Aishiteru Chapter One:
A GacktXMasaXGackt, GacktXYou, GacktXKami, RenXChacha fic (Poor lil Toshi left out as usual!)
As he walked down the small flight of stairs, congratulatory pats fell on his numb back, words of praise, ringing with admiration jumbled into a chorus almost as deafening as the crowds adoring screams. Backstage was cloaked in shadows, and as the throng of people enclosed his band, Camui Gackt knew he needed to escape.
Camera flashbulbs made the dark recesses of the stage glitter with blinding light, a hundred questions from music magazines and television presenters were aimed at the members of Gackt Job. As usual Ren took centre stage, his chest puffing out in pride as he fielded the shouted pleas for attention with hyperactive glee. Each of the young men had a group of reporters and photographers clustered around them and they seemed quite oblivious as Gackt waved away his professional fans and evaporated into the gloom.
Gackt ran a trembling hand over his forehead, feeling it slide over sodden hair and slick skin. His black t-shirt clung limply to his chest and from the lofty platforms of his shoes the ground hovered hazily beneath.
(Air......I need some fresh air......)
Suddenly the privacy of backstage seemed so contrived, it was too suffocating and Gackt felt his chest begin to tighten, a dull ache spreading across his head. He found the exit and pulled weakly on the door handle, leaving the other Gackt Job members to draw everyone's attention. He could not be seen like this.....appearance was everything.....
(So hot.....)
As he entered the stairwell, hovering at the top of a sharp row of steps that led down to the door. Freedom and fresh air. The world began a downward spiral, and at the edges of his vision darkness crept, he blinked furiously trying to clear the veil over his stinging eyes. The steps seemed so far away, and blurred, like a spoilt watercolour.
(Just a few more paces.......)
Gackt clutched onto the banister tightly, his breath coming in short gasps. with dry lips he cursed the damn platforms he'd chosen that now felt like bricks attached to his aching feet. He vaguely heard the door behind him open with a creak.
"Gaku?"
He turned, barely seeing who it was, his mind past caring and uttered something softly, but it was lost, inaudible as his grip loosened and he went crashing down the stairs.
********************************************************************************
"Gaku?!"
Masa's mouth hung open in horror as he saw the brunette, graceful even in flight, tumble down to the cold tiles below. He winced, thankful that Gackt was unconscious as a harsh crack rang through the dank air.
"......n-no..." He clattered down to the door, nearly tripping himself on the last few steps as he skidded onto the lino beside Gackt's body. The singer lay still, his face leeched of all it's fair colour, lips twisted painfully even in sleep. Masa brought a shaking hand to his mouth, fear and confusion taking over. Gackt's leg was lying at an impossible angle, and a thin trail of blood ran from a cut on his temple.
"Gaku..." Masa pulled him up, his hands as gentle as if he where a newborn child and cradled his head, staring frightenedly down at Gaku's closed eyes, long, dark lashed giving not even a flicker of consciousness.
"SOMEBODY HELP ME!!" Masa felt a scream rip from his lungs, the words forming on his lips before he even comprehended what they were. A few seconds later, the door above was flung open and a familiar face peeked round the frame, eyes wide with apprehension.
"What's wron-" The sentence died, and Ren gasped. You's head appeared above his and he sprung into immediate, logical action. He disappeared.
Ren found himself a moment later and called down to Masa, "We'll call an ambulance, stay with him." He said dully.
Masa nodded, his gaze returning to his fallen friend instantly. Gackt stared back at him and he nearly shot from his skin.
"Gaku?....." He began weakly.
Gackt smiled, thinly disguised pain reaching his eyes, "Damn shoes..."
Masa laughed softly, a hollow sound only to reassure Gackt, to cover his fear lest it infect others, ".....You and Ren-kun have gone for help.....you're gonna be fine......"
Gackt nodded, the dark circles below his eyes becoming now so apparent to Masa, the grit of his jaw alluding to the throb that was coursing down his broken leg.
"I can't afford to be ill....t-the concert..." Gackt trailed off as a fierce ripple of pain ran through him. He felt Masa's arms tighten around him, a hand reaching up to hold his head, fingers running over his still damp hair.
"Shhh.....rest now, the concert can wait." Masa's voice was almost hypnotic, he couldn't be sure if it was the injuries, fatigue or something more.....
