“Heero up?” Wufei asked a startled Sally as he walked into the den.
End of Chapter 5
(1) Ani DiFranco, “Talk to Me Now”
“Yeah. I decided to leave him and Duo to get reacquainted,” she answered. She was currently putting her clothes away in the closet. Wufei nodded as he continued into the kitchen.
“Wait, Sally,” he called.
“Yeah, what is it?”
“Why are you unpacking your clothes?”
“Cause I’m…” Sally was interrupted by a ground shaking boom.
“What the,” Wufei yelled as Duo and Heero ran into the room.
“Heero! Get back in bed, ahh,” Sally yelled as the ground shook again and she fell onto Wufei.
“I guess Quatre and Trowa are back,” Duo said as he pushed his lover back towards their bedroom.
“Oh, sorry Wufei,” Sally apologized as she got off the red-faced Chinese pilot.
“Onna,” he mumbled as he got up and went outside, yelling over his shoulder, “I’ll see what their injuries are!”
“I’ll go help Wufei,” Duo called as he too ran out the door. Heero and Sally shared a look.
“If you wanna help, get my bag out of your room and put it in Quatre’s room.”
Heero obeyed her commands as they heard yelling outside.
Quatre slid in and out of consciousness, but was jerked awake when his gundam slammed into the ground. He could hear voices outside and soon someone was banging on the hatch. He wanted to stay, to simply fall back on his seat and sleep, but he knew that Trowa was behind him and had to be taken care of, so he hit the button and let his hand slide down the panel. Duo’s face appeared in front of him.
“Holy-“ Duo yelled. “What happened? Quatre? Trowa?!!” Duo reached in. “Quatre, can you get out?”
“Leave me, Duo.” Quatre mumbled. “Take Trowa. Leave me.”
“Woah there, buddy, come on now, we’ve got to get both of you out.” Duo said, smiling a little. He reached in and took Quatre out, handing him to Wufei, who was standing behind him. Then Duo reached in and gingerly took out Trowa. On the ground he looked towards Wufei.
“Injuries?” he asked.
“Bullet hole in his shoulder, pretty deep cut in his calf, loads of blood loss… you?”
“I can’t even tell… um, I’m thinking broken and bruised ribs, a broken arm, possibly a fractured knee, other stuff too. Sally ready?”
“Yeah.” Wufei said. “I can take the mobile suits to the hanger after they’re settled.” Duo nodded and followed Wufei inside.
Quatre slitted his eyes open. He was moving.
“We won’t leave you, Quatre.” He said quietly. “You’ll be fine.”
“No…” but Quatre had slipped back into a blissfully dark state.
Sally couldn’t believe the injuries Quatre and Trowa had sustained. Sure she’d been a surgeon for the federation and was working as a doctor for the guerrillas now bit to come back from simple infiltrations looking like that.
“Do you guys always get this messed up?” Sally asked Wufei and Heero.
“Sometimes we’re worse,” Wufei crossly said as he handed her a bandage.
“What kind of people are y’all? You always come back unconscious and crash your gundams, which can’t help you out either, and then you have Heero set your bones and we all know how gentle he is, no offense,” Sally ranted, pausing to breathe.
“Hn,” Heero replied as he set Trowa’s arm with a loud crack.
“Onna, you sound like Maxwell,” Wufei snickered.
“Shut up Chang,” she shouted back.
“That does too,” Heero added, setting Trowa’s knee with another crack.
“Idiots, all of you, I’m going to check up on Quatre. And Heero, go to bed!” Sally yelled with a mother like tone as she gracefully left the room to Wufei’s applause.
Sally mumbled under her breath about justice freaks as she walked into Quatre’s room. She was greeted by a view of Duo wrapping Quatre’s leg.
“So, how is he?” She asked the 02 pilot.
“Ask him yourself. Hey Kat, Sally’s here,” Duo said, gently shaking Quatre.
“Huh, Sal-Sally,” Quatre weakly breathed.
