Disclaimer: I don’t own Gundam Wing, any of its characters, or the song “Lullabye” by Billy Joel.
by Liz
“There’s a Miss Bloom to see you, Mr. Winner.”
Quatre looked up at his secretary, but was quick to hide his surprise. After a few seconds of consideration, he said, “Send her in.”
She ducked out of the room, and a few seconds later was replaced by a homely girl, her face surrounded by curled hair as she looked quietly at Quatre. He made no move.
And save these
questions for another day
I think I know what
you’ve been asking me
I think I know what I’ve been trying to say
When the secretary was gone and the door closed behind her, Quatre spoke. “Have a seat,” he said, and as she moved to a vacant chair, he saw her flinch at his formal tone.
He sat himself down, behind his desk, and took a few minutes to arrange the papers in front of him. Finally, he said, “Where did you tell him you were going?”
“To the drugstore.”
Quatre once again feigned interest in the papers in front of him. Then: “I’m glad you came.”
She was silent, but although he did not look up, he could feel her watching his face closely. There was silence in the office for several minutes, as both searched for something to say.
And you should always
know
Wherever you may go
No matter where you
are
I never will be far
away
Finally, Catherine said, “I think you’re angry at me for coming.”
Quatre looked up. “Maybe. I though we agreed it would better if we didn’t see each other again.”
She looked away. “I know.“
Quatre stood up and began pacing along the wall. But soon he stopped, and added, “Although, I suppose I probably would have come to see you sooner or later. If you hadn’t come first.”
Quatre knew he couldn’t stay angry very long, and thought she would be smiling behind his back.
Goodnight, my angel
Now it’s time to sleep
When we went sailing
on an emerald bay
“I know,” she said, and he did hear the smile in her voice. He turned, and could once again see the moonlight curving over her soft features, the silver reflected back in her eyes….
He shook off the images and turned away again. She guessed at what he was feeling, and could also remember his soft voice answering hers, and the cool grass in the cool moonlight….
I’m rocking you to
sleep
You’ll always be a
part of me
“How is he?”
The question caught her off guard, and it took her a few moments to respond. Her voice was quiet when she did. “A little better, I guess. The doctors still say I shouldn’t leave him alone for too long, even though we went over the whole house to make sure it was safe for him.” She had long since given up trying to sound hopeful; Quatre knew the pain they both felt, and she did not need to hide it from him.
“Dorothy hasn’t been well, either,” he said, half turning. “Her therapy hasn’t been going well.”
“She hurts you, Quatre,” she whispered. “Why do you stay with her?”
Quatre hesitated a moment. “I… I love her, but….” He trailed off awkwardly, then added, “She needs me. Just like Trowa needs you.”
“No!” Catherine stood up. “It’s not like that between us, it couldn’t be! So why should he keep us apart like this? We could both help him, together, and he would get better. We would be together, all of us together!”
Quatre shook his head. “You know that couldn’t happen.”
Tears were starting down her cheeks now, and suddenly her hand was raised to hit him. Quatre caught her by the wrist, and stared into her face for a minute. She stared back, and the frustration and confusion slowly melted, until her eyes were soft and pained again.
“They need us,” he said.
“More than we need each other?” she whispered.
His eyes searched her face, looking for the content glow he had seen on that distant night. They both remembered….
Goodnight, my angel
Now it’s time to dream
And dream how wonderful
your life will be
Someday your child may
cry
And if you sing this
lullabye
Then in your heart
There will always be a part of me.
The kiss was long and deep, and as it lingered, both could feel the moonlight and the soft grass once again surrounding them. When they drew apart, Catherine didn’t look into his eyes, but closed her eyes and put her face against his shoulder. She felt him shift, and then he started singing; his soft voice surrounded her gently. He was giving her a song. It was the same lullabye he had sung to her that night, as she had lain half-asleep in his arms in the grass….
She tried to push away the images that threatened to block out the music: the razor, lying on the bathroom floor, and the paramedics as they carried him away….
She let the music carry her back to that night, the night she had almost lost her brother, the night Quatre had almost lost his best friend.
When the doctors turned them away from the hospital, they wandered together, through the darkness. Exhausted, tortured, they stopped in a park, and clung to each other through the windless night, finding comfort in the words they exchanged. Catherine wished she could remember what they had talked about….
But lullabyes go on
and on…
They never die
That’s how you
And I
Will be
She felt Quatre drawing away. She let him slip from her arms, and they stood, soon to be alone in their pain.
She nodded, and bit her lip as the last tears ran down her cheeks. She thought his eyes were shimmering, as well, and turned for the door. The handle was cold and hard, and as she grasped it, she could feel his warmth and the warmth of the moonlight flooding away, and knew she would never be able to reclaim it.
Quatre
watched as the door swung open slowly.
Too late, he wished he could close his arms around her again, but he too
felt the tide receding, and he was left cold and empty on the shore.
She stepped away, and the door
closed between them, a barrier they would carry in their hearts for as long as
they remembered the moonlight.
