This episode starts out at Skool with Ms. Bitters teaching about civics. A kid is stacking cards on Dib's desk on Ms. Bitters orders, adding a card for the over-worked educational system, and then add the dead weight of students like him. She ends off that lesson by telling them that their whole society is nothing more than a perilous house of cards, (the cards collapse) destined to collapse on it's own weight, then Dib's desk breaks. Ms. Bitters tells Dib that the warrenty on his desk has run out, and to get a replacement desk from the pile. All of the kids desks are some object like a crate, or a tire. She tells them that the desk budget for that year has run out, but the school board has given them a chance to lessen their misery. The lights turn off, and the Poop Dogg comes on the screen, telling them about Poop Bars, the goodness of Poop Cola, wraped up in chocolate. He tells them that every bar they sell wins them prizes, and so for every 100 bars they sell (the sound cuts out and a new voice comes on) they will adheasive medical strips, 1000: crash helmet; 10,000: electro-scooter; 500,000: a hover-craft, plus the helmet, plus a box of adheasive medical strips. All the kids are awed by this, but Zim tells them that it's garbage, the hover-craft is a joke of engineering and the helmet wouldn't protect them from lasers. Poop Dogg comes back on saying that they won't believe the top prize, that it's so cool, it's a secret. Zim gets angry and stands on the desk, demanding the dog-man tell him his secret. Zim is talking to himself, telling him that he must posses the secret prize. Dib asked why they don't take the money that they spent on the candy and use it on the desks, but Ms. Bitters tells him that answer wasn't in the video.
The next morning, people are oustside getting their news, watering their grass, saying hi to the neighboors, and then comes the kids, selling the Poop Candy. The parents start to run in their houses. Zim has made a new disquise for GIR, who is dressed like a little red-headed kid. Zim is telling GIR about the secret prize, how it must be something of un-imaginable power. Dib is telling Zim that he sold a whole box at his dad's lab, and Zim says that it's more proof of the strategic power of the prize, but Dib tells him the only reason he's doing it is to watch Zim fail at something else. Zim looks into his candy box, and Dib knocks the candy into his face, before splashing his Poop that he's drinking into his face. Zim is talking to himself, saying that he can sale candy better than any human, and GIR is asking why Dib's head is so big. Zim tells GIR to follow his lead, and goes up and rings the doorbell. An old woman comes to the door, and he tells her that if she don't buy some candy, his little brother will go insane, and GIR starts breakdancing, and then spins around really fast, making his head pop off. She says that he's worse than she though, buys one, and eats it, and chokse up some of the stuff. Zim notices that she only bought one of those things, and tells GIR that he'll have to try harder.
Zim comes up to another womans door, and she answers, using her baby as a fan. She looks down and screams, slamming the door. Zim and GIR are kind of weirded out by this, but when they turn around, they see the chiwawa, and starts running and screaming. Zim and GIR are failing horribly, and Zim finally passes out from the heat, while GIR jumps into the box and starts eating the candy.
Zim is sitting on the corner where he passes out, comtemplating this, while GIR is still eating the candy. Zim yells at him not to eat that filth, it's the key to the mystery prize. Zim looks up at the sun, saying not even a planet in the solor system has orbited such a horrible star. Suddenly, Poop Dogg comes up and tells him that he will never win the mystery prize. Zim asks him what the prize is, but he says he ain't telling, and Zim starts naming off a whole bunch of things that it could do, but he says that he'll never win the prize. Zim tells him that he'll never give up. Zim picks up GIR and throws him at him, making the Poop Dogg evaporate into Dib. Dib says that defeat has made him crazy. Zim realizes that he has used the tactics of a human fund raisor, but for the last time, and now he's going to use Irken persuasion. GIR screams, "YA! I'M GONNA BE SICK!" and pukes on Zim.
Zim barges in on a family, telling them that they are selling candy, and they are going to buy some, and throws them a couple of bars. The women screams that they don't want any government candy, and Zim says that they do. He takes machine and puts helmets on them, telling them that they are going to see a world in which they will live if they don't buy his delicous treats. The vision is of the Irkens destroying earth, and Zim tells them that all they know and love will lie in ruins. The vision flashes to the skool, destroyed, where a little girl is sitting in a blown up Skool, saying that all she wanted was a school desk of her own, when a giant thing comes and takes her doll away and eats. Zim tells them that it could be prevented if and only if they surrender their money to him and buys their candy. The people tells them that they'll buy his candy if they just stop this horrifying future from evey happening. Zim does it to everyone, even the people that declined him, even having to deliver a truck.
The next day at Skool, there is a jar with a couple dollar bills and some change. Ms. Bitters tells them that their performance was horrible, and that their parents will get phone calls instructing them to love them less. She tells them that in a shocking display of school spirit, Zim has come in first by selling 100 candy bars, and gives him adheasive medical stripes. He tries to rub it in to Zim, but he isn't there. He asks where Zim is, when suddenly the Skool starts to shake. The door bursts open, and tons of money comes spilling in. He tells Dib that he has come, and he has sold over 1.2 million revolting candy units, and he demands the mistery prize from Ms. Bitters. She opens an envelope, and tells Zim that there is no mystery prize, they just made it up so kids can make more money, but as a conselation, he can have some tuna.