Fall Apart Chapter Eight: Kiss Me
Disclaimer: I don't own nuthin *pout*
****************************************************************************************************
All alone, Saturday night,
It's ruined because I can't quite,
Force myself to love you.
Though I try, and cry, I wonder why?
I can't force myself to want you,
Though I try and cry, I wonder why?
I can't think what to do.
Solitary in my spite,
It's all ruined cos I can't quite,
Bring myself to love you.
Though I try and cry, I wonder why?
I can't force myself to love you,
Though I try and cry, I wonder why?
I can't think what to do.
****************************************************************************************************
It was four am before the sounds began, and as the clock chimed its distant melody Toshiya flung the bedclothes back. Only a surprised grunt was issued from his semi-conscious lover and it barely reached the bassist's ears, so focused was his need, his hope that this was one of their wayward friends returned.
Toshi hesitated for a moment to snatch his robe from the nightstand, pulling it clumsily on in the twilight cast from the neon signs level with their modest windows. It was a fumbled path towards the door, but eventually Totchi found his way and slipped silently into the lounge, his eyes wide with shiny curiosity and heart pounding in the fragile cavity of his bared chest.
"H-hello?.....Kao?? Kyo?? Shin-chan??" The pitch of his voice rose dramatically as a shadow staggered in to view, both of its visibly trembling hands clinging to the opposite wall as if for dear life. In a rush of footsteps and fingers Toshi gathered the strange body in his arms and without another hint of noise they sank to the floor.
"What the hell is-" Die's rich voice cut into the silence and he flooded the room with amber light.
Toshiya raised his head, only now able to see who his fallen friend was.
"K-komban wa Totchi, Daisuke." Lips painted with cracked crimson moved seemingly of their own accord and a bracken of blonde strands hung down over the cherubim face of their broken Kyo-kun.
Die took the fraction of Toshiya's distraction to make his escape to the kitchen and Kyo glanced up with minimal interest when the sharp screech of a kettle brewing reached them. Toshiya's slender fingers played over his face, cupping both sallow cheeks and tracing the faintly dried trails of former tears. He checked Kyo over throughly, finally pulling the petite vocalist in to a bone crushing hug.
"Oh God Kyo, never do that again....never...you've had me worried sick. Of all the stupid, irresponsible-"
"Gomenasai Toto, " He replied softly, his own quivering hand reaching up to tangle in Toshiya's hair, seeking comfort and reassurance as he'd never done before. Toshiya exhaled loudly with relief and rocked them both, unaware of the mirror image they were casting and utterly ignorant of Kaoru's plight for a few sacred seconds.
"Hey," Die knelt gracefully beside them both and laid down a tray of steaming mugs, "You look frozen, let's get ya out of those wet clothes and into bed ne?"
Kyo managed a vague smile, his voice coloured by typical cheekiness, "Are you propositioning me Die-kun?" The red-head rolled his eyes, betraying none of the immense relief bubbling just beneath the surface and offered Kyo a mug, "You wish, now drink up."
As Kyo accepted the searingly hot green-tea and sipped at it primly Toshiya's raven eyes caught Die's and they shared a brief, but knowing smile.
The night had brought one of their kin back, now it was just a matter of reuniting the others.
**************************************************************************************************************
There was something in his mouth, clogging up his windpipe and as he cracked open one eye, he came to the stunning realisation that he was blind too. Kaoru lifted his head with the greatest of exertion and found that he'd been lying face down in a pile of wadded up, distinctly odorous sheets. The room around him was furnished in tacky teak and reeked of sex, mingled with stale sweat.
A love hotel.
He laughed softly, finding the irony in this situation seconds before his headache caught up. A sudden explosion of pain forced him back to the dirty covers and sent a tiny groan shimmying up his throat.
It was a good quarter of an hour before he could find the will to sit up. The dark fabric of each item of hastily chosen clothing had crumpled beyond all recognition and as he caught his ghost in the mirror it seemed the last vestiges of his mask had been torn away by the fetid material beneath him.
Kaoru swung both legs over the side of the bed and tried to stand. The gargling twist of nausea embedded in his stomach was nearly too much, but he willed it away, heading for the door with a determination he'd would've sworn was diluted out of existence last night.
The stranger from the bar had been right- some things were worth fighting for.
*************************************************************************************************************
"Yoshiki-san? Is this done yet?" Shinya's faintly accented tone wound through the kitchen towards his older host, who was currently setting the stylish glass-topped table that fitted perfectly into his million yen apartment. With a last addition of a single napkin folded into the shape of a rudimentary rose Yoshiki padded back through his flat to the other room.
Dir En Grey's impeccably feminine drummer was standing in front of a large stove, his hand poised over a wok and clutching a long-handled spatula, he glanced up and gave Yoshiki a shy smile. "I usually leave the cooking to Die-kun at home......actually he does all the domestic work." Yoshiki chuckled and approached his protégé, peering over his shoulder. "Oh? I didn't peg him for a housewife- does he have a girlfriend or something?"
