My Fucked Up Life
10-22-02I found the kewlest Quote today in my Prozac book. The lady who wrote it said, "I alone knew the truth about life, knew that it was all a miserable downward spiral that you could either admit to or ignore, but sooner or later we are all going to die." I thought about this for a really long time in first period and I realized that I know, too. I've known for a long time now. I've known I was going to die since I was about four. It's sad really, that I've been messed up that long. Well, I'll write more later when I think of something.
10-21-02
I realize today that there are a lot of books that I would like to read and have all for my self. Most of them are by great authors like Poppy Z. Brite and Anne Rice or other ones that no one has heard of like Nancy Baker or Elizabeth Wurtzel. I'm trying to come up with a poem idea, but my head is throbing and there is nothing to write about. I have some lines but they don't mesh quite yet. I'll find a way to put them together. Today, I just feel like going home and taking a whole bottle of NyQuil and not wake up until tomorrow morning. That's sounds like a wonderful idea. I don't have a song right now because I am in the library at school and there is no music. That only sounds are the sounds of the typing of keyboards and the librarian telling us to not be on these sites in the first place. I am so tired. I'm not even here today. Neither is Amphetamine. We are just going through the motions of life so we can go home and have a full moon ceremony. It's like a dream, everything is fuzzy and it feels like it's not real but I'm walking through it anyway, not really seeing anything or hearing anything, it's just...... there. I wish I could live in the world in my head. I'm there most of the time anyway, why not go all the time? Everything is crystal clear there, whereas here everything is hazy and clouded, making it impossible for oyu to see the obstacles ahead of you. School work is nothing, either it's too easy or it is too hard and there is nothing you can do about it. And the teacher have no idea what they are talking about, so they can't help you out when you don't understand because they don't get it either. Okay, I'm back in the Dungeon now and Amph and Spunky were just over and we had a full moon ritual. It was fun with Spunky there. I wrote a poem today. Inspiration just kind of crept up on me and so I wrote. It'll be posted here in a minute or two. So for those of you who care, it'll be in my poetry section. I don't know what I'll name it yet but I'll figure something out. I was depressed all day for some reason. I guess I don't need a reason anymore. It just finds me wherever I am.
10-20-02
I am very ticklish. I just thought everyone would like to know that. They fucking went off on the tickling until 4:30 in the morning last night. I thought I was going to die of lack of oxygen to the brain. I think Mike and I are having problems. I don't know. He never wants to go out and when he does, he brings along everyone so we can never be alone together and he gets mad at me for no reason. He also still hasn't tried anything with me yet. I'm starting to get a little frustrated. I don't know. I'm so confused. There should be a step by step guide to this that everyone has to follow. Then, maybe, I'd understand it. Today was basically a continuation of yesterday. We got mad at the world and watched movies. Today we watched Idle Hands and Tombstone. After that, it just went downhill. We went out with our respective guys and had......... well, I wouldn't exactly call it fun, but............ I don't know. My eyes are staring to hurt. Fucking Optomatrist, got the goddamned prescription wrong, the fucking bastards. I really don't want to go to school tomorrow. I hate all of my classes. Well, that's a lie. I only hate two of them, but still, they are both at the end of the day so they make the rest of the day when I get home feel shitty and I hate them. Life sucks. I know I've said that about a thousand times already, but hey, who's going to prove me wrong. Nobody. No one can prove that true statement wrong. Ever. There is no song for today. I feel too tired and depressed to think of one to play while I am writing. "The fog of depression is like a cage with no key." Yeah, you got that right. I'm trapped in the cage. Won't someone please let me out?
10-19-02
WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN? SOMEONE SAYS THAT THEY ARE GOING TO DO SOMETHING AND THEN.......... WHAT?!?!?!?!?! NOTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT'S WHAT! NO ONE EVER THINKS ABOUT IT, THEY JUST DON'T DO IT. NO VAMPIRE BALL FOR MICHELE, SHE DOESN'T DESERVE IT BECAUSE SHE ALSWAYS DOES WHAT SHE IS SUPPOSED TO!!!!!! NO ONE IS SUPPOSED TO DO THAT ANYMORE. O ONE EVER DOES WHAT THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO IT ALL JUST GOES TO HELL, AND NO ONE EVER THINKS ABOUT WHAT THE FUCK OTHER PEOPLE ARE FEELING. THAT'S WHAT PISSES ME OFF SO MUCH ABOUT THIS WORLD. NOW DO YOU PEOPLE SEE WHY I TRIED TO KILL MYSELF SO MANY TIMES?!?!?!?! THERE IS NOTHING HERE BUT DOUBT, FEAR AND DISAPPOINTMENT!!!!! I HATE THIS LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Okay, I'm just a little upset right now. Ashley, the one who was supposed to pick us up to take us to the Vampire Ball DIDN'T!! So now we are at my house. So far, we have watched The Crow, Interview With the Vampire, and The Princess Bride. Life Sucks!!!!
