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12-21-02 Dear Skitz, Unholy flaming Satan's bowel movements! I can't remember what I did yesterday! All I can remember was that guy from the second floor telling me to stiff some powdered sugar. I have a huge headache now. It hurts like... stuff that hurts! YHAWW!! I'm not going to write much today because I don't feel like doing so because my head is hurting. Actually, I don't think I will write anymore at all. Goodbye, forever Ent 12-20-... Awww... does it really matter, man? I mean, c'mon man, time isn't my boss, ya' dig? Dude... man! Have you ever, like, noticed all the stuff? I mean, just, like, contemplated the existance, of, like, the universe, and stuff? Why, like, chickens lay, like, lay eggs and not, like, people? Why, like, I write with too many, like, commas, fracturing, like, my sentence structure, like, making it all, not good? Dude, rock on? You totally know what I'm talking about? Coo'! Dude, I, like, wrote this poem, about, like, some stuff? Isn't that boss? Yo? Are you dudes and dudettes, like, ready? Okay? Alright! Bongos commence Down by the beach A big yellow helicopter Flies up Out of the sea A breeze of cool tropical iced tea Flows through her sun bleached hair As I walk toward the helicopter The sky It greens And florishes into the many suns of daughters of the earth Mother nature Spreading her wings Making her roots deeper Until the axe of man cuts her down Giving no life to the helicopter With the sun bleached hair Never giving her a chancing to live You've caged her In the night she takes the nightgown And gazing up the sullen moon she questions: The fires of Mother Earth Hold up the branches for the sea of blades Every house and home Youth and old Many of those who Interfere with the Games of the mighty Hold up the braches for the sea of blades Turning up their theivery and heading south Behold! Eternal! Give all you can be Interfere with the ways of the helicopter And feel for all of the earth and the girl with the Necklace and the Tainted glass and the Sun bleached hair Fin Dude, like, that was awesome? Truely one of my, like, better workings? It, like, expresses just the way, I, like, fee?l Ya, know? Totally! ROCK ON! Dude 12-19-02 Dear Skitz, There once was a girl named Monkey Who always danced and got funky But one day she 'sploded and then she imploded What other word rhymes with monkey? Man, I'm so cool! Ent 12-18-02 Dear Skitz, ARGH! THIS IS CRAZY! INSANE! WAFALOOBO! LOCO! WHAT IS WAFALOOBO??? I made the the biggest mistake of my entire existance. I don't know why I did it even though I swore never to do it again. It has scarred me. I shall never recover from the horrors that I experienced today... I went back to MacDonald's... Sure, it seemed innocent enough. "Maybe I'm overreacting," I said. "Maybe I just went there on a bad day," I said. But I was wrong. So very wrong. I escaped and was rolling down the snowy hills over and over again until I decided that I was hungry. The closest place was MacDonald's. After a short inner struggle whether or not to return to that wretched place, I decided that it couldn't be nearly as bad as the first time. How very wrong I was. I walked in casually enough and stood in line patiently<\i> for several minutes. I got up to the counter and ordered my burger. All was going well. I gave them my money (which I stole from some old lady somewhere, I don't remember when exactly...) and they gave me my food. But then I asked for some extra ketchup... "You mean... FANCY KETCHUP?" the man behind the counter said with a sadistic glee. "No," I said, "just regular ketchup." "We don't have that," he said, grinning a toothy demented smile that tore my soul like an empty can of pudding. "We only gots FANCY kind." I took the fancy kethcup and opened the package. I sniffed it, tasted it, listened to it, rubbed it between my fingers and examined it closely with my eyes, but I didn't see any difference at all. It smelled the same! It tasted the same! It even had the same vicosity. "This is no different that regular ketchup," I said. Suddenly, everyone behind the counter stopped whatever they were doing to look at me. Their pupils faded, and their eyes clouded over, making them look zombie-like. Their mouths hung open, some of them hissed, others made ghostly sounds. The man giving me service jumped up onto the counter and crouched down like a cat ready to pounce. "Kill the non-believer!" they all began chanting. "The fancy ketchup IS different!" the crouching man growled. "Throw him in the dungeon so we can EAT HIM LATER!!!" At this point I was blinking rapidly and did the only thing I could think of doing. I ripped the spork necklace that the crouching man was wearing off of his neck and ran out the door. I never looked back, but I could hear them behind me, their feet hitting the ground rapidly. It sounded as though an entire group of horses were chasing me. "He STOLE it from us!" the man screamed. "MY PRECIOUS!!! GIVES US BACKS OUR PRECIOUS!!!" And I ran all the way back here. I discarded the spork in a wastebasket downstairs when I snuck in. So here I am, never ever returning to the Satanicness that is MacDonald's. Good gravy! Ent 12-17-02 Dear Skitz, Edwardo finally came back today. He said he had to go find soup if stupid Artemis wasn't going to give him any. I found this really small door in the northwest corner of my cell (still the maximum sercurity cell). The door wasn't but a few inches high. I opened it and out popped Satan. We had a bit of a conversation, and then I stole Satan's wallet, he left, I laughed at the photographs of his children, and then all was well. He left and closed the door behind him. He also said something about how the emu was going to take this place over or something unimportant like that. Artemis has been awfully slow lately. He must be getting old. It's odd though, he's only in thrities. I mean, he's SLOW! SLOW SLOW SLOW! Like a... animal... that's slow!!! Bye! Ent 12-16-02 Dear Skitz, This is going to be very brief; I need to take my monthly shower! Wow... I really like cheese! Ent 12-15-02 Dear Skitz, Seasons greetings! Yes, I know I haven't written in a bit, so you can be quiet. Edwardo is still missing. I think he might have found some lady friends; that's how long he's been gone... AND WHY DIDN'T HE BRING ME BACK ANY OF THEM?!?!?!???? Oh well, I'm sure he's in a better place... like a dance club or something like that. Christmas is such a nice time of the year! All the stress of getting people presents and shopping for others, but for me, Christmas is nothing! WE DON'T DO ANYTHING HERE! Personally, I think it's wonderful. I really truely do. I had to read Harper Lee's To Kill A Mockingbird. All these characters and all these things going on. The cheese is more important than this! Anyway, I had to write a paper on it and I just got it back today. MisInformation put some mysterious letter on the front... I think it stood for "FANTASTIC!" but I can't be completely sure... darn mystery "F" marking... Artemis took more of my drawings and the paper I was just telling you about! DARN HIM!!!!! POOOOOOOP! With nothing else to say, Ent |
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