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I'm hungry, homeless, flat broke and pretty badly injured. But Dawn is holding me gently, and Buffy isn't beating me to death. It's a relief to get past the big confrontation. The first one, anyway. And with the mayor's stuff gone, it's almost like the last few years never happened. I can start over. I can be what Dawn and my Watcher knew I was, before I lost them both.
Buffy keeps coming upstairs, rummaging around in her room, walking back and forth in the hall, sometimes running a little water in the bathroom. Any excuse to keep a constant eye on me and Dawn on Willow's bed. I avoid meeting her eye. We are this close to starting something ugly and I for one am not up for that.
Dawn kisses my ear and gets up. "You gotta see my room. I'm gonna go get it ready!"
Willow comes in to get something while Dawn's gone. She spots all the stuff Dawn has set up by the bed–aspirin, drinks, snacks, books–and hides a little smile. I don't like it one bit. The Scoobies are supposed to think I'm cool. Not funny.
"I'll clear out, Red. You can have your room."
"You stay put. Dawnie's fixing up her room."
I call after her as she leaves. "Hey, thanks. For putting in a good word."
She shrugs. "I'll be watching you like a hawk. We all will. But love isn't so easy to come by. I'm glad you found each other."
"Tell Tara thanks, too. I hope you two work things out."
She nods. "What you did, trying to make Dawn immortal. That was really bad stuff to mess with."
"I know."
"I would have done the same thing." She touches my hand as she leaves. I think she understands my dark side better than anyone else.
I hear the sounds of Dawn downstairs, fighting with Buffy. I should get used to that, I suppose. But I really don't want to come between them. Maybe I can't just be part of the family, but I still want things to be basically OK with B. That is one messed up Slayer. And I swear she's sleeping with Spike. To my Slayer senses, she stinks like vampire from a mile away.
Dawn raises her voice. "She doesn't move into her place until tomorrow! She has no place to sleep! And you hurt her!"
I hear Willow's voice butt in, too quiet to make out. She talks for a while. Then Buffy again, exasperated. "Fine, she can sleep on the couch."
"She's hurt! She needs a bed!" Dawn starts yelling again, but Willow cuts her off. I can't hear Buffy's final decision. But I'd be happy just to sleep on the floor. I have nowhere to go, but I wasn't dreaming of asking to stay. I should have known Dawnie would insist on it.
Dawn returns, smiling. "I've fixed up my room! You can stay over!"
"Can't wait to see it," I smile and give her a quick kiss. It's just plain surreal to be in her life, out in the open for all to see. I kinda like it.
"But first," she says, pulling the chain out of the front of her shirt, "here's the necklace. I got it back from Buffy. It was fun while it lasted!"
I take the ruby necklace for a moment and then return it. "There's a padded mailer in my paper bag. Already stamped and addressed. Will you mail it for me?"
"Sure. OK. I'll mail it in the morning. Thanks for trusting me. I don't think Buffy does yet."
"Always did, sweetie." I know without a doubt that she's done with the stealing.
She helps me up. I'm not that helpless. I kicked Buffy's ass pretty good today. But Dawn loves taking care of me and I ain't complaining.
Her room is just what I pictured. I knew the kind of stuff she would have, and even how she would arrange it. She shows my everything.
The bed is a surprise, though. It is absolutely smothered with stuffed animals. I start to laugh. "Dawn, how old are you? Where do you even sleep?"
"Hey, don't even talk to me about that! You had a ton of animals! At the same age as me!"
OK, true. Back in Boston. "At least I made them all myself!"
She looks sad. I touch her hair. "What is it, Dawnie?"
"It's all gone. Everything you had when you were a kid. All the animals you made."
Now I'm sad. "Yeah. Guess so."
"I tried to see you lots of times after you left. I didn't believe you were really gone. Until I saw your stuff in the dumpster. Your mom threw it all away."
I nod. Not too surprising.
She digs into the pile and pulls out... my God! I take it from her. "Antonio..."
"He has a name? He was the only one I could save. I love him."
"I'm glad he found a good home." I made him from old jeans and shirts. "He was one of my favorites."
"Keep him."
"No! I want you to have him."
"I know. I love him. But I want you to have something from back then."
A tear falls from my cheek onto the worn-out cloth. I really could use something from back then. That's the person I want to be again. "Thanks, Dawnie. You come see him anytime."
