Goodbye

The blade glistens in the light…
I run my finger along its sharpness…
A trickle of blood grows on my finger…
And I imagine the blood growing on my wrists…
The blood a dark red…
It glistens like no other…
As I take the knife in my hand…
I feel the blood on my finger…
Silky but yet sticky…
Then I bring the knife to my wrist…
I cut my wrist and a thin line of dark red appears…
The sharpness is soothing…
I am entranced by the color of blood…
In a haze I cut my other wrist…
I sit there dazed staring at my bloody hands and wrists…
I start to feel dizzy and this is welcoming…
The dizziness comes harder and faster…
I lay down because I am starting to feel weak…
I hear my mom calling I try to speak but no words come out…
I hear her say my name and I try to say “I love you”…
It hurts to talk…
I hear those three words but they have no more meaning to me any more…
Please don’t cry mom…
I will always love you…
Please forgive me mom…
I am getting weaker…
My breathing harder than the last…
Daddy, I will be home soon…
I see a tunnel…
I see my dad…
Daddy, I hear myself say…
He don’t seem to answer…
I feel my mom holding my head in her lap…
Mom, I am sorry…
I feel my last breath coming as I hear her say “its okay”…