Aishiteru Chapter Two: Memories and Feelings.
"Where do you expect him to go? I mean his apartment is up two flights of stairs and short of fitting a lift it's pretty much out of the question." You gave the doctor a sour look, his arms folded matter-of-fact over his lean chest.
"I'm sorry but that isn't my problem.....maybe he could stay with one of you?" The small man cowered under You's raking gaze, his hands gripping the charts for Gackt tightly.
Ren shrugged, his face screwing up with guilt, "My place is out. The decorators are in to do my kitchen."
Chacha grinned, poking his comrade in the ribs, "But Ren-kun you never cook anyway." The comment was rewarded with a pout and You sighed in exasperation as Ren began to chase an ecstatic Chacha round the corridor.
He turned back to the doctor, "Toshi is on a business trip for the next week and I refuse to leave Gaku with Chacha." The doctor's eyebrow curved upwards in confusion and he shook his head, "Well, I leave it up to you to organize Mr. Gackt's care, I just need that bed as soon as possible."
And without another word he spun on his heel and departed. You sneered at his back in annoyance. No one seemed to be bothered about healing, it was all beds, funding, yen . He gave the doctor's back one last jaded frown and glanced over to Gackt's door.
The young singer was staring back at him, his eyes clouded with something undistinguishable. You approached his bedside warily, sitting down on the pale sheets.
"How are you feeling?" He asked, slightly disturbed by the blue gaze that greeted him. He'd known Gaku for years, but sometimes it was impossible to read his thoughts.
Gackt smiled, the clouds clearing and placed a bandaged hand over You's, "Better, I need to get well quickly."
You grimaced, he'd known this was coming though, "You're going to rest until you're completely healed. The doctor told me this was brought on by stress..."
Gackt glanced away, his hand slipping from You's slightly, "I can't be seen to be weak.....for my fans.....and for-"
"BULLSHIT! I won't let you do this. Next time you could die for God's sake!" You gasped softly, his hand clamping over his open mouth as he quelled the rage that had bubbled to the surface.
Gackt was looking back at him, wide eyed with shock, he sat in silence for a torturous moment before nodding slowly, "M-maybe you're right...."
That pain, so fresh, a deep wound only dulled by time and never to seal itself rose again.....Gackt bit his lip and forced the memories back, down into the cold place in his heart where he could pretend it had not happened.
(K-kami.......)
"Gaku? I'm sorry...I didn't mean to shout..." You leant closer to his friend, a supportive hand on his shoulder.
Gackt closed his eyes for a second, beating them down, pushing the thoughts so rampant away from himself, to that dark prison where they couldn't hurt him anymore.
Finally he met You's stare and his lips curved into a tiny smile, "I'm alittle tired.....that's all."
You mirrored his expression, a facade placed carefully not to let his concern show through. He stood and gave Gackt's shoulder a little pat, "Get some sleep....I'll organize a place for you to stay until you're better."
"Thanks....." Gackt lay back, his lids feeling too heavy all of a sudden, maybe You was correct. Heaven knows he hadn't had a holiday since....
(No......leave them be........)
You slipped from the room quietly, lingering only long enough to watch Gackt's eyes close, his face relaxing in slumber. He looked angelic when he slept, it seemed to be the only time he wasn't troubled.....
You mused as he entered the corridor again, Ren had cornered Chacha and was mercilessly tickling him. The poor guitarist's face had turned a vivid shade of scarlet.
(I wonder.......what haunts him so.....sometimes those eyes, they tell a different story to his smile.....)
"You...." Masa was striding down the hallway towards him, a tray with two coffees and two coke cans balanced on one hand. Ren abandoned Chacha, much to his disappointment and dived at the brunette, his fingers deftly snatching a can before Masa even finished his sentence.
Masa sighed and passed the tray to Chacha, taking a can for himself and popping the ring pull with a sharp click.
He headed for the row of chairs opposite Gackt's door and sat down. You dutifully followed, shooting a weakly frustrated look at Chacha and Ren who had begun their pursuit a new.
"You...is Gaku okay?"
You pursed his lips, recognizing the tone of Masa's voice almost immediately, he'd heard it from himself a thousand times in the bathroom mirror, "He needs to slow down.....stop infact and recover. I think everything just overwhelmed him finally."
Masa leant forward, the can hanging, untasted between his legs, "....but he'll be alright ne?"
