Er . . . uhm . . . yeah. Don't ask what I was smoking when I came up with this. I don't remeberer.
Here's the deal. The Trooper world is the real world, everywhere else is the 'fake' world, and the
Troopers know it however no one in the other worlds knows it. Confused? Good, then you are
ready to read -
Arago initiates a spell to send all the Troopers to a dimension belonging to his brother, Warner,
where he will be able to easily capture them. But something (or someone . . . ^_^) messes with
the spell and . . . well . . . soon enough you will realize that the title refers not only to the spell,
but to the fic itself . . .
When words are bolded and italicized then that means that the Voice From Above is speaking. I
am the author, but no one QUITE knows who the Voice From Above is.
Oh yeah, I own nothing except a couple of sticks of purple lipstick and a metal studded belt. If
you really want them, you can have them.
Proud to be Yaoi with my standard pairings - Tou/Seij, Ryo/Shin, and Nas/Shuu
*~*~*
"Now with this spell I will be able to send all the Troopers to a dimension that is owned by my
brother, Warner! There I will be able to capture them with ease." And from there Arago burst
into spontaneous hysterical and maniacal laughter.
Shuten yawned, while Kayura polished her star swords, Rajura encouraged his spiders to engage
in a deathmatch, Anubisu quietly counted the ceiling tiles and Naaza taught his snake how to tie
itself into a sheepshank.
"Hey! What do you think you are doing? You're supposed to grovel and beg me for a chance to
help implement my plan!!"
Kayura snapped a chunk of bright pink chewing gum. "Says who?"
Arago growled. "Fine. I'll do it myself!"
Hey, look over there!
Everyone in the room quickly turned to the corner, to find it occupied by a little brown mouse.
"Aww!" Kayura exclaimed. That is until it was quickly snapped up by Naaza's python. The
python proceeded to choke when it couldn't get the mouse past the square knot in it's stomach,
and required the Heimlich and mouth to mouth from it's owner.
"Enough of this! You will obey me or I will have you all killed!" Arago growled.
Kayura raised her hand. "'Scuse me, sir, but isn't Shuten already dead?"
"Quiet! Didn't your mother teach you that it's impolite to point out plot inconsistencies?"
"Yes sir. Sorry sir. Won't happen again sir."
"Now I will put the finishing touches on my spell, which will send the Ronins to my brother's
dimension!"
"Excuse me sir." Anubisu said. "But who are the 'ronins'?"
"Huh? I didn't say Ronins! I said Troopers!"
Rajura raised a hand. "No sir, you said ronins."
"Damn it! I said Troopers! Now let's get on with it!" And with that, Arago spun a large painted
wheel on which was written the spell that would transport the Troopers to a designated spot.
Little did he know that while he was distracted, someone had changed some of the words of the
destination . . .
*~*~*
Meanwhile, the unsuspecting boys in question were happily enjoying a day in the sun. They were
all out at a waterfall behind the home of their dear friend Nasti.
Their friend was nasty?
Baka. That's her name! Nasti!
Why would anyone name their daughter Nasty?
It's a Japanese name!
So the Japanese like things to be nasty?
$(#*&$!!!!!! IT DOESN'T MEAN THE SAME THING IN JAPANESE!!!!
. . . oh. Well why didn't you just say so?
[[This inane rambling has been brought to you by : The Knights of Ni - Guardians of the sacred
words ni, ping, and oo-whom.]]
*sigh* Well, in any case, the Troopers were cheerfully enjoying a day at the waterfall. They were
all wearing swimsuits, which were wet from the water, and stuck tightly to the skin of their legs
and . . . *daydreaming*
*ahem* moving on . . .
It was while they were playing, not suspecting a thing, that suddenly the dimensions split and
they were all torn apart. They were grouped like so - Seiji with Touma, Ryo with Shin, and Nasti
with Shuu - because these are the romantic pairings that the Voice From Above prefers, and
he/she/it has ultimate power in this universe. *cowers*
First, we go to Touma and Seiji, because they're my favorites.
~~~~~ but first, a word from our sponsor ~~~~~
Djinn: <steps onscreen> Welcome, welcome, one and all to 'The Happy Gundam', the first and
only restaurant run by the characters of Gundam Wing!
<camera pans the restaurant>
Relena: Soda? You want Soda? Are you sure you wouldn't rather have Evian?
