by Iliyana
Disclaimer: Gundam Wing and all its paraphernalia belong to Sotsu, Sunrise, Bandai and respective others. Adia is copyright Sarah McLachlan.
<<...>> For the other side of the vidphone
Duo sighed irritably and crossed his arms on the table, resting his head on top of them. He was, in one word, miserable. Make that downright depressed. He shouldn't have let him go; he shouldn't have said what he had and he'd made the biggest mistake of his life when he thought he could handle things on his own, without him. He hadn't realized how wrong he'd been until he came home that first night, to an empty apartment, too tired to make dinner and too self-righteous to call his lover and apologize.
They'd been happy. Madly in love, even if once out of their apartment they acted as if there was no such thing as a relationship between them. Their friends hadn't known, their neighbours thought they had only shared the rent, not their entire lives. And they had been sharing everything. They'd been continuously entangled. No matter what they were doing, they'd always known exactly when the other needed to be comforted, softly kissing the pain away. They'd been perfect for each other, all of it ruined now after a stupid remark from Duo, all of it gone.
Adia, I do believe I failed you,
Adia, I know I've let you down,
don't you know I tried so hard,
to love you in my way,
it's easy let it go...
He sighed again and idly played with the end of his braid, wondering why he'd been as stupid as to not tell his lover that he wanted them to make their relationship public. Now it was gone and with it everything he held close. No more late nights cuddling in front of the tv, no more feeding each other with their fingers, resulting in their sweaty bodies wrapping around each other on the kitchen floor. No longer could he wake up first and watch his lover sleep on peacefully, his lashes fluttering occasionally in a dream and never again could he sneak into the other's shower and reduce him to a puddle of sensation in his hands before gently making love to him.
Duo felt lonely, desperate for any kind of human contact, but he was sure that if he went to look for it, he'd end up disappointed anyway. Because he knew where his love was.with his closest friend, undoubtedly cursing their entire affair and he couldn't do anything about it.
Adia, I'm empty since you left me,
trying to find a way to carry on,
I search myself and everyone,
to see where we went wrong.
If he called, maybe he could still apologize.maybe he could tell him he was sorry.if he called right now.
He got up from his seat and quickly made his way to the vidphone, rubbing at the dried tear tracks on his cheeks and tucking the few loose strands of hair behind his ears in an effort to make himself presentable. He took a deep breath as he dialled and willed his body to appear relaxed, not as desperate as he felt.
<< Chang >> "Hi Wufei, Quatre wouldn't happen to be there, would he?" The Chinese Preventer frowned at the proper use of his name, but shook his head in denial. << I haven't seen him, Duo; you might want to try the others. >> "I will, thanks anyway."
He ended the connection with slumped shoulders and called the next number.
<< Une speaking, oh hi Duo. >> the look on her face went from carefully neutral to downright sad. "Hi, Lady. I suppose you haven't seen Quatre either?" She looked at something, or someone, outside of the screen and nodded. << I haven't, but Trowa wants to speak to you. >>
Cause there's no one left to finger,
there's no one here to blame,
there's no one left to talk to, honey,
and there ain't no one to buy our innocence.
'Cause we are born innocent,
believe me Adia, we are still innocent,
it's easy, we all falter, but does it matter?
Duo nodded at the screen "Trowa, long time no see, huh?" << Indeed. Look Duo, about Quatre, he told me everything. >> The braided young man swallowed with difficulty and raked a hand through his drooping bangs. "I see." He felt a little sick; they'd kept it a secret because they hadn't known how their friends would react and didn't want to lose them.
<< Duo, I'm not going to judge you, but I'm disappointed about what you did to Quatre. You hurt him, Duo, badly. He's at Heero's place. I expect you to fix this as soon as possible. >> He managed a small smile. "Thanks Trowa, say bye to Une-babe for me." << I will, work things out quickly Duo. >> They disconnected their call and he took a deep breath before trying to connect with Heero's place, praying they hadn't blocked his number for the time being.
Adia I thought we could make it,
but I know I can't change the way you feel,
I leave you with your misery,
a friend who won't betray,
I pull you from your tower,
I take away your pain,
and show you all the beauty you possess,
if you'd only let yourself believe,
That we are born innocent,
believe me Adia, we are still innocent,
it's easy, we all falter, does it matter?
<< Yuy here. Quatre doesn't want to speak with you Duo. >> He supposed it was only to be expected after his behaviour, but he still buried his face in his hands and sobbed once, his resolve to not let anyone see his desperation breaking down in his immense frustration. But then Heero came to his rescue. << I can pass him a message if you want. >> Duo looked up and blinked the few tears that had gathered away. "Thanks Heero, means a lot to me. Could you tell him this?" He scraped his throat and wrung his hands. "Tell him.I love him and that I miss him. Tell Quatre I want to apologize, in person. That I hope he'll forgive me, if not now, then at least eventually. Could you tell him I never stopped loving him."
He raised his head and looked straight into Heero's eyes, half a continent away, as a lone tear made its way down his cheek. "Tell him I need him by my side, that living alone is killing me. This isn't life, this is hell on earth." He focused his gaze back on the floor, more tears dripping onto the carpet.
'Cause we are born innocent,
Believe me Adia, we are still innocent,
it's easy, we all falter ... but does it matter?
Believe me Adia we are still innocent,
'Cause we are born innocent,
Believe me Adia we are still innocent,
A much softer voice answered his short monologue. << I miss you too, Duo. >> The brunette looked back at the screen, his eyes met sad aquamarine and on both sides of the screen tears hit the floor. << Miss you so much. >> They put their hands on the screen in a mimic of touching and both young men smiled sadly.
It's easy, we all falter ... but does it matter?
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