You nodded, "Yes, but only in time....now if I can just find a place for him to stay."
Masa's head shot up and he nearly spilt the coke, "Stay? Aren't you going to-"
"No." (I couldn't bear it.....) You looked away, his fingers lacing through each other to disguise their shake. "My home is up stairs." He replied unconvincingly.
If Masa had caught the deceit in his words he didn't let on. The short guitarist bit his lip and drew enough courage to ask his question, "Do you think Gaku would mind staying with me?"
You met his excited eyes, torn between liking his adorable friend or hating him for what he knew the other felt.
(The same as I do......)
"When he wakes up, I'll ask him." You answered in a monotone, desperate to keep the sadness buried.
Masa grinned and sprung up off his chair, stopping just short of cheering.
(Gaku in my home......)
The fresh remembrance of their kiss.....even if it meant nothing to Gackt was enough to brighten Masa's heart. If Gackt said yes, then he could take care of him.......and maybe......
You stood sharply and turned away, taking his first steps down the corridor, escaping....
"You-kun! Where are you going?" Masa called, in an elated voice.
"I just need some air..." He replied bluntly and stormed away. But Masa didn't notice, he was too wrapped up in his own cocoon of hope.
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~~ Their breathless gasps echoed through the night air, trails of steamy breath winding into the dark sky above.
Below the city went on as normal, a shimmering sea of lights and sounds, all oblivious to the events overlooking them.
Gackt leant back, his body shuddered, back arching off the damp picnic blanket underneath. Kami knew exactly how to play his body like his own cherished instrument. He'd always cursed the fact that Kami was relegated to the back of the stage when they performed, hidden from the hordes, he wanted to hold him, show him to the world. 'Fan service' they called it and with anyone else it would have been but not Kami.....
His fingers dug into the downy wool, a tangled moan of ecstasy torn from his lips as Kami claimed him. The chilled air a faraway respite from the burning sensation that was spreading like wildfire through his hips, past fingers and toes, until finally, helped by gentle caresses and impassioned comforts it was replaced by wave after wave of pleasure.
He was never sure how it happened, but as they made love, so perfect in the moonlight he began to breathlessly sing, lyrics falling from his lips so easily. Declaring his love in tune....
He came on a high note, a crescendo to both song and experience. Kami followed soon after, spurred on by the still hovering shivers of Gackt's voice.
And then, in blissful silence, they lay, naked, entwined together under the blanket until morning......
(Aishiteru Kami......)
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Masa waited impatiently outside the door, he'd worn a small groove into the floor pacing and eventually been told off by a particularly haughty nurse. He leant against the wall, drumming his fingers in time to Mizerable without even thinking about it, all he could concentrate on was the answer.....
The lock clicked and You emerged, he cried out as Masa nearly bowled him over, arms grabbing his shirt, "Whaddidiesayhuhhuhhuh???" Masa babbled loudly.
You carefully prised his overexcited friend's fingers from his top and smiled, "He said yes...and I think he's still awake if you want to see him."
Masa gave him a little victory sign and pulled open Gackt's door, practically tumbling inside. He regained his footing just in time to see Gackt, sitting up, a laugh badly concealed behind his elegant hand.
"H-hi." Masa's nerve strayed slightly and he drew up a chair.
Gackt coughed, his face gaining some of it's old colour, "So, I hope your place doesn't have stairs." He said with a smile.
Masa laughed softly, "Nope. And it's not too much of a mess either." Gackt rolled his eyes dramatically as he pictured Masa's home. His friend was a king of understatement when it came to grime and he left a trail of destruction in his wake.
Masa pouted, his eyes widening, "No really.....I tidied when I heard-" He trailed off, a tinge of red on his cheeks.
Gackt smiled again, "Well ,I'm looking forward to being your guest....I promise I won't be too much trouble."
Masa gave him a thumbs up, attempting to exceed his own record for cuteness and winning, "Atleast you're not staying with Chacha." He said with a wry grin.
Gackt nodded furiously, "I'd rather sleep in a box."
Masa giggled, and stood up, "Well....I'd better go get some groceries and stuff.....curry right?"
Gaku's heart fluttered for a second, "You remembered." He muttered.
Masa grinned and made his way to the door, turning back with a strange look in his dark eyes, "Of course I did....."
And then he was gone, leaving Gackt to smile and wonder what the next few weeks would hold....
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