This is the area that I post the weird shit I think of or see. It's fucked up. It also includes links to sites I enjoy. Click here for the links.
This is my opinion on....
Homies & Skaters
Well I can sum up a skaters and Homies in 1 sentance. Complete tools. Not even the word tool is good enough to be associated with them. These people must have some sort genetic defect that makes them so dense and crap they need to be rebels and skate as a means of life. A homie is noticable by the baggy pants that have a crotch close to there knees, Then there is the dopey belt they have to keep them up which also hangs down to the knees, Next comes the cap that has to be worn backwards and the shoes have to be ankle height with a skater brand name on it eg: Converse, After that to match the shoes are the brand name cloths and chains attatched to there wallet so no one will steel there crap when they stuff up a trick like they always do. And finally the skate board is needed to be a skater although some skaters/homies may argue that you can be a skater without a skateboard. Now I have a theory that to become a skater you must first become a homie. Like a type of trial thing. This is backed up by the fact that if your a skater you wear homie clothes as described above. Now who ever invented and produced the following toy should be shot. The Teckdeck. What a waste of time and money. It's like an undersized toy for a 5 year old. With it's little tools including a spanner, wrench and spare wheels the Techdeck makes an ideal waste of money that nobody should have. But no. Skaters can't be complete without one. That just wouldn't be common sence. Homies/skaters will usually be the ones who get into fights due to there childish insluts, play manner and hormone rushes. The percentage of homies that smoke is about 90% and they usually hang out in groups or more than 1 and pick fights with other less defenceless people that have weak defence and can't fight back. The groups are there because one homie can't pick and win a fight all on his own. They can pick it but to hell if they can win so thats the reasons for the groups, intimidation and a shitty back-up, if needed. If you were to fight with a homie and beat him as you would expect then usually his other homie people/followers will attempt to beat the crap out of you and since there is about 10 of them and one of you than you are pretty much screwed. One thing that I don't get is female homies. Ok if there are females and they skate, wear the clothes and look funny then thats up to them but some act like guys. They walk around like a guy and totally unfeminen and think they are some type of god and you should bow down to them. Pfft yeh ok. I think if they could remove there tits to be more of a guy, they would. Well thats about all I have to bitch about for now on skaters but I will proberly type more later.
Note: This isn't a world classification of homies and skaters. This is a classification of the "posers" at Kalamunda SHS (KSHS). I understand that homie and skaters around the world are different to KSHS's "type". I mean my school was fucked so the homies and skaters are too.
The alternate reality (What was I on when I wrote this?)
In Simon's alterative reality there would be no such thing as skating and homie's. It would be a world full of things I like such as me and well mostly me, a few of the associates I have, more of me and legalised prostitution...um?? may be you should forget the last one. From your point of view you most likely are thinking "Hummm.. This is a fucked up world!" BUT when you come to live in the world of Simon you will see it is much more of a fucked up world than you thought. I mean come on. I can't vacuum my room so what chance do we have or the wheel being invented and having fire. Absolute zilch! So my idea now is to forget about the world I could create that would be so great and continue living in the hole we have now.
Tool Sim
Ok so I said it would be fucked up, and it is. This is Simon Colwill (Tim's brother) being...well, pretty gay. He's in his kitchen playing with cups, and most proberbly himself too.
After being a tool once you think he would learn, but no. Simon Colwill again prooves that dumb-asses exist. Here he is again being over-protective, of himself. I'd hate for him to be that protective of me if I was his child. Better still, I'd hate to be his child. But really, look at the photo, what a toss-off! He's got the big fake ears, red glasses, the pants at his chest height, infinant amounts of knee and arm pads on, a dustpan broom as a weapon and too top it all off. A tea cosi for a hat. What an ass. By the way. The dogs only there by accident but we belive he was going to have sex with it before we sprung him with a camera.
Nerd Description NERD: What a fucker. Well I personally think this retarded specimen of pathetic shitheadedness is well and truly fucked in the head. GodDAMN that kids a tool.
What other no-life dickhead would bother researching the various special attacks used in STREET FIGHTER EX2. A complete, total and utter knob end who nobody likes and will probably never score with any sober person. No, make that definitely not score with any sober person or animal. In fact animals are probably the only thing this fuckers ever gonna get a bang out of and only then if he's very fuckin lucky. Gee, what a tosser. Words cannot begin to describe how much of a total wanker this guy is. A stale cheese sandwich could outwit this fucknut in a battle of wits any day. The english language, complete with all of it's descriptive adjectives could simply not even comprehend how much of a complete and utter dickless jerk-off this fucked-up walking terd is. Phew.
This description was kindly provided by Tim Colwill.
