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Deceitful Love Everyone’s been dying to know haven’t they? And I’ve made sure they’ve been buried before they get even a glimpse at my thoughts on my rogue childer. A few things need to be said about Elizabeth. She is brave, headstrong and she’s righteous… she’s a survivor, just like her daddy dearest and she’ll always scrap through just like a fucking cockroach. But she’s naïve and her righteousness will be her downfall, where does she get off telling me how to live? I do not understand how she can try to restrict me to the rules of her petty mortal world when I exist in a plain she couldn’t begin to fathom. Worst of all Lizzy’s heart lies to her, it lies to me, I can feel it pumping the deceit through her body and into my mind and it sickens me. See her heart is a wolf in sheep wool silently stalking her own body, I want to laugh but I know that lies are what will destroy my peach. She thinks that she cares for me, but she doesn’t, her love towards me is a fraud and even though she thinks it exists I know that it is merely a charade like the ones those fool vampires play on the mortals. Her love if there is fleeting, and I know this because anyone that cares about me, would not let my blood, my grandchildren, associate with those whores related to Ricki and Illiessa. How could she think that the greatest bane in my life could be suitable for my kin? It started with her love and it continues with her love and her own deceit.

But through the lies I realise that she is my daughter, my flesh and my blood and since I am unable to create anymore off spring, I must love her with the little love I have. And everyday that she continues to exist and try to build a family without me it gets stripped away from my soul. The way that she makes my grandchilder fear and hate me creates a fury in my bowels that only resembles that of her original sins, but that is also fleeting because I don’t have the energy to attach myself to something so stupid as love. But my masters as my witnesses know that I love her and she is perhaps a weakness of mine, not that anyone could exploit that weakness because when it all comes down to it, nothing can defeat me and I will protect her at any cost. I love her; her magnificence continues to draw me in every time I see her. The way she has grown since I embraced her makes me proud and it pains me at the same time, she has strayed from my path, preferring the fragility of a pursuit in purity than the strength in the darkness that I have found. And I would wish for nothing more on this earth than to have her by my side, but a mirror image of myself with all her qualities, stripped of her virtue and morality and delivered to my arms to be reborn a part of the evil that reigns free within my body. Because ever since I created her, and as much as she tries to stray, she has been following a path that I have already walked in my own life, I’m not sure if she understands that she is moving directly towards the oblivion that I am trapped within but when she reaches the abyss I will greet her with my smile and my hand, and I will pull her into the shadows where she can become what she is meant to be.

Guilt is festering in her head, she takes responsibility for what I am and although she may be partly responsible she wasn’t there through my childhood. She didn’t take my parents, she didn’t kill my brother or make my sister a whore, she didn’t force me to sniff the cocaine and she didn’t introduce me to the superficiality of LA during the time I lived in it. She didn’t make me work for the Giovanni, she didn’t put the gun in my hand, she didn’t force me to become a vampire, these were all my decisions, she made none of them, the only decisions that she made that affected me where the decisions to betray me and to leave me and for this, I will always hate her with everything I have. Lizzy is the only thing that can tear my brilliant essence apart, torn between love and hate, I know which one will win, but no one else does… it will be interesting to see no?

But I should not be given your pity, for I don’t deserve it or want it. The pity belongs to those who get caught up between Elizabeth and I, because they will not be spared and what it all comes down to is that we are everything and all of you are nothing and I will make sure that is apparent to you all when I open your bodies with my hands and eat out your insides until you’re just like Lizzy and I, dead carcasses.