“Yeah Quatre, it’s me. You alright?” She asked the pale pilot. Her only response was a groan as Duo began wrapping his shoulder.
“Just was I thought,” She said with a slight laugh.
“Eh, Quatre’s stronger than he looks,” Duo put in as Sally began checking the Arabian over.
“Tro- Trowa?” Quatre asked in a whisper.
“Shh, he’s fine, don’t worry yourself. You just need to get better. Oh, did I ever tell you about this one time?” Duo said reassuringly.
Sally tuned the braided boy out as he began yet another pointless story. She knew Quatre was worse than he looked but he seemed stable for the time being.
Trowa felt himself drifting back into consciousness and he heard quiet conversation near him.
“The mobile suits had little damage. I think most of it was probably from landing.”
“How did they get this bad?”
“I don’t- hey, is he moving?”
Trowa was moving his lips, trying to speak. He felt someone touching his arm. He opened his eyes slightly. It was Wufei and Heero, both looking down at him.
“Qua-Quatre?” he whispered, his eyes squinting shut from the effort. Heero and Wufei looked at each other, then back down at Trowa.
“He’s fine, Trowa. He lost a lot of blood but he’ll be fine.” He heard Wufei say. Trowa let himself slip back into relaxation, appearing to be asleep. They hadn’t understood him. Quatre had seemed so sad when they left the base. It was as if he didn’t care about himself at all, or he was so angry at himself that he couldn’t even feel his own injuries. For once he wished Duo was in the room. Maybe then he could make him understand. For now, though, he was too tired to open his eyes again, let alone explain things to anyone.
Heero was worried. It’d been a day since the other two pilots had returned and Trowa had had fleeting moments of consciousness and Quatre was still weak. Sally was working nonstop with Wufei helping her and Duo; well his lover was not himself. Sure, he seemed happy and was still the jokester but Heero knew better. He was currently checking for missions and waiting for Duo’s return. He turned at the sound of the door opening and a familiar voice.
“Don’t worry about it Sal. I don’t mind late night shift, but make sure to come get me when you get tired, don’t want to lose our best doctor do we now. Never mind that you’re our only doctor. Good night Sally,” The braided pilot said as he stood in the doorway.
“Good night Duo,” Sally called as she went into another room. Heero turned to face his lover and for a split second as he turned he saw a flash of pain in the violet eyes before it was carefully masked.
“Hey Hee-chan!” Duo said cheerfully.” I’m gonna hit the hay, so don’t stay on too late, you know how I sleep better with my He-bear then without.” Duo grinned at his partner, but was met with anger.
“What do you think you’re doing!” Heero yelled.
“He…Heero?”
“Something’s wrong and you know it. What do you not trust me. I’m…. I’m… I’m worried about you, koi.”
“Heero,” Duo whispered before he shot across the room and into Heero’s arms. “Something’s wrong with Quatre, I know it. Something happened between him and Trowa and now, now everything’s wrong.” Duo began crying onto his lover’s chest as he finished.
“Shh baby, it’s alright,” Heero said as he held him tighter. “I knew it was something bad. He tries to help everyone out.” Heero thought to himself. “Is that everything, Duo?” Heero asked gently. Not risking words, Duo nodded his head, but didn’t leave from his spot.
“I’m sure Quatre is fine,” Heero said as he slowly got up and pulled Duo towards the bed. “You need to sleep,” He told his lover as he undressed him.
“But what if he’s not?” Duo asked meekly as Heero climbed into bed with him. Heero looked into his lover’s watery violet eyes and knew he couldn’t lie to him, not now, not ever.
“We’ll take care of him,” Heero replied, gathering Duo to him and tried to soothe him.
“Heero?”
“Hn.”
“I love you.”
“I…I…I know.” Heero stuttered out, still unable to give his love what he wanted, but Duo seemed content and snuggled closer.
“I hope Quatre’s alright, for both of their sakes,” Heero thought to himself as he listened to Duo fall asleep.
