The Ancient Mystery of asdf

What is asdf? It is the rare spacial event in which, while mashing the keypad in frustration, the keys a-s-d-f are pressed first, and most often. Only a certain few people have actually touched the inner meaning of asdf, the one true sanctum. In one such example, "asdf" converted into morse code is .- ... -.. ..-. - if you take the .'s and convert them to 0's and take the -'s and convert them to 1's, you get the binary number 010001000010, which is 1090 in decimal. The year 1090 just happens to be 2 years after Christodoulos of Patmos, supported by Emperor Alexius I Komnenos, founded the monastery of Saint John the Theologian on Patmos. Only 4 years after the year 1090, the First Crusade captured Jerusalem, and the Latin Kingdom of Jerusalem began. Because the crusade on Jerusalem happened only a short time after the crucial year 1090, we can convert the letters asdf into the ancient hebrew alphabet; Aleph Vov Daled Samech. We can take the letters, and convert them into one word - Alephvovdaledsamech; which converted phonteically sounds like "A lef volv da leads a mech". We can then read these sounds into words, and we get "A left Volvo does lead a mech". Going further, we get "A left Volvo does lead the mechanics," or, "A left Volvo does lead the mechanical industry". We can now understand that a "left Volvo", obviously is a car made in a country where you drive on the left side of the road, and will one day lead the automotive industry. Ford Motors Inc. must have decoded the ancient asdf scriptures before I did, because they recently purchased Volvo. Ford is obviously trying to change the ancient Hebrew prophecy, and claim the auto industry for themselves! You must rally the people, to the top of Mt. Sinai! We shall stop them yet! The Armageddon has begun!

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