Beloved William
This page is dedicated to our beloved friend who left us so tragically. All we have left are these few photos of his legacy, the momories of all the lives he touched, and the fruit of his loins. The prodical son, Will Jr. On this site are things written about him by me and other people who cared. We love you William.
Unlike things of its shape, it sits, never moving. Face never changing. Relatively small, it is a rusty orange color, like a spot of caramel on a choclate candy, disturbed by lines of black. Soft to the touch, and so small you could wrap it in a handkerchief; the only thing off-putting about this is metal. Metal pins violating his fuzzy, smooth surface, penetrating the spine and body. Some carry messages or images, not vulgar, but morbid and intriguing. I used to pet its fur, feeling the plastic hair and metal beneath my fingertips or on my forearm as it rested around my wrist, staring at me with shiny, plastic eyes and decorative piercings.
-An essay I wrote for my Creative Writing Class, it was a "Describing Something Dear to Me" assignment.
William was a replacement. That’s all he was. He was a replacement for love. I didn’t have love, but I had William, and he was always there. But now he’s not. He’s gone. If I ever found love, I wouldn’t need him anymore, but I do. I haven’t found love, and he’s still gone. He loved me, you know. William loved me. Unconditionally. Devotedly. And I loved him, but he wasn’t real. But, he was there. Now that he’s gone, I should look for love, but without him, it’s really hard. He was a replacement for love, and I love the replacement. Maybe this is a sign from above telling me that I shouldn’t have love at all, real or artificial. Telling me that I am doomed forever to be alone, without anyone. All of my friends are off in their beautiful worlds with the ones they love and I’m left behind in the dust. They’re engaged or on their way and I have no one. I feel uncomfortable around them, like a third wheel, or even a fifth wheel sometimes. I hate it. I’m not happy, and I don’t like it. People ask me why I never smile, and I see them with the ones they love and who love them and I don’t have the heart to tell them. They shouldn’t be burdened with it; they have their own lives and loves to deal with. I just have nothing. So, I sit in my world of shadows pondering death, life, love, hate and all the other things that run through my brain. I don’t believe in God, at least I don’t think I do. So, I can’t be a nun. Suicide is an option. I’ve got lots of opportunities. No one thinks I’ll do it, which is why it would be so easy, because no one suspects me, so they wouldn’t try to stop me. I don’t know. I’m tired of thinking. It hurts. It hurts to think of everything I don’t have. People tell me to think of the things that I do have. Bastards. What I do have is a lot of emptiness. But, what do they know, they’re not me. Everyone thinks I should be rosy and happy all the time. Well, I’m not. And I have good reason. I just want everyone to leave me alone. No, I don’t. I don’t want to be alone. I want love. Maybe then I’ll smile and laugh and be happy for a change. But, until then, I’ll wait. I’ll wait forever. Alone. It’s just so hard to do it without William.
Will’s Venture
By: Emery Karliner
Hi,
My name is Will and I am on the endless search for my father, William Broad, he was taken from me and my mother and I will find him, during the night my mother has commited suicide, I guess the pain of him gone was too much for her to handle and has left me all alone on the quest to find him. It will be a long journey but I will give everything and sell anything to avenge my father’s taking! I will take thyself to the far ends of the earth to find him. I will go all alone because that is all I have, from the bag on my back to the hair on my head. I head off now, saying goodbye to everything I have to leave behind. I head off now to find the answer to my question... where is my father.....
In Loving Memory of My Best Friend William:
Once, when I awoke one morning, and you were there! Well, not really, I had to pay $5 to the DECA members. Not to mention the money spent on safety pins, buttons, and a collar. Also, that key that seemed misplaced, a coffin that was “donated” by a nameless person, and most importantly, LOVE. I bought you from DECA, but I swore to myself that I was NOT having school spirit, because it’s against my religion, if I had one. But, anyway, you were there, you loved me, and I loved you. I still do. I made you part of me. The piercings, the tiny, little 80’s clothes (plus “undies”), the collar... they made you mine.
Everyone commented on how I covered you little stripes with siver and gold pins. Little children screamed when they saw you gripping onto my trumpet in Mardi Gras parades. But, I didn’t care, and neither did you, because we were together, and that’s all that mattered.
Then... umm... when was it? Oh, yes, March 14, 2002, a Thursday, at lunch, at 11:56 pm. Yes, that’s right. That’s when you left. I lost you. I never saw you again. Lost forever like a holey, stinky sock in the dryer. Except, you weren’t stinky; you definitely weren’t holy. You were perfect. You were mine. And I was yours. Where did you go, William?
-Written by Tara: This article was published in our school newspaper. Thank you, Tara!
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