Chapter Ten: Vindicated Justice

 

            *“No! No! Please don’t! No! Stop! Don’t touch me! Urahh!!” He shot up from his peaceful rest to find Serena fighting invisible enemies. She was kicking her covers off the bed and slamming her fists down onto the mattress below her sweat covered and convulsing body. His door was thrown open by his friends as all four of them stared into the room at what was happening.

            “It’s alright, she’s dreaming. I’ll take care of it. Go back to sleep.” He told his friends. They looked at him dubiously, then turned and shut the door behind them. They didn’t want to argue; it was too late. Hiiro got up and moved to the side of Serena’s bed. Shaking her gently, she shot up in bed, eyes and mouth wide open and breathing heavily.

“Serena?” He called to her through her heavy panting. “Serena, calm down, it was just a dream. It wasn’t real. Relax, you’re here, safe with me.”

“Hiiro?” She was barely able to whisper.

“Yeah, it’s me.”

“Oh Stars… oh stars… oh!” She cried in a louder and more rasping voice.

“What happened? What did you dream?” He probed her.

“I… I… I dreamt He came… oh stars! I dreamt He came and you weren’t here- no one was here- and he was so mad! He took his strap and he started, oh stars!” She broke down sobbing violently. She covered her face with her hands and just bawled her heart out.

Not knowing what else he could do, Hiiro pulled her into his chest and held her while shed cried. He himself felt tears welling up in his own eyes. The difference between hers and his was that his were for her, and hers were for fear. He wondered who ‘He’ was. Taking that he already knew about her home life, she assumed ‘He’ was her father. The strap she described stumped him. Well, he wanted to start with something he knew…

“Serena, your father can’t hurt you. You’re safe here with me. He can’t get you. And if he comes, I’ll get rid of him.” He vowed. It did no good.

“You don’t understand! He’s too strong! And you weren’t here! Stars, you weren’t here Hiiro!”

“But I’ll be here when he really does come.” He promised her.

“How do you know? How do I know? You could leave me! You could just get up and walk away, leaving me all alone like in my dream! Leave me alone! I can’t trust you! I can’t trust anybody!” She drew away from him like her with death himself. She couldn’t let anybody in, she couldn’t tell anybody. If she did, they would use it against her. They would hate her! No, she couldn’t!

“I’m not going to leave you!” His voice rose with each sentence he said to her. How could he make her understand that he loved her? That he would never leave her? Ever!

“No! No! You will! You will just like in my dream! I have to finish this once and for all!” She screamed in a blind rage. She knew what she was going to do. She had the answer now. It was all so clear, so crystal clear as to what she had to do. Bolting from her bed and not stopping for shoes, pants, or any other articles of clothing she might need to walk around on the streets at midnight, she ran out of the apartment, leaving Hiiro stunned behind her.

She was gone. Shit! She was gone! She would probably try something just as stupid as what she had tried earlier the day before. He had to stop her! Pulling on a pair of jeans and a white tank top, he grabbed his black leather jacket and raced out the door behind her. Where was she going though? He took a wild guess and hoped he was right. Racing down the street, he never even turned around when he heard his friends asking where he was going or what was happening, he just ran.

>>>)(<<<

Up the darkened stairs and through the dirty door she burst. The room radiated a foul stench; her dried blood had left the smell of death and decay behind as a marker of her insanity. But the smell didn’t matter. She ran directly towards the kitchen, towards the refrigerator, and took from the very back of the frig a cold object. Running her hand lightly over it, she shivered in delight. It would end here and now. No more running, no more being afraid, no more forgiveness. It was time. She began a search for them. No more, it would end tonight. Voices came from their bedroom.

“Here the little whore is.” A loud and dark shout rained down upon her sensitive ears. “Where’ve you been bitch? Come here you dirty little tramp!” Her father walked out of his bedroom. Behind him was her mother.

“Hey whatever your name is! Girl! You left a mess on the floor in the bathroom! Didn’t I potty train you bitch? What the hell did you go and mess on the floor for? Trashy slut! You out sleeping around again? You better be getting paid at the least. Support you’re parents, we’re the ones who raised you good- for- nothing little hoe! You should give us some fucking respect bitch!” Her mother screamed.

“Shut up bitch! I’ll handle her!” He father barked at her mother.

“You! Ha! You couldn’t handle a cat! You’re just as bad as her, pimping about those fucked up bars!”

“Whore! I just told you to shut up!” Her father backhanded her mother against the wall.

“Stop it.” Her voice was quiet. They ignored her as they continued to fight and more violence was used. She would end this here. “Stop it!” She screamed as loudly as she could.

“Bitch! Haven’t I taught you-” Her father began only to be cut off.

“You haven’t taught me shit! You haven’t taught me shit! I’ve taught myself everything I know! I learned how to eat solid food when I was only one year old! I dressed myself when I was two, and I tied my shoes when I was two and a half. I walk to school and I walk home. I get straight A’s, I do my chores, I’m part of the school gym team. I put you in bed when you pass out, I let you beat me, I let you fucking rape me! You’ve raped your own fucking daughter! Aren’t you proud you son of a bitch? You bastard of a mother? Aren’t you proud parents? Huh?” She ranted, eyes red with rage and hatred. She took out her secret weapon. The cool metal glinted in the flickering lights of the apartment.