Quatre blinked his eyes open. His room was dark and there was finally no one watching him. He gripped the side of the bed tightly and all but rolled off, catching himself before he fell. He stumbled over to his door and looked out. The entire house was dark. He walked out his door and walked along the wall to the bathroom. Inside, he shut the door, not bothering to lock it because the latch didn’t work anyway, and he turned the shower on to as hot as it would go. He sat on the toilet and roughly undressed himself. He felt as if Trowa’s blood still clung to him, as if it had been absorbed into his skin. He stood up and clung to the sink for support. There was a razor sitting on it, used for the occasional spurt of facial hair. Quatre ran it against his arm and a thin line of blood followed it. He threw the razor against the wall and got into the shower. The water scalded him but he didn’t care. Finding that he couldn’t stand, he curled up in the corner of the shower, letting the water burn his skin. The wrappings around his shoulder and leg came loose and finally fell off, and his shoulder wound started bleeding again. He began crying, then sobbing. He could still feel Trowa’s blood on him. It burned more than the water.
If there was one thing Duo hated, it was waking up in the middle of the night for no reason. It was one thing if you had to pee, but otherwise why wake up.
“I might as well get something to drink,” he grumbled under his breath as he pulled out of Heero’s arms.
“Duo?” his lover sleepily asked as he tried to wake up.
“Shh, I’m just getting some water, go back to sleep.” Duo waited for Heero to grunt then went out of the room. He knew Heero would wait for him to get back to sleep, he always did.
“Idiot bastard,” the American grunted as he stumbled along to the kitchen, at least until he heard the shower running.
“What the,” he mumbled as he went to the bathroom. He could hear something from inside. Duo quietly stalked to the bathroom door and he cautiously pushed the door open. What he saw scared him.
“Quatre?” The braided boy asked to the sobbing ball of flesh. “Kat, oh God, what happened?” he said as he walked to the shower and turned off the scalding water. For once Duo was at a loss for words as he picked up his blonde teammate and carried him to Quatre’s room. He put the frail boy down and went back to the doorway he called Heero, who came running.
“Duo, what’s wrong?” Heero asked, immediately awake.
“It’s… it’s Quatre. Get Sally.”
Heero ran out the door and came back in with the doctor who began wrapping and disinfecting his arm while Duo rewrapped his shoulder and leg.
“What could’ve happened?” Sally asked when she finished.
“I don’t know. I found him sobbing sitting in the shower in scalding water.” Duo replied as he gently took the slight boy in his arms, wary of the wounds.
“I suggest we put him on suicide watch. I guess you want first, huh Duo. Make sure to be calming and supportive when he wakes up,” Sally instilled as she left the room.
“I will,” Duo replied.
“You gonna stay with him all night?” Heero asked as he sat beside Duo.
“Yeah. He’s like the brother I never had, ya know. Go back to sleep He-chan. You’re still not completely healed.”
“Hn,” Heero replied as he kissed Duo lightly and left the room, firmly shutting the door behind him.
“Don’t worry Quatre, it’ll be alright,” Duo soothed as he too began to cry.
“It has to be.”
Quatre opened his eyes to darkness. He began to weakly struggle against the arms that were holding, feeling like he was trapped in a nightmare. The arms tightened and Quatre whimpered. Then he heard the voice of his captor,
“Hey, relax, Quatre. It’s just me. It’s Duo. Everything’s fine.”
Quatre relaxed again, letting his head fall against Duo’s shoulder.
“Duo?” he asked quietly, “Why am I here? How did I get out of the bathroom?” He could feel Duo tense.
“Quatre- I… I found you…” Duo said, sounding like it hurt him. “I found you in the shower. You-“ He stopped. He couldn’t go on.
“You should have left me, Duo,” Quatre whispered. “It’s still there, I have to wash it off, I have to-“ Duo began rocking.
