot of Deathscythe leaned forward and pulled the black curtains together, blocking out the night sky that troubled him so.

The war had ended three months ago, and no one had seen the pilot of Wing since. Wufei had settled down in a job with the Preventers. Trowa had returned to the circus, and Quatre had gone back to his family. Duo had simply rented a small apartment on L2, using the money he had gotten for his effort in the war to pay his bills until he found a job. The group still saw eachother occasionally, but everyone knew that that wouldn't last long. They'd grow apart and forget each other. It was inevitable.

But one pilot had just vanished. Not even Relena knew what had happened to the perfect soldier, Heero Yuy. More than one person had speculated that he had finally self-destructed. He is, after all, a fighter for peace. And nothing can destroy peace faster than the remains of war. Unneeded, why would he want to live without a purpose? Heero had been suicidal for years, this gave him the opportunity to end it. He's been counted as dead a week ago, officially. Even to the small grave, just three blocks away from the Royal Palace of Sanc.

But Duo knew better, now. But he had the scars to prove that there was a time when he didn't. Now Duo knew that Heero hadn't committed suicide. He didn't know how he knew, but he did. If anyone would know, Duo would. And everything in him screamed that Heero was alive, that he would come back to him. That, somehow, it would all be okay.

Dead purple eyes closed, and Duo leaned his forhead against the wall, more tears slipping down his guant cheeks. His braid, once beautiful and tangle-free, was knotted and un-washed. Duo's shirt hung off of his already-skinny frame, and deep circles darkened the delicate flesh under his eyes. The aura of life that had surrounded him was gone, replaced with the bone-numbing ache of loss. Anyone looking in those once sparkling eyes wouldn not deny this boy when he claimed to be Shinigami. Only Death itself could be in that condition and live.

Duo's low, dry chuckle echoed coldly in the chill room. Only one word broke the silence. That word was what kept Duo up at nights, weeping silently into his cold pillows.

"Why?" *Why did you leave me? Why couldn't you stay? Why did you lie to me like that? You said you LOVED me, damnit!* More cold tears slipped down, falling on the fresh, pink scars that marred the perfect wrists, evidence that he had attempted to follow his koi. *And I love you.*

"Why what?" a familiar, echoing voice asked, the deep timbre shivering down into Duo's bones in a way he hadn't felt in three months. He realized then just how much he had missed it.

"Heero?" he asked, not even turning around. His mind had done this to him before. "Why did you leave me?"

Two warm, strong arms wrapped around Duo. "I didn't want to, but I had something to take care of," Heero whispered to his koi, kissing a frail shoulder.

"Why didn't you take me with you?" Duo persisted, leaning back into the comforting embrace.

"I'm sorry. I had to," Heero burried his face into Duo's neck, happy to just be with his love. "I'm so sorry."

Duo's arms crossed in front of himself, holding Heero to him as best he could without turning around. "Dear God, please don't let this be a dream," Duo prayed quietly, his lips barely moving.

Heero kissed his shoulder again, turning Duo around to embrace him. "This isn't a dream. It's very real," he murmered back, lips barely brushing Duo's. Finally, amythist eyes, reddened by prolonged crying, opened to meet echoing cobalt eyes.

"I was afraid you were gone," Duo whispered, letting himelf sink into the warmth that only Heero had, breathing in his distinctive scent of gun oil and fresh pine, with citris-like tinges. That, more than anything, convinced him that this was real. "I though I had lost you."

"Never," Heero vowed, a rare smile crossing his face. He brushed a hair from Duo's eyes. "I'll never leave you, Duo."

Duo sighed, letting his eyes slide shut again. "I love you Heero, my Perfect Soldier."

"I love you Duo, my Death."
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