AWAKENING
I LIE STILL IN THE DARKNESS OF MY GRAVE. ALONE WITH JUST MY THOUGHTS ECHOING IN MY HEAD. WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME? AM I DEAD? IF I'M NOT DEAD THEN WHAT AM I? THE SILENCE IS DEAFENING. THERE IS NO SOUND, NO BREATHING, NO HEART BEAT, NOTHING. MY BODY LIES QUIET, SLEEPING YET MY MIND IS AWAKE. MY EARS STRAIN FOR THE SLIGHTEST SOUND BUT I HEAR NOTHING BUT MY OWN THOUGHTS. I LIE THERE COLD AND ALONE IN THE PLAIN, PINE BOX, SIX FEET UNDER THE COLD, DARK EARTH. HOW LONG HAVE I LAIN HERE? TIME DOES NOT EXIST HERE IN THE GRAVE. I SCREAM IN MY HEAD OVER AND OVER " WHERE AM I? WHAT AM I? WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME? WHY? WHY? WHY?" NO ANSWER COMES, ONLY SILENCE. STILL I LIE THERE AND WAIT, BUT FOR WHAT I DO NOT KNOW. SURELY THERE IS MORE TO LIFE THEN THIS. SURELY THERE IS MORE TO DEATH THEN THIS. IS THIS ALL THERE IS? DO YOU SPEND ETERNITY LYING IN THE GROUND ALONE WITH YOUR THOUGHTS? TIME PASSES. HOURS, DAYS, WEEKS, MONTHS, YEARS. I KNOW NOT. TIME CEASED FOR ME WHEN I WAS LOWERED DOWN INTO THIS FILTHY HOLE. AS I LIE HERE THROUGHOUT TIME I SENSE MOVEMENT, MOVEMENT ON MY BODY. IS IT? CAN IT BE? WHAT IS THIS? MOVING ON ME? WORMS! MY BODY IS ALIVE WITH WORMS. THEY CRAWL CEASESLY ACROSS AND AROUND MY DEAD BODY. THEY CRAWL OVER MY EYES, THEY CRAWL IN MY EARS, THEY CRAWL IN MY MOUTH, THEY COVER MY BODY. IS THIS HOW I WILL SPEND THE REST OF TIME? ALONE, IN THE DARK, COVERED WITH WORMS? ME AND THE WORMS SHARE THIS DARK, DANK, PLACE, I SCREAM IN PROTEST BUT TO NO AVAIL. OVER AND OVER I STILL ASK "WHY?WHY?" AND THEN SUDDENLY, OUT OF THE DARKNESS A VOICE. AM I MAD? COULD THIS REALLY BE? DO I HEAR A VOICE THAT IS NOT MY OWN? THE VOICE IS LOUD IN THE SILENCE OF MY GRAVE, THE VOICE ECHOES IN MY HEAD, "YOU ARE CHOSEN" IT SAYS TO ME. "CHOSEN?" I ASK,"FOR WHAT? BY WHOM?" BUT AS I WAIT FOR THE ANSWER NONE COMES, JUST MORE SILENCE. WAS THIS REAL I ASK MYSELF, DID I HEAR THE VOICE OR HAVE I GONE MAD? SURELY I MUST HAVE IMAGINED IT. HOW COULD ANYBODY SPEAK TO ME IN THE GRAVE. BUT I HEARD IT. THIS I KNOW. I HEARD THE VOICE. I GROW SILENT, WAITING, WAITING FOR THE VOICE TO COME TO ME AGAIN. THERE HAD TO BE MORE. HOW COULD I BE CHOSEN. AND FOR WHAT? WHAT WAS I CHOSEN TO DO AND WHO DID THE CHOOSING? HOPEFUL FOR AN ANSWER I WAIT IN THE DIRT, BUT ONLY THE STILLNESS I HAVE GROWN ACCUSTOMED TO GREETS MY STRAINING EARS. HOURS I WAIT, DAYS, WEEKS, YEARS AGAIN I DO NOT KNOW HOW LONG I WAIT. TIME MUST BE ROLLING ON WITHOUT ME YET HERE STILL I LIE WAITING FOR