Gundam Experiments
Set I: Brush, or Bed Head?
Rated H
By Moon Faery
Contact: crystalmilleniu@bolt.com
Moon Faery's Garden
(http://www.faerysgarden.asiansquare.com)
Disclaimers: All characters of Gundam Wing are copyright Sotsu/Sunrise.
I don't own them, I'm just borrowing them. If you're lucky, I'll get
them back to you in one piece. ^^V
Warnings: Hints at Shonen Ai for the sake of humor, soft core
violence, soft core language, slight nudity but not descriptive. (Like
on TV, when you see a person's shoulders and head.)
AN: Hello. ::bows:: I am Moon Faery. As some of you know, several
weeks ago; I became fascinated with the characters of the universe
popularly known as "Gundam Wing". Ahem. Due to the complexity of these
characters, it was impossible for me to truly understand them from mere
observation.
Learning this, I set out to discover more of these fascinating
pilots by experimentation, observation and intense study. However,
because of the intense training, mental and physical, that they were
forced through, I was unable to truly examine their psyche. I am
certain that I will, one day, be able to delve deep into their...
::blush:: Ahem. MINDS, and let free their... ::blushes more:: INNER
CHILDREN. With that in mind, please examine the fruits of my
evaluations.
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In this experiment, we shall discover how each Gundam person
reacts to an ordinary hairbrush, placed by a bathroom sink early in the
morning. Each set of notes shall begin from the moment the subject
awakens to the time the brush is set down and forgotten. All times are
giving in Military Time, Hr:Mn:Sc
************************************
Subject 1: Duo Maxwell, Pilot of Deathscythe Hell
Time period is Thursday, November 12, AC 198.
Subject awoke at approximately 08:15:26. Went back to sleep. Re-
awoke at 10:27:57. Once again, went back to sleep. Woke up for the
final time at 14:29:34 PM. Spent time from 14:30:03 to 14:34:46 staring
at the ceiling and yawning. Attempted to sleep once more, but was
prevented from doing so by his roommate; one Heero Yuy. Or, to be more
precise, by his roommate's shoe being thrown directly at his head. The
subject saved himself only by rolling out of the bed and running to the
bathroom. (In an interesting side note, the previously mentioned shoe
exploded on impact.)
Once in the bathroom; the Subject splashed his face with cold
water and brushed his teeth. After which, he almost immediately noticed
the hairbrush. Looking around suspiciously, he poked it numerous times;
apparently convincing himself that it wasn't explosive.
After his examination, the Subject tucked the hairbrush into the
waistband of his boxers, exited the bathroom, and used the next three
hours (from 14:49:31 to 17:16:09) eating.
Once the subject had eaten any edible item in the building, he
sat on the bed and untied his braid. Proceeded to spend the next ten
hours (from 17:19:12 to 03:33:02) brushing his hair, strand by strand.
(AN: ^^0) While grooming his hair, the Subject also produced a pair of
micro-scissors and trimmed every split end he found. Strangely enough,
the Subject was crying every time he had to cut off an end.
(The reader might like to note that at EXACTLY 06:06:06, the
Subject awoke, grew fangs and proceeded to feed off of his bed mates
blood. However, when the sun rose five minutes later, he hissed and
passed out. It is assumed that he has no recollection of the events.)
************************************
Subject 2: Heero Yuy, Pilot of Wing Zero
Time period is Friday, November 13, AC 198.
Subject awoke at precisely 06:15:00, and muttered about sleeping
in too often after the war. (AN: oo;;) Moved to the bathroom, where he
dressed, brushed his teeth and swallowed two small nutrition pills.
(Which solves the mystery of why Subject 2 is never seen eating.) also
bandaged the bite mars on his neck, which were apparently a daily
matter, as no comment was made about them.
Upon discovery of the hair brush, he immediately dismantled, then
reassembled it; presumably for the same reason Subject 1 poked it.