She looks at him, trying not to smile. "Faith... can I ask question?"
"Shoot."
"What is he supposed to be?"
I stare at her. "What do you mean? He's a giraffe!"
She puts her hand over her mouth, trying not to laugh. "He doesn't have a long neck."
I shrug. "He's a giraffe."
She starts to laugh hard. "Faith... I could never tell what any of your animals were supposed to be!"
I can't help laughing either. "What are you talking about?" Making stuffed animals is one of my big talents! Before I was the Slayer I planned to sell my own line of animals when I grew up.
But looking at Antonio, I kinda see what she means. And then we're both laughing so hard we can barely speak. It hurts my ribs like hell but I can't stop. She falls into my arms. "Some of them... I couldn't even tell... which end was the head!"
I wince in pain but I'm still laughing. "Oh, God! Stop! It hurts...!" She helps me onto the bed, scattering animals in all directions, and I settle in on my stomach, holding very still and using all my will not to start laughing again. She goes to get the aspirin and stuff from Willow's room.
She gets me all set up and then goes to brush her teeth and change into pajamas. It's been a long day. This is going to be the best sleep ever. I can't believe Buffy agreed to let us sleep together! What the hell did Willow say to her?
Willow and Xander appear in the doorway as Dawn is kneeling over me, tying my hair back with a ridiculous big ribbon that she chose just to bug me. Xander looks baffled, and Willow is trying not to smile. And now Tara, too. I suppose everyone heard our giggling fit.
Buffy comes up behind them and glares at us. "Out!"
"Buffy! You said she could sleep in my room!"
"Did I wake up stupid this morning? She sleeps here. You get the couch."
Now that's more like Buffy. Dawn sighs in resignation and finishes tying the bow.
I'm lying here clutching some kind of mutant stuffed giraffe, surrounded by bears and rabbits, wearing a big pink bow and being attended to by the greatest person on Earth like I'm a pet of some kind. Me. The chosen warrior. I look up at the people I used to impress with cool stories of wrestling alligators and chasing vampires on top of moving trains, and my face starts to redden. I wonder just how cool they think I am now! Dawn kisses the back of my head and folds the blanket over me and Antonio. I could just crawl down a hole and die. I have never felt so embarrassed in my entire life!
Or so proud.
"Come in."
Giles is just sitting on his luggage, cleaning his glasses and looking thoughtful.
"Heading back to England?"
He nods. "My taxicab is on the way. I don't think I'm needed here."
Wow, I almost missed him then. Not sure exactly what to say, though. "Did ya destroy the Box?"
He puts his glasses back on. "Tara and I, yes. The creatures are all dead."
"That's cool." I look around the room, avoiding his eyes in the awkward silence.
Time's short. One of us better speak. "Look, we can try the Watcher thing, if you're really into it that much."
"That is entirely up to you."
"Believe me, I'm not here 'cause I like the whole Watcher idea. I'm here 'cause of Dawn."
"She persuaded you to take a Watcher?"
"What? Dawn doesn't run my life! ...What's that little smile for?" Same little smirk Willow's been giving me. Jeez, how whipped do they think I am? Sure, Dawn was on about Giles, she made some good points... but this is 100% my idea. "I'm here because I want something from you."
"And what might that be?"
"I want to know everything about Dawn. The monks, the Key, the portal... Glorificus... everything you know. I know Dawn's version but I want every single fact about everything."
He shrugs. "Certainly, I can fill you in."
"Some day someone or something is going to come after Dawn. I want to be ready, because they're gonna have to come through me."
"And Buffy."
"Yeah, her too."
"And in return for this information you will begin training under my guidance?"
"Sure. What the hell. We'll give it a shot for a while."
I've figured out the thing that bothers me the most about it. It's not Giles. He's OK. It's not the Council. He'll tell them where to stick it. It's not even that I like to run my own life. What really gets to me the most is my first Watcher. It's been hard not to think about her lately. I feel like I've been following her guidance. Getting back on track. But I don't want to think about her. About what I saw happen to her. She deserved better. All I can do is try to be as good as she was. But I really don't want to think about Watchers at all. I don't want to compare everything Giles does to what she would have done.
He thinks for a minute. Or pretends to. "Very well. I think it may prove very worthwhile." He shakes my hand solemnly but that tiny smile is still hiding in his eyes.