MY ANSWER. "WHERE ARE YOU?" I CRY,"SPEAK TO ME! WHY WAS I CHOSEN? WHAT MUST I DO?" SILENCE. THEN IT COMES. THE VOICE BOOMING IN MY HEAD. "YOU MUST REST MY CHILD. WHEN IT IS TIME YOU WILL KNOW." "KNOW WHAT?" I SCREAM, "REST? I'VE BEEN RESTING FOR ETERNITY." AGAIN THE VOICE IS SILENT. SO I REST, AND WAIT. I WAIT FOR THE ANSWERS, I WAIT FOR THE VOICE. DEATH, I HAVE COME TO REALIZE, IS NOT THE END. I AM PROOF OF THAT FOR THOUGH I AM DEAD I STILL EXIST. ON WHAT LEVEL OF EXISTANCE I AM NOT SURE BUT EXIST I DO. AND AS I EXIST I WAIT, AND REST, AND WAIT SOME MORE, I GROW WEARY OF THE WAIT. I LONG TO BE OUT OF THIS DARKNESS AND LONG FOR THE VOICE, FOR THE TRUTH, THE ANSWERS I SEEK. AS I GROW WEARY I CEASE ASKING WHY, WHO CARES WHY, I EXIST, THAT'S ALL THAT MATTERS NOW, I EXIST. THE WORMS STILL CARESS MY BODY WITH THEIR LOVING TOUCH, SURROUNDING ME WITH THEIR LIFE, SUCH AS IT IS, EVEN THE LOWLY EARTHWORM IS GREATER THEN I. WHAT AM I TO THEM? JUST A BED, A ROAD, A MEAL. AS ETERNITY PASSES AND I GROW WEARY OF MY EXISTANCE I CHANGE. I FEEL THE CHANGE BUT I CAN NOT DISCRIBE NOR UNDERSTAND THE CHANGE. IT IS LIKE THE WORMS IN THEIR CONSTANT TRAVELS OVER AND THROUGH MY BODY HAVE CHANGED IT INTO SOMETHING NEW. SOMETHING BETTER. I NO LONGER LONG FOR THE VOICE, IT HAS BEEN TOO LONG SINCE I HEARD IT LAST AND I DO NOT CARE IF I HEAR IT NOW. I'M CHANGING AND THAT IS ALL I KNOW. AND THEN. WITHOUT KNOWING HOW OR WHY. I AWOKE. I FELT IT. MY BODY AWOKE FROM IT'S LONG SLUMBER. MY EYES OPENED UNDER THE DIRT, AND THOUGH THEY FILLED WITH THE BLINDING DIRT OF THE GRAVE I KNEW THEY WERE ALIVE, MY HANDS MOVED, MY FEET MOVED, I WAS AWAKE. BUT NOW WHAT? WHAT WAS I TO DO? I MUST GET OUT OF THIS GRAVE! THAT I KNEW WITHOUT CONSCIOUS THOUGHT, I HAD TO ESCAPE THIS DEATH CHAMBER. MY HANDS BEGAN TO CLAW AT THE ROTTED REMAINS OF THE CASKET IN WHICH I HAD LAIN FOR WHO KNOWS HOW MANY YEARS. THE WOOD ERODED AWAY BEFORE MY CLAWING FINGERS. SOON THE RICH, COOL EARTH GAVE WAY TO MY EFFORTS, I WAS DOING IT. I WAS GETTING OUT. UP, UP THROUGH THE DARKNESS I CLAWED, REACHING UPWARD TOWARD THE LIGHT, TOWARD LIFE. AT LONG LAST MY FINGERS BROKE THE SURFACE AND I FELT THE SENSATION OF AIR. AIR, HOW LONG IT HAD BEEN SINCE I BREATHED CLEAN, COOL, LIFE GIVING AIR INTO MY LUNGS. I LONGED TO BREATH DEEPLY OF THE AIR. MY HANDS TORE THROUGH THE EARTH NOW UNTIL AT LAST I CRAWLED FROM THE GRAVE AND STOOD AT LAST ON TOP OF THE GROUND AGAIN. I WAS BACK!
CHAPTERS
CHAPTER 1
CHAPTER 3
CHAPTER 4
CHAPTER 5
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