Chapter Four: Bunnies, Rainbows, and Black Paint

*“You know, before you go throwing paper around, you should look to see where it’s going to land.” Said the smirking blonde woman before him.

“Hnn.”

“My, my, my. Aren’t you rude?”

“Hnn.”

“Well, that’s fine. Be your rude self. They’ll only think it’s part of your mental problem, and add it to the long list of things they want to cure your of.”

“Hnn.”

“I really don’t like you.”

“You don’t have to.”

“Shut up and stay out of my face you psycho.” She muttered, rolling her eyes. She’d give him once last chance to respond decently.

“Hnn.”

“A grunter. Very well.” Serena narrowed her eyes at him and glared darkly. He’d lost his chance. “Watch your back creep.” Hiiro raised his eyebrows. She was telling him to watch his back? It was almost ironic. He was constantly watching his front, back, and sides anyway, not to mention did she really think she could do something to hurt him? She was a weak little girl; there was no possible way she could do anything. But when he felt her eyes still blazing, molten pits of sapphire eating into his face, he knew she was a lot more unpredictable than he thought.

“Serena?” A nurse tapped Serena on her shoulder. Hiiro almost heaved a sigh of relief. She had stopped looking at him! Thank God!

“What are you up to?” The nurse went on, trying to act interested in Serena’s work. She picked up on the syrupy voice immediately. Looking up briefly, Serena examined the nurse. She must have been new- the other nurses knew to keep their distance and not to baby her. Or else.

“Look. I know when I’m being patronized and I don’t like it. Either back off, or pay the consequences.”

“Pay the consequences?” The nurse laughed. “Oh dear, don’t you worry about the consequences! Now, show me what you’ve done!”

“Ok!” Serena’s dark face became very cheerful. Hiiro looked up hearing her voice change tones and watched. “Well, see, I’m a painter. I like to paint lots of happy things, like bunnies and rainbows, and bunnies jumping over rainbows! But I’m just not very talented.” Now Hiiro’s gaze shifted to Serena’s canvas. It was painted all black- no color what so ever. He vaguely wondered if she was a schizophrenic person, and this was a new personality. It would certainly explain her sudden mood swings.

“I think you’re very talented! I can really see the horses and rainbows. And is that a flower?” The nurse asked patiently with a smile that must have been making her face numb.

“Why, yes, it is a flower!” Serena jumped up and down, giggling and clapping. “I’m so glad you noticed! Do you see the sun too?”

“Sun?”

“Oh yes! Look closer! It’s in there!” Serena nodded smiling. As the nurse leaned in to look harder at the all black for the sun, Serena stepped behind her.

“Or didn’t you see it behind the crossbones and death threats?” Leaning over and whispering loudly in the nurse’s ear, Serena made sure her voice became dark again. Then she grabbed one of the plastic containers of black paint on the table beside her and dumped it atop the nurse. A loud, frightened wail erupted and the pale nurse covered in black paint stepped back from the canvas and looked at Serena with confusion and fear evident in her expression.

“I told you- consequences. You should really think before you act.” Serena chirped, smiling sweetly.

“What’s going on… oh no, not another one!” A new nurse rushed into the art room. She was taller than the other one, with big, broad shoulders and a barrel chest. At best one could have described her as big, and at worst she could be described as a man. As the new nurses stepped between Serena and the paint-splattered woman, Serena growled, smile fading as quickly as it had appeared.

“And here I thought I was rid of you for a few days.”

“Nice try Serena. You won’t be rid of me for quite a while if you keep this behavior up. Anger management is key to getting yourself on the right track.”

“I forgot.” Serena rolled her big, blue eyes.

“You seem to forget an awful lot.”

“Look here, Big Berga. If you’re going to have new nurses come into this godforsaken nuthouse to care for us certified loons, you should warn them about each of us and our conditions before they go messing about. Your stupid new nurse didn’t know how to butt out- much less how to stop patronizing when asked politely. She got what she deserved, end of story.”

“There was no need to go overboard. Telling another nurse would have been just fine. And my name, Serena, is not ‘Big Berga’. I have told you time and time again not to use that nickname- it confuses some of the other patients.”

“So sorry, Nurse Berga.”

“Bertha.” The nurse narrowed her eyes, and Serena narrower hers. A staring contest ensued for a few moments, before the nurse pulled out. “This is ridiculous. I’m the nurse, and you are the patient. I shouldn’t have to be arguing with you Serena.”

“Yes you should. Otherwise I would be cured, and you could send me home.”

“But we want you to be cured. We want to send you home.”

“Bull. You want to keep me locked up so you can milk my God-awful whore of a mother for money.”

“You are pushing the line Serena. Do you really want to be confined to your room?”

“Confine me. I always get out. Face it, Big Berga: there isn’t anything you can do to stop me. You can try all you want, but you’ll never break me.”