".....I...." Gackt sighed, his piercing blue eyes, dulling as they closed. Masa watched him, the gnarled knot of tension constricting in his chest, until he drifted into a dream filled sleep.
************************************************************************************
**He was wearing a costume, something familiar, perhaps from the concert last night, perhaps not..... but the feel of leather, smooth and warm against his skin was true. His thin shirt fluttered in a scented breeze, washed out colours fading into nothing.
He knew this couldn't be another performance though, for he had no microphone, no piano to lovingly caress and produce such music to captivate all who heard it.
Or so they said.....
He smiled, someone was near him, their presence so expected, so wanted that he didn't have to see to know they were there.
Arms wrapped around his waist and he turned, to a face full of bright innocence and a smile that could rouse even his sombre spirits.
"Gaku...." The voice was subtle in it's love, but unmistakable....
Gackt gazed down, his hard eyes softening, meeting the others as he swept the smaller one up into his embrace, their lips touching for the briefest second, it was all they needed.
".....masa-kun....."
"Gaku?"
"ai-ais-...."
"Hey Gaku?"
Gackt opened his eyes, the halogen strips above burning into them. He looked away, raising his hand to shield them and realising it was attached to something, and so heavy....
When it finally became bearable he looked up again, a circle of chairs were huddled round his bed and on each sat a member of his band, all sharing the same concerned expression. Chacha broke first, his lips cracking into a wide grin, "Back with us Gaku. How do you feel?" He asked with almost genuine happiness.
Gackt sat up slowly, his body becoming accustomed to the stillness, the numb feeling that had embedded itself in his legs. "......tired....but okay..." He said experimentally, his tongue thick. He noticed with a slight twinge that Masa was absent, one chair sitting lonely against the wall.
One by one the others offered their pieces, relief now settling over them at the confirmation that Gackt was alright.
And finally, after the conversation ran naturally dry, they left, only the tokens of their sympathy fresh on the bedside cabinet.
Gackt lay back, his body relaxing. It was unusual to be so inactive, he was always rushing somewhere, signing this, opening that, concerts and recordings merging into a whirlwind of months.
He enjoyed it, but deep inside knew that one day the pace would take it's toll and he guessed, with a small laugh that the day had come.
".....um...."
He glanced around the room, not seeing the meek figure by the door until the second sweep. Masa stood in the hall, his eyes downcast as they connected with Gackt's own.
"Masa-kun...come in." He said quietly.
The diminutive guitarist shuffled in unconfidently and pulled up a chair. They sat, silently, for what seemed like a little eternity in the stark hospital room.
"Thankyou." Gackt said eventually. As he had expected Masa's eyebrows shot up and he looked at Gackt with surprise, "F-for what?"
Gackt smiled, warmth seeping into his gaze, "You saved me....if you hadn't followed me I might be....."
A sudden swelling of memory flickered past and Gackt's voice deserted him. A night long ago, finding out that someone you love was taken from you.....and that no matter how long or how hard you cried they'd never return....
With a shake of his head he returned to the present, noting Masa's worried look, "......so thankyou."
A faint tinge of pink blossomed on Masa's cheeks and he smiled back, the old spirit visible once again, "And I bought you something....." He began embarrassedly.
Gackt's brow creased, as Masa produced a box, as if from nowhere and laid it on the sheets before him.
"A present?" He murmured.
Masa nodded, his excitement bouncing off the room's dull walls. Gackt carefully removed the wrapping, loathe to destroy something given to him by someone so....
In the box, under a layer of lilac tissue paper, were a pair of black leather boots, with no heels. Gackt took one into his hand, his fingers tracing the stitching, the curve of the shining toes delicately.
"If you don't like them-"
"They're perfect and you've given me another reason to thank you." Gackt replied dreamily, placing the expensive looking shoes back into their container. Masa's eyes lit up and he heaved an audible sigh of relief.
He had barely opened his eyes when something feather light brushed against his mouth, and as his heart quickened he realised it was Gackt's lips.
"As soon as I can walk I'll try them on." Gackt whispered and then drew back, placing the box onto his already overcrowded cabinet.
Masa nodded, unable to do much other than blink and mumble his goodbyes before running outside.
(This isn't real..........)
He walked in a trance, not feeling the tarmac beneath his feet or the cool winds teasing his dark fringe. The world seemed so far away....and he could only live in one moment for now.....
The sensation relived as he pressed a finger to his lips.
"Gaku......."
**************************************************************************************