10-18-02
Did you miss me? I didn't write yesterday. I was not really home all that much. I went shopping after school and bought a 16 oz. bottle of blood, some fangs, a three foot wig of black hair and some panty hose to go with my dress. I just got the wig for fun. The blood is fo my own personal use. I can think of about ten thousand fun things to do with all that stuff. I looks so real, except for the fact that it's a little too see through. Well, tomorrow is the vampire ball. I am so excited. I'm sitting in the Dungeon watching Bram Stoker's Dracula. I love this movie. Gary Oldman is so kewl. We lost the football game again. 52 to 0. I think they should just give up. My mind hurts. Not my head, jus my mind. I had to think too much today. I had quite a few tests in school and my brain doesn't like tests. Plus, my feet don't like marching and my fingers don't like typing. And yet, I continue. Far lack of better things to do. I could be working on my story The Meat Locker, but, once again, I have got a big case of writer's black and don't know what the hell to write. I finished with both of the great make-out scenes and am in dire need of a continuing plot theme. I think it should be something like they tell us that they are different and say something romantic like, "There is no life in this body," but that would be too much like the other stories. Especialy since I just heard it on the TV from Dracula. But, it is very romantic. Plus there is the issue of sex. 'Cause the vampires in the Anne Rice dimension can't have sex. But the ones in the Buffyverse can. And since they both appear in this story, it's a little hard to decide what to do. I'll definitely let them have sex, but the question is how? I have no inspiration. I have no muse. The full moon is on Monday. Maybe then I'll have some epiphany (Ahhhh <-- epiphany song) and be able to come up with something. I really wish I had some good fangs. I really need them. If anybody can hook me up with some cheap but good ones, I would be forever greatful and might immortalize you, if you so choose. Well, I must retire. The sun is on the horizon, which means it is time for me to lay my body down to rest until tomorrow. I wish for Anthony Hopkins to come and Hannibal Lector you all. But in a good way.
10-16-02
Nothing to do. Aboslute boredom in the Dungeon. I read in my book today that, "The fog of depresssion is a cage with no key." Sounds about right, doesn't it? My sister is coming home for a visit tomorrow with the weenies. Cute little dogs. It was really funny when Kimo bit Shorty to the point of bleeding. It was hilarious. I have no life. I have nothing to write about. It's horrible. I can't think of anything to say. I have this huge bruise on my wrist. Yesterday, the band as outside having a little down time (ABOUT DAMN TIME) and we had cokes and I took one of the cans and set it on the pavement and smashed it with my hand to crush it. I did this with about five or six. It didn't hurt, but now this huge bruise is there and when I tell people how it happened they're all like, "You're weird." I don't know. All I can say is, "Hey, it didn't hurt at the time." I'm going to be on the radio on Friday. This guy came and interviewed the band for some "Band of the Week" thing on an oldies station. I was the only one who wasn't nervous. Everyone else had their little prepared speeches, shaking in their burkenstocks, and studdering. But, since it was a dare anyway 'cause I wasn't planning on doing it, I was just like, "Whatever, hey dude. What's up?" So, if any of you hear it, I will be the only one who doesn't sound about ready to bolt for cover. It's at 7:20 A.M. on 102.3, or at 4:20 P.M. Then if I ever get the unedited tape that the guy promised me, I'll get to hear him curse into the microphone. Superman broke the mike and then he was doing a sound check and he forgot there was a mike on the box and called the thing a "piece of crap." So, I hope I get that soon. Does anybody remember the old Ataris? Or Nintendos? Goddess, I haven't played those games in forever. I might have an access to a Nintendo this weekend. I always have access to an Atari, so I can play it anytime, I just keep forgetting. Nothing to do. Bored. I'm finally writing more to the Meat Locker story. Hopefully that'll be up and running soon, but I added a new story to the fanfic anyway. It's about how Amph and I met. Read it. Maybe then you'll get an idea of how weird we were as children. Well, I must go. Pigs blood and entrails to you all.