“No, Quatre, I won’t leave you!” He yelled. He realized his tone of voice and said, in a gentler tone, “Quatre, you’re like a brother to me. Don’t you know that? And brothers don’t abandon each other.” He squeezed Quatre a little tighter. “Now, what happened to cause all this? What happened on that mission?” Quatre tensed in his arms.
“Trowa…” he whispered. “I- I betrayed Trowa.” Duo began rubbing Quatre’s back. Quatre seemed to relax a little. He told Duo about the mission, beginning to cry not far into his story. Duo listened quietly, continuing to rub his back.
“Quatre,” Duo said when he was finished, “you did what you had to. You did what any of us would’ve done. Trowa is going to be fine. He’s alive and his injuries won’t affect him longer than a couple months. You have nothing to blame yourself for.”
Quatre shuddered against him. “Trowa’s blood is on my hands, Duo. It will never come off.”
“Your hands are clean, Quatre. There is no blood on them. You are innocent.”
Quatre twisted against Duo’s hold. “No!” he cried. “You don’t understand! I can never be forgiven! Let me go Duo, don’t touch me!” Duo held on tightly. When Quatre had worn himself out Duo looked him directly in the eyes.
“Listen to me, Quatre,” he said quietly. “You can be forgiven. And you will be. I’m sure of it. But you must forgive yourself first. Will you do that?”
Another tear slipped out of Quatre’s eye and slid down his cheek.
“I don’t know if I can, Duo. I just- I don’t know.”
Duo’s eyes became suspiciously wet as he stood up and set Quatre down on his bed.
“Please try, Quatre. I want you to try.” He said and covered Quatre with a sheet, careful not to let it rub against his raw skin. Quatre nodded and his eyes began to droop.
“Duo?” he asked softly. Duo leaned forward to hear him better.
“Yes?”
“Will you- will you stay with me tonight?” Quatre asked, suddenly looking like a small child. Duo smiled sadly and brushed some of Quatre’s hair out of his face.
“Of course I will. Now, you need to sleep.”
“Thank you.” Quatre whispered. “Good night, Duo.”
“Good night,” Duo said, and waited for Quatre to fall asleep to let the tears he had been holding fall.
Wufei didn’t think life would ever be normal again. It’d been a week since the Quatre incident and Wufei was currently on “suicide watch” over Quatre.
“Oh, come off it, Wufei,” the blonde pilot snapped back. Quatre had gotten more volatile every day since his accident.
“Like I want to do this,” Wufei snapped back. He was slowly growing to dislike Quatre, despite his trying to be neutral about the whole ordeal. They were currently sitting in his room while Sally cleaned out the Arabian’s room, claiming that it made the whole house smell with its excess of pointless garbage. Wufei turned from this glaring teammate and looked out the window. He could hear Quatre grumbling behind him. He ignored him until they heard the doorbell ring.
“I’ll get it,” Quatre yelled as he ran out of the room as fast as he could with his still healing leg.
“Wait, Quatre,” Wufei yelled after him as he ran down the hall. They both nearly ran over Heero and Duo who were carrying Trowa to the couch in the den. “Sorry,” Wufei grunted as he followed the blonde who currently was looking out the opened door to some man outside.
“What do you want?” Quatre asked, sneering. “We don’t want to buy anything.”
“I’m not a salesman,” the man replied. “I’m looking for…”
“They’re not here,” Duo cut him off as he sat Trowa down.
“But this is where…” the man started again.
“Where nothing. We’re the only ones who live here. And if you think you can come barging in here like you own the place, and another thing,” Duo ranted until Quatre cut him off.
“We don’t want to buy anything.”
“Boys, what’s all this noise about?” Sally called from within as she walked to the front room. “You guys need to quit fighting, oh my!” Wufei wondered why Sally looked so shocked to see their visitor that she’d even stop mid-rant.
“Hello Sally,” the man said cheerfully.
“Alec,” Sally replied, her voice like ice. The pilots all looked at each other and settled down to watch the show.
“Can I come in?” He asked.
“No,” she replied in a tone that rivaled Heero’s.