“Now Se… Se… Damn.” Her mother started.

“Serena! My name is Serena! I’m your own child! You flesh and blood! I live with you! And you can’t remember my name! Some parents. You know I tried to kill myself? Because of you! Well no more! You can’t push me around anymore! I’ve had it!”  She took the safety off the silver handgun and took aim.

“Serena! Of course! Serena baby! I knew that! We both did! Come on baby! Put that gun down honey! Let’s talk about this calmly sweetheart.” Her mother pushed her.

“Your mother’s right. Come on Serena! You know we love you! We would never do anything to hurt you on purpose! Never! Come on baby!” Her father cooed. Serena faltered. They loved her? She had always wished, always prayed, always dreamed of her parents loving her. She would do anything for their praise, for them to just once ask her how school was, even if they didn’t stay to listen to her answer. And now they said they loved her! Her dream come true!

“Momma? Papa?” Her voice was small and meek.

“Yes baby, it’s us honey.” Her mother sweet-talked her. Serena clicked the safety back on the gun and dropped it.

“Momma!” she ran towards her mother and was received by cold arms encircling her. She didn’t see her father dive for the gun after she dropped it. What she did feel was her mother pushing her out of the hug in pure disgust.

“Momma?” She whispered.

“ You ever call me that again and I swear to hell I’ll hit you so hard you won’t wake up ever!” Her mother screamed at her. Serena drew back in fear of the hatred in her mother’s voice.

“How dare you think you can hold us hostage! Why I ought to… no, I got a better idea! Bitch!” Her father roared and punched her. She stumbled backwards into the wall and saw a dark shadow loom over her. All she knew was pain as he began to hit her. He punched her stomach, her chest, slapped her face, kicked at her, and spat on her. Suddenly a gun was pointed at her.

“Let me just get rid of her! She’s a fucking annoying bugger!” Her mother screamed.

“No! I want to have my fun with her first!” Her father bellowed.

“We should just get it done now!” Her mother insisted. While her parents fought, Serena collected herself and saw the gun in her mother’s hand. Would they say they loved her again if she held it at them? She wanted them to love her so badly… She lunged for the gun and pulled her mother down with her. A brief struggle and Serena came out victorious. Though she had taken a bad beating, her stamina from gymnastics won over her mother’s drugged and permanently screwed body. She stood and held the gun proudly pointing at her parents.

“I win! Momma! Papa! I win! Tell me you love me! Now that I have the gun, are you proud? I’ve got it! I’ve won! Say you’re proud! Love me momma! Love me papa!”

“We love you Serena!” They cried over and over, begging her to put the gun back down.

“Don’t listen to them Serena.” A dark voice wafted form the shadows. “They’ll say anything to make you put the gun down.”

“But they said they loved me Hiiro! They love me when I have the gun! They love me!” She cried, tears streaming down her face. Her body silently shuddered, and convulsed as she cried.

“They don’t love you Serena. They’ll hurt you once you don’t have the gun.” Hiiro’s voice came in firm and even.

“But they said they love me!” Serena told him, imploring him to understand.

“They don’t. They don’t know how to love anything but themselves. Hell, they can’t even love that. Serena, they’re dangerous people that can’t love. It isn’t in their hearts.”

“They said…”

“Do you really believe them? After all they’ve done to you? They have black hearts. Yours is too pure. Don’t let them corrupt you anymore.” He stepped forward and held out his hand. She hung her head.

“But I want them to love me.” She told him quietly.

“Why? Why are they so important to you?” He asked her, just as quietly.

“They’re my parents. I just want them to love me. I want someone to love me! Anyone!” She screamed out. “Hell! I know you’re right. I know it. But I can’t accept it! I want to feel love! I don’t want to feel so empty anymore. I just want… I want to feel safe, cared for, needed, important. I’m tired of being used and then shoved in a corner; or brushed aside when someone else comes along. I just want the emptiness, the loneliness, the pain in my heart to go away. Please. Hiiro, make it go away.” Her screaming had climaxed and then gone done to nothing but a whisper. She dropped the gun. “I need help. I need an angel. I need faith, I need a miracle…” She finished. Turning her back to all three people that occupied the room, she simply walked out as smoothly as she had walked in. Looking out the window, Hiiro saw her walk down the street, still only clothed in his white dress shirt. He turned to her parents and gave them a good, long, and hard look.

“If you ever so much as look at her again, I swear by God I will kill you. You’ve destroyed a beautiful, caring, charming young woman. You ought to be killed, turned into the authorities. You ought to have some form of punishment for the intolerable sins you’ve committed. You ought to.” He was desperately trying to hold back the rage he was overwhelmed with at that moment.  “But Serena wouldn’t allow it. So this is my warning. Touch her, talk to her, look at her, and so help me God I will slit your throats in such a painful way you’ll wish you were already in hell, which by the way,  is where you will be going after you die.” Giving them one last death glare, he turned on his heels and abruptly left the scene.