While reattaching the rather long handle to the brush, Subject
apparently had an unholy idea. Subject immediately moved out of the
bathroom and woke up his partner. The activity that followed caused
several hidden watchers to be removed lest they drown in their own
drool, after having lost consciousness due to nosebleeds. From the
noises, it is assumed that the hairbrush handle was thoroughly
'enjoyed' by both Subject 1 and 2. Subject 2's hair was never actually
brushed.
************************************
Subject 3: Chang Wufei, Pilot of Shenlong
Time period is Friday, November 13, AC 198.
Subject awoke at dawn, 06:12:13. Meditated for one hour. Moved to
the bathroom, where he promptly joined our researchers in oblivion due
to an extensive nosebleed caused by the noises coming from the shared
room of Subjects 1 and 2; which was three stories down and several
rooms over.
Upon regaining consciousness, Subject 3 cleaned the bathroom,
brushed his teeth, and spent several minutes before the mirror
practicing his 'Justice' look (AN: ::twitch::) while covering premature
gray hairs with black shoe polish. The gray was supposedly caused by
the sounds of Subjects 1 and 2's 'usual morning.'
When the Subject discovered the hairbrush, Subject ran it through
his hair five times and proceeded to use it as a microphone. After
singing through 'Simply Irresistible', 'You make me feel like a
Natural... WUUUUUU-MAAAAAAAAAAN!!!' and 'Man, I Feel Like a Wu-man!',
the watchers had to be replaced and taken for hearing aids. He then
used three brand new bottles of gel, six cans of hairspray and a bottle
of mousse to cement his hair back into its usual ponytail.
Subject then picked up the hairbrush and practiced his katana
moves and 'Justice' look in the mirror in time to the screams coming
from Subjects 1 and 2. When a particularly loud, 'DU-DU-
DUOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!' shattered the mirror, Subject began to hit himself
over the head until unconsciousness was achieved. The hairbrush was
forgotten.
************************************
Subject 4: Trowa Barton, Pilot of Heavyarms
Subject 5: Quatre Raberba Winner, Pilot of Sandrock
Time period is Friday, November 13, AC 198.
Subject 4 woke up at 06:45:32 and moved directly to the bathroom,
causing much drooling from the watchers at his state of undress. His
hair was, strangely, laying in sausage ringlets such as the ones found
commonly on a porcelain doll. Upon finding the brush, he performed a
fantastic flip, and hung himself upside down from the shower rod.
Subject preceded to comb, mousse, gel, cement (literally), spray and
blowtorch his bangs into their usual style, firmly eradicating all
traces of his natural curls.
Subject 5, one Quatre Raberba Winner, was woken up by his lover's
blowtorch, and preceded into the bathroom. Once there, Subject 5 took
on an expression known only as the 'Zero System Look' and muttered
something about 'Mr. Hairbrush wants to rule the world.' He roughly
wrestled the hairbrush away from Subject 4, who flipped off of his
shower rod and wrapped his legs around Subject 5's neck, squeezing to
cut off circulation. From there it deteriorated into a 'free for all',
with both subjects landing in the bathtub. Subject 4 turned on the hot
water, which seemed to bring Subject 5 back to reality. From there,
more wrestling ensued, with many screams of, 'QU-ATREEEEEEEEE!!!!!' and
'OH, TROWAAAAAA!!!!' So it can only be assumed that the Subjects
settled their dispute. Subject 5 never used the hairbrush.
************************************
Thank you for reading this document. I hope it helped you to
understand more of those delightful boys which inhabit the next
dimension over. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go have a
nosebleed.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Trowa: ... ///- I liked it.
Ryo-oki: />O.@<\ Rrroww.
Goku: Why weren't we in it?
Crystal: Well... ::scratches her head:: I'll think about doing another one for you and Veggi.
Vegeta: Damed woman, what were you thinking of when you wrote this?
Crystal: Um... ::thinks:: Reeses Peanut Butter Cups?
Trowa, Goku, Veggi, Ryo-oki: ///-; o_o; -_-; />@_@<\;
Not in frames? Click here to get in them.
It's for your own good. ^.~ Trust me. Hontou.