“Do you understand how hard it was to find you?” Alec asked as he walked into the room uninvited.
“That was the point. You broke up with me, remember,” she all but yelled.
“I was wrong. I’m sorry.”
“Ha! Sorry. You’ve never been sorry in your whole life. Your bed is just getting cold and you want me to come back to warm it up. Well I DON’T THINK SO!”
“But, but honey, I…”
“You nothing. And don’t Honey me you selfish bastard. You’re just mad cause I finally saw you for the spirit-sucking slug you are. Now get out of my house.”
“Your house. Your house. Now I see why you left. You’ve been warming these five’s beds the whole time, huh. Finally I see you for your true colors, a gold digging WHORE!”
Wufei had never seen Sally so mad and frankly he was tired of this slime who dared to be regarded with Sally. “How dare you call her a whore,” the Chinese pilot yelled out. “She’s here taking care of us. In fact, you see those other four,” he said, gesturing wildly at the other pilots, “Well they’re all gay. I suggest you leave before you get beat up by a bunch of scrawny ‘boys’.”
Alec took a look around the room and noticed the death glares in his direction. “Fine, I’ll leave. Besides, you were only good for a lay and even then you weren’t very good.”
Wufei couldn’t take it anymore and broke the jerk’s nose as he slugged him across the face. “You have no HONOR!” Wufei roared as he picked up Alec’s disgraceful form and threw him into the yard.
“Don’t come crawling back to me, Sally,” Alec yelled, trying to save his pride.
“I would never come back to you, NEVER!” she yelled as she slammed the door.
Wufei then realized Sally’s hidden beauty. She was gorgeous when angry, but also deadly. He took in the other four pilot’s looks from Trowa’s raised eyebrow to Duo’s open-mouthed gaze.
“Oh Wufei. Thank you.” He heard a female voice behind him.
“Humph, onna,” he grunted in return, trying to keep his feelings in check.
“That jerk! I don’t see what I ever saw in him. I need a shower,” Sally grumbled as she went down the hall before quickly returning. “Oh yeah, I forgot,” she said as she kissed Wufei’s cheek. “Thanks again for sticking up for me.”
Wufei looked awestruck at her retreating form as he raised a hand to his cheek.
“Woah! That was odd,” he heard Duo exclaim behind him.
“I told him we wouldn’t buy anything,” Quatre smirked.
Water had always soothed Sally. She loved rainstorms and baths and taking showers. And right now she needed something to calm her down. “That asshole,” she thought to herself as she gathered up a change of clothes and stomped into the bathroom. “Why did I ever go out with him.”
Sally began to start the water, trying to get the water just the right amount of hot and cold. She got under the therapeutic stream and began to sing,
another thing that helped soothe her.
He said honey,
You’ve gotten tough
Because my tone was curt
Yeah, and when I’m approached
In a dark alley
I don’t lift
My skirt
In this city
Self preservation
Is a full-time
Occupation
I’m determined to survive
On these shores
I don’t avert
My eyes
Anymore
In a man’s world I am
A woman by birth
And after 19 times around I have found
They will stop at nothing once they know what you are worth
Talk to me now
I played the powerless
In too many dark scenes
I was blessed with a birth and a death
And I guess I just want some say in between
Don’t you understand
In the day to day
In the face to face
I have to act as strong as I can
Just to preserve a place
Where I can be who I am
So if you still know how
You can talk to me now(1)
As she finished her anthem she felt a great deal better and was now ready to face the world, or at least her roommates.
Duo couldn’t believe what he’d just seen. First Sally’s ex shows up out of nowhere and Sally goes ballistic, then Wufei decides to blow his top too. All in a day’s work. And now he could hear Sally singing in the shower.
“We should have told her how thin the wall to the bathroom is.” Trowa muttered to the silent room.
“Hn.” Heero agreed.
“Wait, did Sally say she was living here?” Wufei asked.
“Yeah, she did.” Quatre mumbled from his corner. All eyes turned on Duo.
