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Lalala

Agie and I at sophomore year's Rockhurst Homecoming. We've known each other for about 13 years now and this is just one of the many memories we have shared together. I love you Like a sister, Agie. And never forget it.

-12/2/02

I'm Sensitive

I was thinking that I might fly today Just to disprove all the things that you say It doesn't take a talent to be mean Your words can crush things that are unseen

So please be careful with me, I'm sensitive And I'd like to stay that way You always tell me that it's impossible To be respected and be a girl Why's it gotta be so complicated? Why you gotta tell me if I'm hated?

I was thinking that it might do some good If we robbed the cynics and took all their food That way what they believe will have taken place And we can give it to people who have some faith

I have this theory that if we're told we're bad Then that's the only idea we'll ever have But maybe if we are surrounded in beauty Someday we will become what we see 'Cause anyone can start a conflict It's harder yet to disregard it I'd rather see the world from another angle We are everyday angels be careful with me 'cause I'd like to stay that way

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Some of the best quotes out there:

"A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words." -unknown

"My father always used to say that when you die, if you've got five real friends, then you've had a great life." -Lee Iacocca

"True friendship is seen through the heart, not through the eyes." -unknown

"When love is your greatest weakness, you will be the strongest person in the world."

"When a wound does not hurt, you are dead."

"With clothes the new ones are best with friends the old are best." -unknown

"A friend is someone who knows all about you and loves you just the same." -unknown

"Real friendship is shown in times of trouble, prosperity is full of friends." -Euripides

"The road to a friends house is never long." -Danish p

"If you judge people, you have no time to love them." ~Mother Teresa~

A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out. ~unknown~

Everyone hears what you say. Friends listen to what you say. Best friends listen to what you don’t say. ~unknown~

To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world. ~unknown~

No man is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry. ~unknown~

The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them. ~unknown~

Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile. ~unknown~

Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful. ~unknown~

Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened. ~unknown~

"Love is friendship set on fire" -unknown

Don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to. ~unknown~

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Now on to Deep Thoughts... by Jack Handey

To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kind of scary. I've wondered where this started and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus, and a clown killed my dad.

Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself: "Mankind". Basically, it's made up of two separate words -- "mank" and "ind". What do these words mean ? It's a mystery, and that's why so is mankind.

One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to DisneyLand, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. "Oh, no," I said, "DisneyLand burned down." He cried and cried, but I think that deep down he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real DisneyLand, but it was getting pretty late.

When this girl at the art museum asked me whom I liked better, Monet or Manet, I said, "I like mayonnaise." She just stared at me, so I said it again, louder. Then she left. I guess she went to try to find some mayonnaise for me.

We tend to scoff at the beliefs of the ancients. But we can't scoff at them personally, to their faces, and this is what annoys me.

As the evening sky faded from a salmon color to a sort of flint gray, I thought back to the salmon I caught that morning, and how gray he was, and how I named him Flint.

He was a cowboy, mister, and he loved the land. He loved it so much he made a woman out of dirt and married her. But when he kissed her, she disintegrated. Later, at the funeral, when the preacher said, "Dust to dust," some people laughed, and the cowboyshot them. At his hanging, he told the others, "I'll be waiting for you in heaven -- with a gun."

If you saw two guys named Hambone and Flipper, which one would you think liked dolphins the most? I'd say Flippy, wouldn't you? You'd be wrong, though. It's Hambone.

If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.

Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to calm myself down. I'll go over to the person's house and ring the doorbell. When the person comes to the door, I'm gone, but you know what I've left on the porch? A jack-o-lantern with a knife stuck in the side of it's head with a note that says "You." After that I usually feel a lot better, and no harm done.

Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis.

'The crow was calling his name', thought Caw.

I guess of all my uncles, I liked Uncle Cave Man the best. We called him Uncle Cave Man because he lived in a cave and because sometimes he'd eat one of us. Later on we found out he was a bear.

I can still recall old Mister Barnslow getting out every morning and nailing a fresh load of tadpoles to that old board of his. Then he'd spin it round and round, like a wheel of fortune, and no matter where it stopped he'd yell out, "Tadpoles! Tadpoles is a winner!" We all thought he was crazy. But then, we had some growing up to do.