Shinya nearly dropped the implement, his cheeks turning rouge in an instant, "I-ie....I thought you would know Yoshiki-san..." With the smallest of wicked smiles the ex-X-Japan member shook his head and leant forward a little further, practically resting his head on Shinya's shoulder.
"Know what?" He baited.
Shinya gave a tiny nervous laugh, "Why Die-kun and Toshiya are lovers...for almost two years...."
Yoshiki nodded, his smile fading just enough for Shinya to catch it in the corner of his eye, "D-does that disgust you?" He asked slowly.
The spatula clattered to the floor as Yoshiki spun Shinya round by his arm and looked him squarely in the eyes, "Why would it...? Afterall...."
He trailed off, a distant reproach taking over for a fleeting second.
"Y-yoshiki-s-san.....were they true...the rumours?" The brunette slapped a hand over his mouth the moment the question escaped, a look of abject horror on his face at the bluntness of his suggestion.
(Don't hate me.....I didn't mean....)
Yoshiki looked up again and took a step forward, closing the gap between them, so that Shinya's rear rested firmly against the stove edge. His arms slid around Shinya's hips and darkness met light as their eyes met, "Hide was my everything, I loved him more that the band, more than anyone I'd ever been with....the rumours were true...every one of them....I'd give my life to see him smile again, but you can't dwell in the past.....I want to take all the minutes of happiness left to me."
The silence hung like tangled spider webs as Shinya studied his face for any hint of humour, any sign of sarcasm, but it held only sadness and hope. And as the food boiled over noisily upon the stove Yoshiki leant over and kissed his young student.
Shinya's nerves were palpable, but somehow he found the courage to respond, passing all the cruel memories of recent days by. There was only now and he existed only in Yoshiki's embrace.
*************************************************************************************************************
The little bundle nestled amid a pile of plump pillows on his neglected bed hardly resembled the former screaming, self-gratificated singer of their dark melodies, but he was beginning to. Toshiya had insisted on spoon feeding the blonde and even fetched a bowl of warm water and cotton wool to ease the pain of his torn piercings.
Die had made several trips out to notify various people of Kyo's return and gather food for the predicted resurgence of Kyo's monster appetite. True to form he'd begun poking and prodding Toshiya for some candies and other unhealthy treats if only to offer a distraction from Kaoru. His love had gone conspicuously unmentioned and in hushed voices Totchi broached the subject with his other-half, but met only helpless platitudes.
While Kyo slept, his face turned in angelic slumber towards soft sheets Toshiya left his bedside and picked up his mobile from where it lay discarded. His nimble thumbs dialled Shinya's number.
*ring ring ring ring*
With a small frustrated sigh he tossed the phone back onto the sofa and returned to his demanding patient.
**************************************************************************************************************
He wasn't sure how they'd reached the bedroom or quite where the flimsy constructs of clothing that separated them had disappeared to, but the shallow train of gasps echoing in his ear made all other concerns slip away. Shinya's skin was pure, and radiated the gathering heat between them with every faltering movement. His inexperience caused a symphony of suppressed tremors to course through him, but Yoshiki's kisses were plentiful and deep.
The older blonde hitched Shinya's legs up and withdrew his slick fingers, stifling a sharp moan of mingled protest and pain. Humbled hands reached to curl around his shoulders and Shinya wriggled, expelling a breathy giggle. "Ready Shin-chan?" He murmured roughly.
The drummer nodded and braced himself, the entire length of his body tensing as Yoshiki slipped inside him with forced slowness and caution. His passions were quelled at least until Shinya's cry melted. With a tentative thrust he tested the waters and was rewarded with another squirm from the brunette, who drove himself thoughtlessly down, crying out into the darkness.
His hand slid between them and stroked with shaking reluctance up the throbbing underside of his sex, a single slither of moisture coating his fingertips.
"Aah..Y-yoshiki-san....n-ne harder..." The voice in the night was not his own, but spoke from the heart.
Yoshiki pandered to his pleas happily, his own soft moans tangling with Shinya's as they moved rhythmically under the pale sheets. Shinya's touch roamed over his back, the thin slice of nails only adding to his blind lust. A damp streak ran over his hypersensitive stomach as Shinya worked himself in time to each fevered thrust, the head of his sex was dripping and overcome with a dull ache.
The younger man's cries came in a garbled rush, gathering in pitch and desperation until Yoshiki felt a sudden wetness explode over his sweat-slick body and with a muffled scream he joined Shinya in ecstasy.
....................................
................................................
...........................................................................
They lay entwined together, both chests heaving and after a torturous few minutes Yoshiki pulled away, his arms wrapping round his young love. "Shin-chan.....are you okay?" He whispered anxiously. Shinya looked up and nodded, snuggling up against Yoshiki's firm torso. "Hai, more than okay.....much more."
*ring ring ring ring*
Shinya jumped a little, his skittishness rewarded with a teasing squeeze from Yoshiki, " Ah hell, let it ring ne?" The brunette grinned and let his eyes fall closed, happy just to be held and maybe even.....he hoped.....loved.
***************************************************************************************************************