“That’s it Serena. I’m confining you for the rest of the night, and you have to eat twice your normal rations for dinner.” For once, Serena stopped. Her mouth remained closed, and two male nurses grabbed her arms gently to lead her out of the room.

“That girl… she causes more problems than a national disaster. Are you alright?” The burly nurse asked the other nurse, who was now trying to wipe the paint off of her face.

“Yes, thank you. I was only trying to be supportive of her artwork. We were taught to be that way, and it never hurt before…”

“Usually that is the case. But Serena… she’s in a league all her own.”

“But she seems so normal. She obviously is a very social girl, and so pretty…”

“Social, yes. Pretty, yes, the girl’s gorgeous by most standards. But she’s worse than Shakespeare’s shrew in disposition.”

“What made her this way? Is she a schizophrenic, or is it a result of her past?”

“The doctors still aren’t sure. While she loves to argue, Serena becomes tight-lipped during doctor visits apparently. She hasn’t spoken more than one or two helpful sentences in the three months she’s been here. But I get the feeling it’s her past. She’s an anorexic bulimic too. It’s the only threat that works in her- the threat of more food.”

Hiiro listened to the two nurses as they spoke in hushed tones in the corner of the art room. Wasn’t it dangerous to a person’s psyche to be threatening them the way they were threatening Serena? By forcing her to eat more and knowing she hated it, what made them think she would want to eat again outside of the asylum? And wasn’t that their ultimate goal? To make a person like that girl fit for society outside of these damned white walls?

“You must be our new addition, Hiiro Yui.” He refocused. The nurse Serena had nicknamed ‘Big Berga’ was standing in front of him, hands on her hips.

“Yes.”

“Well. I’m sorry about that display, but I’m afraid I’ll have to warn you, we have one or two of those kinds of incidents a day around here. We would move you to a different art class, but you’ll only end up seeing it another place anyway.”

“Doesn’t seeing her get upset bother the other patients; the ones less stable than she is?”

“Once or twice.” Bertha frowned. Hiiro Yui was a perceptive man. Why was he here? She would have to remember to read through his record closely… “But each time we’ve been able to calm them down. We don’t put Serena with groups of our patients that can’t handle outbursts like that. In fact, the majority of this class right now all have anger management problems, just like Serena, so most of them are understanding of the outbursts.”

“And having all of the angry patients together doesn’t cause a riot?” Hiiro narrowed his eyes. He had always thought that one bad seed would set off a whole chain of bad events.

“N, No.” Bertha narrowed her eyes to match his. “Mr. Yui, you seem quite coherent and you have an acute sense of detail. Why are you here?”

“Anger management.”

“I see.” She hadn’t expected that. Looking down at her watch indiscreetly, she sighed. “Well, art is over. Dinner is in an hour. I’ll see you then. Have a nice afternoon.”

“Yeah.” He forced himself not to grunt… he couldn’t let them think he was more antisocial then he was- that he was more of a failure than he was.

Hiiro stood from the studio stool he had been perched on and ripped the drawing of his original Gundam out of the sketchbook. No evidence…And he ripped it in half, then into fourths, then eights, and then threw it into the garbage.

>>>)(<<<

Serena rolled her eyes and blew her bangs out of her face. She was going to get out one of these days. She hated this… hated being confined. These people had no goddamned idea. None. Pieces of lying, lazy, sacks of crap. They should have left her there. The cops should have left her lying on that floor… then she wouldn’t have to be dealing with this.

She was a failure. A real one. She had failed at staying thin, failed at keeping a boyfriend, failed at school, failed at family, failed at life. And then she failed at death! It was laughable! Lord! And people wondered why she was unhappy. If they had failed as many times at as many things as she had, they would be depressed too.

They had no fucking right to decide what she did with her life! If they cared so much about helping her, if God cared so damn much, why hadn’t he helped her before her life had gotten so screwed up? He was lazy? He didn’t care? Well, that much was obvious. No one really cared. If God had cared, why had he made he so fat?

One hundred and four pounds! She had gained nearly seven pounds in the last four weeks. It really made her sick, the way these people force-fed her. She wanted to throw up. But if she did that, they’d go back to watching her constantly, leaving a guard at her door to watch her as she slept, and probably even the liquid food, which was force than being force-fed the solid crap.

So she would play along with these sick freaks. Then why they released her, she’d hightail it the hell away. Somewhere she couldn’t be found. Her mother wouldn’t miss her- hell, she was surprised her whore of a mother had cared enough to call the bloody cops the first time. It wasn’t like she had been stealing her mother’s dust again- she hadn’t done that in years- it didn’t give her the same high, so why should she waste her time with it?

It was all so useless. If she could have a chance, go back and do it again, she wouldn’t fail. Not this time, Lord no! Not again! She’d learned her lesson. No, no, this time she would go out in style, and she would succeed. But she would have to wait a little longer. Just a little longer, until she could get out of this nut house.

After all: she wasn’t crazy. She was healthy as a horse.