She had said she needed an angel. She needed faith, and a miracle. Where did one go to find… he knew. He knew where she was. Picking up he pace as he went, he cursed himself for forgetting he owned a car. Finally he arrived at his destination.

 Running up the giant stone steps in the rain, he looked up. Above him loomed giant carvings of gargoyles and angels. As he entered the giant wooden doors, he slowed his pace. Walking down the center aisle of the church, he took in the scene.

It was perhaps the single most beautiful church he had ever entered. The wooden pews were almost empty; only a few devout men and women speckled them. There was an older priest garbed in a plain black robe approaching him, and it made him feel as if he had stepped into a time warp.

“Good evening my son. Is there a way the word of our Father might warm your soul upon this dreary evening?” The priest asked him kindly.

“I’m looking for a girl. She was wearing a white men’s dress shirt and nothing else. Have you seen her?” Hiiro asked the priest, somewhat calmed by the entire atmosphere of the church.

“I have. I offered her a blanket, but she refused. She had been beaten something fierce. Might you know what happened?” The priest narrowed his eyes slightly.

“Her parents happened. I need her. Where is she?” Hiiro practically begged the priest. The priest’s eyes went wider for a moment, then shrank and he smiled a knowing smile.

“Your runaway angel is over by the candle corner.” The priest pointed to a deepened corner near the alter. Hiiro could see a bright light illuminating the corner, but he could not see inside.

“Thank you.” He told the priest as he made his way back over towards Serena. He found he lighting one of the many candles that were set out on a table. Then she knelt on the cool tiled floor and bowed her head. He could see her hands clasped together and eyes closed as she prayed.

“What are the candles for?” He broke the silence. She flipped her head toward him, surprised. He always knew where to find her. ‘It must have been a skill they taught him as a Gundam pilot.’ She thought.

“They’re for prayers. I light a candle for each prayer I say.” She told him gently.

“They’re all lit. Did you light them all?”

“Yes.” She told him.

“What did you pray for Serena?”

“For love. I want it all to go away Hiiro, all this emptiness. I just want some one to banish it. I want someone who will love me. I want… I want the unattainable feelings of safety, happiness, and wholeness. I don’t want to be alone anymore.”

“You aren’t. Serena, let me help you.”

“How? How can you do that? Like I said, I’ve wished for the unattainable. Who could possibly love me? My own parents have defiled me beyond belief. My father raped me Hiiro, raped me! Who could possibly love someone as impure as me?”

“Because you’re so sweet. Serena, you’re kind, generous to a fault, always cheerful in school, smart, funny, fun to be around, absolutely breathtakingly beautiful, and the list goes on. If someone loves you only for your body, then they don’t love you.”

“You’re just saying all of that. How could you possibly know?” A lone tear trickled down her cool and pale face. He bent in and softly kissed it away. Then leaning into her ear, she shivered as jolts of electricity shot through her. Her spine shivered and her heartbeat raced faster than ever before.

“Because. I love you.” He whispered into her ear. “You’re not alone anymore Serena. I want to help you, keep you safe. I want to make you happy and whole. Let me?” More tears trickled down her face. The feelings running through her head and heart were to jumbled to understand. She didn’t know why. She didn’t know how. She just knew.

“Yes.” She told him under her breath. Turning her face to look directly at his, her eyes were trapped by his gaze. She saw nothing but a shine of happiness. He too, had tears trickling down from his sapphire eyes. The endless and bottomless pits they had once been were spilling over full of love and joy, all for her. She gave a short laugh.

He encircled her with his arms and pulled her onto his lap, holding her close; afraid that if he let go she would disappear into nothingness. He was no longer the only one who felt alone, the only one who had been abused, then only one searching for someone to love. There were two of him, and they had found each other. Pulling away from her hug, they looked into each other’s eyes again. She leaned in and, mimicking his earlier movements, kissed his tears into oblivion. He too,  laughed. Snaking his hands around to the back of her head, he brought her head back down closer to his and enticed her sweet lips with his tempting kisses. Their short and innocent kisses grew into more passionate ones, and soon enough they both found it was far too hot in the church for both of them to continue in their position. He stood and helped her to do the same.

“We should get those bruises looked at.” He told her gently, caressing her soft but discolored cheek. She leaned into his callous hands and drew from their warmth.

“I’ve had worse. They’ll be fine, just as we will be.” She smiled brightly at him. He smiled back, and quickly kissed her on the forehead.

“We have school in three hours you know.” She told him laughing.

“We won’t be going today. You and I are stealing Quatre’s credit card.”

“Why? Won’t he be mad?” She asked him confused and slightly concerned.

“You need some clothes. You can’t go back home, and five guys don’t exactly have any girl’s clothing lying around. Well, Duo might, but…” He joked. It felt good to let his emotions out so easily. She, to, laughed when she heard his comment. Everything was going to be better. Everything would work out, now she was sure. The loneliness was gone, the only thing left of her battered life  were memories, but they would be just like every other bad thing… they would fade with time.*