Wufei: Salad is for the WEAK! Real men eat MEAT!
Heero: ...and if you have a problem with the meal, I'll destroy you.
Noin: CATHERINE! Stop throwing the knives, that's not what they're for!!
Duo: <from kitchen> Hey, where's the wasabi??
Hilde: We're out. Will suicide peppers do?
Customer: I've been waiting to be seated for an hour? Aren't there any tables? ARE YOU
LISTENING??
Trowa: . . .
Sally: YOU WANT ME TO WEAR A SKIRT??!?!
Quatre: And please have a lovely meal.
50 Maguanacs: Yes, do!
<camera returns to Djinn>
Djinn: So come down and visit 'The Happy Gundam' today!
Duo: <off screen> Heero put down that gun!
Relena: <off screen> COME AND KILL ME, HEERO!!
Quatre: We shouldn't be fighting at all!!
~~~~~ we now return you to your regularly scheduled programming, already in progress
~~~~~
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Touma took a deep, cleansing breath, refilling his lungs.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!"
There were some places that Touma just did not like to be. And the skanky back room of an
unfamiliar restaurant had to be one of those places. Particularly when he was wearing a short-skirted blue waitress uniform and a headband with . . . yes, springy stars on top!
Christ! It's not like it's THAT bad!
"Yes it IS that bad!!" Touma yelled back to the Voice From Above. "What the hell is going on??"
Wait, I'll tell you in a minute.
Just then the back door flew open and a girl with long brown hair came running into the room.
She wore an outfit exactly the same as Touma's, right down to the apron shaped like an alien
head. "Christ Maria! Are you okay?? What's wrong??"
"Erhm . . ." Touma blinked at her uncertainly.
"Well? Are you hurt?" The girl demanded.
"No . . ."
"Well then you'd better get back to work before dad has a coronary! Come on!" And with that
she was gone out the same door through which she had entered. He heard her say one thing
before the door flew open again. "Max? Where are you -" and then a familiar blonde threw open
the door.
"Seiji!!"
"Touma! What the hell is going on here?"
Oh, so glad you asked! You see, Arago was trying to send you to his brother Warner's, but I
distracted him and reversed the wording, sending you to the Warner Brother's TV network!!
"Why did you do a thing like that?" Seiji asked, cocking his head.
Erhm . . . because this fic wouldn't exist if I hadn't.
"Forget about that, how do we get out?!" Touma demanded.
Well, first you have to reunite with your other friends. They're all on different shows on the
WB.
"All right then, how do we reunite with them?" Seiji asked calmly.
Well you have to find the word.
"What word?"
The magic word.
"Which magic word?"
The magic word that will reunite you with your friends.
"What is the magic word?"
The thing that will reunite you with your friends.
"What?"
Huh?
"What word will reunite us with our friends?!"
The magic one!!
"The magic WHAT?"
The magic word!!
[[This moment of incoherence has been brought to you by : Ealasaid. "I don't pretend that I know
all the answers. I don't even pretend to know what the questions are. Hey, where am I?"]]
"Well, if you won't tell us the magic word, can you at least tell us where - and who - we are?"
Touma pleaded.
Certainly. This is Roswell. Touma, you are Maria DeLuca, a flaky blonde girl who likes to
sniff vials of assorted oils, is the only child of a single mother, and is madly in love with a boy
named Michael Guerin.
"Joy." Touma grumbled.
Seiji, you are Maxwell Evans. You are a quiet and intelligent boy from a stable family. You
have a sister named Isabel, who is self-centered and beautiful. You are in love with a girl
named Elizabeth Parker but you refuse to admit it. Oh, and you are an alien.
"WHAT?!!?!"
Oops, look at the time! I'd love to stay but I have an early meeting tomorrow . . . eh-heh . . .
"Wait! You can't just leave us here!"
Sorry must dash. Ja!
"Wait!!" But Touma was yelling at nothing, for the source of the Voice From Above had already
left. With a muttered curse Touma pulled the bobbing star headband off and snapped it with one
hand. "Godamn it! What the hell are we supposed to do? We're in some inane angst-ridden teen
show on the WB network cast as fictional characters with no way out and . . . WHAT??"
Touma glared at Seiji, who had been staring quite pointedly at him for some time.
"Just thinking you look good in that skirt is all." Seiji said with a smirk.
Touma threw his hands in the air. "You're not helping!"