Fall Apart: Chapter Seven Inside Of Me
::Kyo::
I dreamt I was running, tearing through the undergrowth with something at my heels.
I dared not look back, for fear of it consuming me- not physically, no that's far too simple, too comforting, like the monster beneath your bed as a child or the shadow which holds a crazed killer. No, this was far worse.
Nothing much scared me, looking in the mirror and seeing what the world could....I guess that's what some people call disturbing. Their idea of horror, not mine. Painted and pretty, am I not like my brothers? My sisters? Why is it so different for me?
I couldn't even force my eyes back, not for a second, because I almost knew what would greet me if I did. So I kept running. As fast and as far as one lone person can....... For in darkness was my past, you and that's the one thing I can never face.
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::Kaoru::
I called the hospital- a visit would ruin us both at the moment. I knew he wouldn't leave a note, not even a single word to satisfy my fears. Hmm....half expected to find him strung from the rafters- a tribute to our lost kin. The pink-haired mystery. I think I'm going out of my mind with guilt.
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Another torrent of rain hit the windscreen, only to be swept away by the rhythmic arc of the wipers a moment later. The constant trickles of water had distorted the world outside for the occupants of the car. A spoiled jumble of evening colours their sole reminder that beyond the metal confines life still carried on. No matter how much they would wish for a second's respite from tonight.
Die was intent upon the road, his face wrung with pallor, as the situation finally began to sink in. It was just them now- Toshiya, leaning precariously from the open window, his throat red-raw from crying out into the storm. The call repeated over and over.
A cry for all they stood to lose.
Finally, he slumped back down into his seat. No longer the fun-loving parent......not in these tense hours anyway. Even his compulsory make-up was absent and as the last vestiges of royal blue dye slid like tears down his alabaster skin the illusion was broken.
"Nothing, nothing! Kuso. What the hell does he think he's playing at ne? I'm gonna take him back- back to the hospital when he shows up. Let him see the fuckin mess he's made of Kyo. I bet he doesn't even know yet. Useless......useless.." Toshi buried his face in his palms, rubbing furiously at his wind-chaffed cheeks.
And before Die could mutter a tired response he stuck his head out the window again, frustration and fury contorting his usually carefree face, "YOU HEAR ME KAORU?? HE'S GONE! YOU FINALLY DID IT. YOU DROVE THE ONLY ONE WHO COULD EVER LOVE YOU AWAY!!" The scream was all but lost to the traffic's roar.
A firm hand yanked on the back of his sodden t-shirt and nimble fingers thumbed the electric window control, blocking off Toshiya's soap-box. The bassist crumpled against his lover's shoulder, breathless and drained. His dreams for the band had never looked so distant.
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"Hmm....right.....I'll tell him....Arigato, Ja ne."
Shinya listened with half an ear as the phone clicked back into it's cradle and Yoshiki's muffled footsteps approached. He waited those agonising seconds for a polite knock at the door and gathered his composure to greet the older man with a winning smile.
It died on his lips.
"Shinya-kun, I have some bad news." The lively gait was gone from Yoshiki's body and despite all of Shinya's attempts those honest, eager hazel eyes would not rise to meet his own. With a soft flutter of pages the french fashion magazine in his lap slipped to the sheets and he sat up fully.
"Nani?"
Yoshiki padded over, his gaze still locked to the plush carpet of Shinya's make-shift room and perched on the edge of the un-made bed.
"It's nothing to worry about, well....I mean, after....hell..." Shinya's brow furrowed. Yoshiki had never seemed one to fumble for words and this small realisation raked tiny slivers of fear through him.
"W-what is it Yoshiki-san? Please?"
The blonde finally looked up, a reassuring smile already forming on his dusky lips, "Don't worry okay? Kyo has just run away from the hospital, but I'm sure they'll find him soon. Or maybe he'll come back on his own ne? Like Kaoru will. You'll see. Everything's going to be fi-"
His assurances fell silent as the first tear escaped Shinya's bright eyes.
"I know...we're all going to be alright ne? Ne?" Shinya managed a tiny smile, ignoring the tremble in his words and the hysteria bubbling up within. This was as bad as it could get.
Ne?
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::Toshiya::
I used to think Kaoru was my brother. How could he treat Kyo like this?? At the very least he should be on his knees. As I would be if it was Die. Begging, begging for his forgiveness. Kyo trusted him. Hell, we'd all trust him with our lives. Or so I thought. But, this is tearing us apart.
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::Die::
I've never seen him like this. So angry and yet so scared. In my arms he feels fragile and I find myself blaming Kaoru. But, none of us are innocent. We just need to find each other again.
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::Shinya::
Thankyou for Yoshiki. Thankyou.
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