10-15-02
I hate exams. I think I totally bombed the Spanish 2 exam today. But at least we didn't have practice after school, so I can sit here and chill and listen to my music instead of being out in the hot sun sweating my ass off. The song for today is Dancing With Myself by Billy Idol. That's what I like to do while everyone else is gone. Dance around and just be wild, as long as no one is watching me. Guess what people. I'm am going to the Vampire Ball on Oct. 19th. Weeeeee!!!!! They sell pigs blood. I am soooo going to buy some. They say it's just to have, but I might buy two and keep one and drink the other. I'm going to the mall today. I need to get some new reading material from Barnes and Noble anyway. Went to Barnes and Noble. Got Exquisite Corpse, yes I know you hate me Amph, Love In Vein, Vittorio the Vampire, and the new Buffy mag for this month. Plus I picked up the dress that I am going to wear to the Vampire Ball. Weeeeee!!!!!! It is so kewl. It's dark red and it's long and flowy and stuff. It looks so kewl. I am going to take pictures of me at the Ball and put them up here so you guys can see the kewlness that its my dress. All I need now is shoes, then I am going to be perfect. Well, I am going to bo admire my dress some mroe. Pigs blood to you all.
10-14-02
I hate Mondays. I hate school. I found an old journal of mine today while I was not paying attention in class and one of the passages made me think. "Sometimes I wonder. I'm always doing that. Wondering. It never stops. Sometimes I want to tell the voices in my head to shut the hell up. They remind me that I'll never be thin or beautiful and I'll never have real love. They tell me of dying alone and I believe them. I am alone, and I'll probably stay that way. I feel like Edgar Allen Poe in The Raven, 'And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor, shall be lifted, -Nevermore.'" That kind of says a lot about how much has changes over the years, doesn't it? Nothing ever changes. I'm reading Prozac Nation again. I can really identify with the girl in that book. She knows the way of the world. Even though it sucks worse for her than everyone else. Anyone ever seen the movie Psycho Beach Party? That is one of the funniest movies in the world. Ever get the feeling that no one is listening even when your right in front of them talking to their face. I get that all the time. Even with teachers at school, or people who are my "friends." It seems that the only people who listen to you are complete strangers and that's only because they are afraid for their lives that you are going go psycho and kill them if they don't pay attention and pass the written test on the text of your conversation. One of these days, I am going to give a written exam on one of my convos, just to see who's listening. Has anyone ever heard those "Real Men of Genius" things from the Budweiser commercials? My favorite one is the "Mr. Nudist Colony Activities Coordinator." Today, I am going to go home, maybe hang out with Amphetamine and, I don't know, just be on the computer for the rest of the day.
Life sucks. No one understands. No one wants to understand. Instead of asking, they just run away. They don't even bother. Why do I even bother? Can anyone tell me that? I don't know what to do. I'm so confused. I need a hug.
10-13-02I really don't like Sundays. That means that I have school and exams tomorrow. Grrr. Got more fanmail, yay!!!! I'm talking to Amphetamine on the phone. She says, "Could you pick up my dry cleaning?" I don't know who she is talking to, but hey, you need to pick up her dry cleaning!!!! Going out with the gang again tonight. That's basically what I do every night, Pinky. Song for today is "Slept So Long" by Orgy from the Queen of the Damned soundtrack. "Did you think it's cool to walk right up to take my life and fuck it up? Well, did you? Well, did you? I see Hell in your eyes Take it in by surprise. Touching you makes me feel alive. Touching you makes me die inside." Fucking awesome song. I think I'm coming down with something. I'm all dizzy and I can't breathe right and stuff. There's like a cement block over my chest. I don't know. "Your body's dying. It happens to us all." Tonight we went to the park and rolled in the grass with each other. I think Superman and Shorty are back together. Either that or they are just fuck-buddies. I don't know. I was rolling in the grass with Mike, Adam was rolling with Steph and Superman and Shorty were doing the whole fucking Kama Sutra. Literally. They were all like, "Hey guys, check out this position!" But since we were busy ourselves, we just said, "We are not availabe at the moment, please leave a message after the beep. BEEP!" All together, it was an awesome night, except that every five seconds I got dizzy and almost fell down. My window is moving all by itself.................. Maybe I'm just halucinating, but I think it just moved. I'm loosing it. I don't know if I had it in the first place, but if I did, I lost it. I think I'm going to turn in early so I can be all rested for mid-terms tomorrow. Farewell, dear sweet minions.