“What? She had nowhere else to go, and you saw the bastard she was living with and besides… she’s a doctor and nice and doesn’t take up too much room.” Duo babbled to his fellow pilots.
“True. When were you going to tell us?” Wufei pointedly asked.
“Umm, hey! Trowa knew,” Duo replied, pointing at the uni-banged pilot.
“Trowa?” Heero stated flatly.
“I answered the door when she showed up,” Trowa answered back. All eyes left him and turned back to Duo. Just as Duo tried to think of a way out the shower bathroom door opened.
“Hey Sally,” The braided boy all but yelled.
“Hi guys,” she called back, waving a bit. She was currently dressed in sweatpants and a ratty T-shirt with her hair pulled back. Duo looked over at Wufei to see the Shenlong pilot’s approving glance. At that moment Shinigami began to think of what excellent blackmail material he now had.
“Hello,” Wufei called as the others nodded.
“Well, I’m gonna go work on Deathscythe,” Duo said as he made his way to the door. The others said good-bye in their usual way leaving Duo to his miscellaneous thoughts. “This’ll be good,” he thought to himself as he went to the hanger.
Quatre opened his eyes and glanced at his clock. It was 1:00 AM. The green glow of the clock reflected lightly onto the sleeping Duo. Quatre slid out from under his sheets and stepped on the floor, staying as quiet as possible. Duo mumbled something about soup but stayed asleep. Quatre snuck out the door and into the hallway. He put his hand up against the wall and walked until he felt a door- Trowa’s. He opened it as quietly as he could and slipped inside, closing the door behind him. The only sound was of Trowa’s soft breathing. Quatre reached out in front of him and made his was through the almost tangible darkness. Trowa’s room had no windows, so naturally it was the darkest place in the house. Finally Quatre found the bed and kneeled down beside it. His eyes adjusted to the dark and he could see Trowa’s face outlined into the darkness. Quatre choked back a sob forming in his throat. He loved to look at Trowa’s face, but couldn’t bear to in the daytime now. He couldn’t bear Trowa’s eyes on him.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered into the darkness. “I’m sorry.”
It's been a while
Since I could...
Hold my head up high
It's been a while
Since I first saw you
It's been a while
Since I could stand
On my own two feet again
And it's been a while
Since I could call you
And everything I can remember
As fucked up as it all may seem
Consequences that I've rendered
Have stretched myself beyond my means
It's been a while
Since I could say
That I wasn't addicted
It's been a while
Since I could say
I loved myself as well and...
It's been a while
Since I've gone and fucked things up
Just like I always do
It's been a while
But all that shit seems to disappear when I'm with you
And everything I can remember
As fucked up as it all may seem
Consequences that I've rendered
Gone and fucked things up again... again
Why must I feel this way?
Just make this go away
Just one more peaceful day
It's been a while
Since I could...
Look at myself straight
It's been a while
Since I said I'm sorry
It's been a while
Since I've seen the way
The candles light your face
It's been a while
But I can still
Remember just the way you taste
Everything I can remember
As fucked up as it all may seem
To be... I know its me
I can not blame this on my father
He did the best he could for me
It's been a while
Since I could...
Hold my head up high
It's been a while
Since I said I'm sorry (2)
“Quatre,” a voice said and Quatre jumped and stared down at Trowa’s now awake face.
“Trowa?” he asked, his eyes wide. He began backing away from the bed.
“Wait!” Trowa called, reaching towards him. “Wait, Quatre. Don’t go.” Quatre stopped.
“Trowa, I can’t- I can’t- Oh Trowa, I’m sorry!” he cried.
“Come here.” Trowa said gently. “Come on, Quatre, we’ve got to talk.”
Quatre walked up to the bed and kneeled beside it again.
“Alright, Trowa. But I can’t promise you anything.”
“I’m not asking anything of you except to listen. Just listen to me, Quatre.”
(2) Staind, “It’s Been A While”