I remember that fateful day when Coach took me aside. I knew what was coming. "You don't have to tell me," I said. "I'm off the team, aren't I?" "Well," said Coach, "you never were really on the team. You made that uniform you're wearing out of rags and towels, and your helmet is a toy space helmet. You show up at practice and then either steal the ball and make us chase you to get it back, or you try to tackle people at inappropriate times." It was all true what he was saying. And yet, I thought, something is brewing inside the head of this Coach. He sees something in me, some kind of raw talent that he can mold. But that's when I felt the handcuffs go on.

I bet a fun thing would be to go way back in time to where there was going to be an eclipse and tell the cave men, "If I have come to destroy you, may the sun be blotted out from the sky." Just then the eclipse would start, and they'd probably try to kill you or something, but then you could explain about the rotation of the moon and all, and everyone would get a good laugh.

If I lived back in the Wild West days, instead of carrying a six-gun in my holster, I'd carry a soldering iron. That way, if some smart-aleck cowboy said something like "Hey, look. He's carrying a soldering iron!" and started laughing, and everybody else started laughing, I could just say, "That's right, it's a soldering iron. The soldering iron of justice." Then everybody would get real quiet and ashamed, because they made fun of the soldering iron of justice, and I could probably hit them up for a free drink.

Children need encouragement. So if a kid gets an answer right, tell him it was a lucky guess. That way, he develops a good, lucky feeling.

I wish my name was Todd, because then I could say, "Yes, my name's Todd. Todd Blankenship." Oh, also I wish my last name was Blankenship.

I can't stand cheap people. It makes me real mad when someone says something like "Hey, when are you going to pay me that hundred dollars you owe me?" or "Do you have that fifty dollars you borrowed?" Man, quit being so cheap!

If you're in a war, instead of throwing a hand grenade at some guys, throw one of those little baby-type pumpkins. Maybe it'll make everyone think of how crazy war is, and while they're thinking, you can throw a real grenade.

The wise man can pick up a grain of sand and envision a whole universe. But the stupid man will just lay down on some seaweed and roll around until he's completely draped in it. Then he'll stand up and go, "Hey, I'm Vine Man."

Instead of a trap door, what about a trap window? The guy looks out it, and if he leans too far, he falls out. Wait. I guess that's like a regular window.

Sometimes you have to be careful when selecting a new nickname for yourself. For instance, let's say you have chosen the nickname "Fly Head." Normally, you would think that "Fly Head" would mean a person who has beautiful swept-back features, as if flying through the air. But think again. Couldn't it also mean "having a head like a fly"? I'm afraid some people might actually think that.

I'm telling you, just attach a big parachute to the plane itself! Is anyone listening to me?!

One way I think you can tell if you have a curse on you is if you open a box of toothpicks and they all fly up and stick in your face.

One of the worst things you can do as an actor, I think, is to forget your lines, and then get so flustered you start stabbing the other actors.

Weren't those great? Jack Handey is a damn Genius!!!!

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To Agie, Kat, Alli, Mary, Lorna, Lauren, Loren, Danelle, Allegra, Ashley, Kelly, Maddie, Casey, Anastasia, Robyn, Mark, Phil, Nick, Brian, Stewart, Bobby, Shaina, Keziah, Sarah... I Love you guys. I don't know where I'd be without you and through the good and the not so good, this one's for you:

There are few things pure in this world anymore, and home is one of the few. We'd have a drink outside, maybe run and hide if we saw a couple men in blue. But to me it's so damn easy to see that your people are the people at home. Well I've been away but now I'm back today and there ain't a place I'd rather go. I feel home when I see the faces that remember my own. I feel home when I'm chillin' outside with the people I know. I feel home, and that's just what I feel. Cuz home, to me, is reality and all I need is something real. We're feeling alright headin' out tonight. Maybe off to a dark driveway. I say, now some feel bored, and some are lookin' for more, but we all just decide to stay. We got nothing to do, but when I look at you I see something that I know and love. And with the crack of a smile we all stay awhile. We know from home there ain't nothing above. Well in the end, we can all call a friend, well that's something that I know as true. In a thousand years and a thousand tears, I'll come finding my original crew. Cuz to me throughout eternity there is somewhere we are welcome to go. I said it's something free that means a lot to me. When I'm with my friends I feel home. I feel home when I see the faces that remember my own. I feel home when I'm chillin' outside with the people I know. I feel home, and that's just what I feel. Cuz home, to me, is reality and all I need is something real. Home to me is reality and all I need is something real. I feel home.

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Funniest video skit ever!
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Bob The Angry Flower comics
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Mark's old site
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