He tells me all about Glory and the Key. I never realized just how seriously he had considered killing Dawn to keep the portal closed. Dawn forgave him long ago. She was ready to kill herself after all. And I know Dawn would have died if the portal had opened anyway. But I clench my jaw and will myself to stay calm when he tells me the story. Thank God Buffy was there to protect her. Like I should have been. And when he mentions Ben... there's something in his eyes that I don't like. Something I can relate to a little too closely. He's not all good. Not like my real Watcher. He drugged Buffy and took her powers when she turned eighteen, just because the Council said so! He turned on them afterwards... but my Watcher told me about that trial right from the start of my training. She trained me to fight without my powers. We had lots of secrets from the Council.
But who am I to judge? Giles is a decent Watcher. "Thanks for the scoop. Let's hope I never need it." I knew most of it already, but not everything.
"Let us hope not. Now... on to things you will need. What weapons to do you have?"
"Three crappy sticks I sharpened. All the good shit I bought with the Mayor's money, so I sold it with the rest of the stuff. As soon as I get my first paycheck tomorrow I'm gonna get a knife and nice piece of oak to make a real stake." Not to mention some groceries. I've been mooching off Dawn, doing laundry nude at the sink, and collecting change from the ground for three days. Good thing I'm too injured to slay or I'd be really hungry by now. Good thing I found a job sitting down, too. Punching numbers into a goddamn computer, in a back room where I don't have to dress up. I hate computers. I get a raise when I get my diploma, though.
"Stakes are a good start. If that's all you have, then I'm finally convinced you gave up the mayor's fortune. But you'll need much more than that." He unzips the longest of his bags and slides it towards me. The gleam of steel makes my pulse race. "See if you find anything you like."
Anything I like? Knives! Axes! Stakes! A crossbow! A sword! I feel like a kid on Christmas morning! This Watcher deal isn't half bad! I spin the sword through the air. Can't wait for my damn ribs to heal! Hell, I feel like I could go out slaying tonight! But I promised Dawn I'd be more careful this time. She wants me all better for the big dance on Friday. Except it looks like Buffy's killed that plan anyway.
"You talked to B lately?"
"I have. She's going through a very difficult time, Faith. I understand everything that's happened between you–"
"No. I don't think ya do." Nobody else knows how many times she reached out to me, and how hard I slapped her back. Nobody else knows just how much I wanted her dead. And vice versa.
"–but I must tell you from the start that I do not intend to get in the middle of it. You could be highly effective together, but if you've chosen to hate one another, I must ask that you not involve me."
I shake my head. "She hates me, but I don't hate her. She sets me off, you know? But she's what I always should have been. And she died for Dawn. I'd do anything for Buffy. Would you tell her... would you tell her if something comes up, with the slaying or whatever... she can call me. She'll never do it, but... tell her."
"Perhaps you should tell her yourself."
"I tried to. She thinks I'm full of it. She expects the worst from me. Can't blame her. If it wasn't for Red and her girl, she wouldn't let me near Dawn as much as she does. Which isn't much."
"Well I'm not prepared to be the messenger between you two. But if she asks about you, I'll be honest. And right now I wouldn't have much to tell her. I'm still waiting to see just what you've become."
I paw through the bag some more, trading one knife for a slimmer one, and then pause. "You take this stuff with you when you fly? Are you crazy? Or you just like being strip searched? Trust me, it's not as fun as it sounds!" You can't get a razor blade on a plane anymore... and he's got a battle axe stashed in his luggage!
"To be completely frank, I purchased those items after I arrived. And I wasn't truly planning on leaving. You may have noticed that no taxicab ever arrived."
I look at all his luggage. Staged for my benefit? "How long have you been waiting here all packed?"
"About three days."
But I thought he had given up on me when I refused him the first time. "No way."
"It's quite true. Dawn didn't think I should give up on you so easily. She can be very persuasive, can't she?"
~ Continue to Episode 11 – Seeing Red ~
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If you enjoyed this story, try CV-1. Buffy agrees to a meeting with someone from her past. It's not what she expected.
I turn around. The woman's pissed. And wearing a uniform. What now? They think I can hide a weapon in this skirt? Maybe a sewing needle! "CV's this way."
CV? "But I..." I gesture helplessly toward the phones, getting more confused and nervous by the minute.
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