***Changing Places, Changing Minds***

By: Andrew Joshua Talon


EMAIL: hi@nowhere.com

Chapter 2: Encounter with Relena

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"Okay, don't panic..."

Talon/Duo stared at his reflection some more.

"PANIC!" shouted Talon/Duo as he ran around in circles like his head was chopped off. His (well, Duo's) braid swung wildly behind Talon/Duo as he continued running and screaming.

"I'm screwed! What the hell will happen to me? Where is the REAL Shinigami? And what will happen if he finds me and tries to kill me! Him! Me! WHATEVER!"

A loud pounding on the door made Talon/Duo screech to a halt. Cautiously, Talon/Duo took a giant step towards the door and opened it, albeit with some difficulty thanks to the piles of dirty laundry.

"What the hell is going on, Duo?" Scowled Heero Yuy from the dark hallway, "you're making enough racket to wake the dead!" Talon/Duo's mind raced, an idea popping into his head.

*Well, if I tell the truth, these guys will think I've-Er, Duo's lost it. If I try to blend in, I might (emphasis on "might") find a way to fix this mess. Aw hell, it's been done before, but what do I have to lose?*

"Er, well Heero, bro, I sorta-Stepped on a really sharp tack!" was Talon's excuse. Reaching his hand to cup the back of his head, Talon flashed his best Shinigami-grin at the Perfect soldier.

"A tack," repeated Heero, giving "Duo" a strange look. Talon widened his smile, hoping to God that Heero expected Duo to act like a total baka.

"No surprise, Maxwell. With all the crap in your room, I wouldn't raise an eyebrow if Deathscythe rose out of this chaos. Next time, scream a bit more quietly, will you?" "Duo" nodded stupidly at Heero, and Yuy snorted slightly in amusement as he departed.

Checking to make sure Heero was out of earshot, Talon breathed a sigh of relief, and headed back into the lair of Shinigami. Rummaging through the closet, Talon pulled out Duo's standard attire and proceeded to get dressed. His braid was hard to get used to, but Talon managed to keep it free of the cloth and polyester prison.

"Okay, now I'm Duo Maxwell," commentated Talon as he checked his appearance in the mirror," the God of Death, Love of Hilde's life, and all-around Goof Ball. How is one to assume such a form and know what he's getting into?" He flashed a devilish smile that Talon felt would make women faint in their tracks.

"I guess you have to hope for the best," concluded Talon as he posed a bit in front of the mirror. It was hard not to; Being a handsome devil such as Duo was something Talon had never experienced. He was characterized as the "nice, smart anime geek with glasses" at school, nothing more. Even if it didn't last, Talon would savor every moment of this "adventure".

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Talon/Duo pranced down to the dining room in what was obviously Quatre's mansion. It had taken a few tries to find the place, but ultimately Duo's keen nose led the way to the breakfast table. Piles of scrambled eggs, bacon, ham, pancakes, biscuits and fruit stacked on plates was the scene befalling "Duo". He leaped into the fray and started chowing down on the delectable spread. He went like a lawnmower, munching away and swallowing the food as needed.

"I see we're hungry today," came a bemused, feminine voice from somewhere starboard of Talon. Raising his head, Talon went wide-eyed when he saw Relena Dorian, in a nightrobe reading the morning paper. On her feet were a pair of bunny slippers, a dark blonde color matching Relena's own locks, only she had hers tied back with a black scrunchie.

Talon struggled to swallow in order to return the greeting, but something went down the wrong pipe.

"ACK!" choked Talon as he held his arms as high as he could. He was trying to stretch his diaphragm in order to force the food out. Didn't work. He struggled to breath, but just couldn't, and his mind had displaced how to do the Heimlich Maneuver. With his face turning blue and his mind blacking out, Talon felt someone land a powerful punch in the region just below his ribs. The particle of food flew out of Duo's throat and landed with a barely audible splooch on the far wall. Taking deep breathes, Talon winced as the pain that the punch brought came into full.

"You okay now, Duo?" asked Relena as she held the God of Death in her arms, her brow knitted in concern. Managing a weak nod, Talon managed to put on a goofy grin. Duo's body seemed to melt as Relena held him, her small but strong body adding her warmth to Duo's. Talon discarded any amorous thoughts that Duo's body had shoved into his mind and pushed them away, reminding himself that Heero and Duo would put a bullet between his (Duo's?) eyes if any of it went farther than a hug.

"Yup. That would be twice I owe you my life, princess," Talon remembered from all the Duo fics where the GOD (God of Death) wasn't OOC that Duo was especially goofy around Relena. Probably just to annoy Heero.

Sure, it didn't happen in the series, but Duo would probably do that anyway.

"When was the other time?" asked Relena, slightly puzzled. "Um, well. I guess this WOULD be the first time!" Silently chiding himself for the dumb remark, Talon grinned cheesily and gave Relena a bear hug, holding her up in the air.

"Duo...I can't breathe!" Relena gasped. Duo blushed furiously, and set Relena down on the floor.

"Oops. Er, sorry." Relena only giggled softly and patted Duo's cheek.

"Sorry I had to punch you. Does it hurt?" Duo rubbed his chest.

"Yeah, but hey, it saved my life. How ironic would it be if the God of Death died during one of his favorite past times?" They both cracked up, and sat back down to chat and eat.

It turned out that Relena was spending her summer vacation at Quatre's mansion while Lady Une handled diplomacy. Lady Une's "make peace or be blown to hell" style of diplomacy had easily pacified the colonies before, and with Relena relaxing out of the spotlight Lady Une would have a chance to let her dark side have a little fun.

"Have you seen Heero anywhere lately?" queried Relena.

"He woke me up this morning and went off somewhere. I don't have a clue where, though." Relena let a flash of pain dash across her features, but quickly replaced them with a glowing smile.

"Oh well. Duo, I'm just in the mood for some old-fashioned relaxation. Any ideas?"

"How about the Bingo place? You said you wanted "old-fashioned fun..." Relena threw a slipper at Talon, and Duo easily caught it, laughing at the look of mock anger on Relena's face.

"Be serious, Duo. Well, sorta' serious, at least." Talon hadn't the foggiest idea where there was fun to be had on this colony. It wasn't like he had a map or anything.

"Well, 'Lena, who says we need a specific place to have a good time? Let's just ride around and see what comes up, eh?" Relena seemed pleased with the idea, and so she ran upstairs to get dressed. Talon sighed, and picked up a magazine on the table. It was a Popular Mechanics, with a yellow sticky note saying "HANDS OFF OR I WILL KILL YOU-HY". Talon, figuring Duo would pay no heed, opened the magazine and flipped through it.

"What the-" Talon stared at a picture hastily shoved between a two-page Ford Truck ad. Heero Yuy, grinning widely, and holding Hilde in his arms? And both raising martinis above their heads?

"Uh oh..."

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Author's Notes:

Man, I'm just full of cliffhangers these days, aren't I? Sorry I haven't been able to upload stuff lately, my dad's got the Net password protected and the school got a filter for the server that blocks FF.NET! (Injustice!)!!!

Adding to that, the filter allows Ifilm.com through! And it's got a whole section devoted to porno videos!

INJUSTICE!!!! INJUSTICE!!!! INJUSTICE!!!!!!!

Talon: (deep breath) But no matter. VENGEANCE IS MINE! Take this!

He fires Wing Zero's ALMIGHTY BUSTER RIFLE OF DEATH AND DOOM at the building for the company who makes the filter. It goes up in a tremendous fireball.

Talon: YIPPEE! (charred guts hit Wing Zero) Ewwww.

R/R please!