10-12-02
Contest was today. I got so sick after the performance that I went home as soon as we got off of the field. We made all superiors. Yay us (<---- lack of enthusiasm) I don't care. Went to the beach with Mike, Shorty, Adam, Steph, and Patrice. We had a good time. We were talking to strangers and everything, it was fun. Tomorrow, I plan on spending the day in the Dungeon. Angel's on tomorrow night. Plus this really kewl movie that I heard about. It's about this kid who gets picked on at school and he can't take it anymore so he takes a bomb and some handguns and just goes at it. It looks fucking awesome. The song for today my minions is "Forsaken" performed by Disturbed. "You see I cannot be forsaken, because I'm not the only one. We walk amongst you. Feeding. Raping. Must we hide from everyone?" One of the kewlest songs in the world. Either that or the song is Pink Floyd, "Is There Anybody Out There?" That's what I feel like asking when no one responds to my website. I'm not loved :( No one cares. (Humming the "Doom" song) I need some new glow-in-the-dark stuff for the Dungeon. Guess what people. I might be getting some fangs for Halloween. If I do, then I'll take a picture and put it up here so you guys can see how kewl I look in them. You ever find a cracker in a box that is sooo weird looking that you try to put it to the side so that you won't eat it so you can show other people, and then, like, two seconds later you look over and go, "Ooo cracker!!" and munch it down, then you think, "Awww shit!!!!! I just ate the kewl cracker!!!! Goddamnit!!!" You ever done that?............... Me neither. Just checking with you. Hehe. Anyway, how's life everybody? Feedback is nice when you get it, but it sucks when you don't. So, please feed me!!!!!!
10-11-02
I have company!!! Yay!!!! Brittney, Melissa and Brandi are all in the Dungeon!!! Weeeeee!!!!!! We are listening to funny things on my computer. We are about to go to a football game where we will inevitably lose horribly. We need food!!!! We are listening to the "Greatest Song in the World" "Tribute" by Tenacious D. Hey!! this is Stephanie I'm in the Dungeon and having the time of my life!!:)* Love, Stephanie. That was Stephanie, see Steph, I got it right!!!!!!!! Weeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!! We have to perform tomorrow, er, today, it's like 1:30 in the morning. We are going to be sleeping on the bus tomorrow. I don't want to go!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Steph doesn't either. But we might go have a campout tomorrow, so that will be kewl. We are now listening to the Queen of the Damned soundtrack while we TRY to get to sleep. NOT WORKING!!!!!! Well, got to go. See you tomorrow all of my children of the night. Blessed Be.
10-10-02
I was sick today. (cough cough) I'm fine now. But I hear I missed quite a day. My sister wants me to come to Hattiesburg to see her, but I know my parents won't let me go see her. Grrr. I got fan mail!!!! Yay!!!!!! Guess what people. I might have some company in the Dungeon for a while. One of my friends needs a place to crash and she might stay with me. I hope she doesn't like the sunlight. 'Cause she won't get any if she does like it. (Boredom, Depression, and Loneliness ensue in the Dungeon.) It's kind of obvious. Today I am listening to the Vampire Hunter D song. It's sad yet thought provoking. Hmmmm. Any vampire song is thought provoking. Tomorrow, we have yet another one of those fucking gay football games. I wonder how much we're going to lose by this time. Last time it was 57 to 7. I hate sports. They're pointless. The song for today my children, is "Burn" by The Cure, which is the song from the movie, The Crow. Fucking awesome song. It's the song they are playing when he first puts on the make-up and gets all sexy and stuff in the leather pants. Brandon Lee is sexy. Now I have to go watch that movie again. "'Just paint your face,' the shadows smile. Slipping me away from you. It doesn't matter how you hide, we'll find you if we're wanting to. So, slide back down and close your eyes, rest a while you must be tired. Scream the animal scream. Dream the crow black dream." I might add a new segment to the site. Someone is writing me a fanfic and I want to post it on here because he is a really good friend and a talented writer because he's awesome. Love you, Sam!!! The only guy in the world I can talk to about Buffy and Angel stuff, who would actually understand. (sigh) Well, I'm off, my little children of the night. Hope to hear from at least one of you. All two of you.
10-09-02
My ficking car died on me today!!!! The fucking gas gauge is broken and it was empty when it said it was full. (humming "Piece of Shit Car" by Adam Sandler) Grrrr. Mike's back in town. We plan to go out tonight. Either that or I am going to pout, get very angry and start hitting things. Not necessarily in that order though. I'm listening to "Under Pressure" by Queen with David Bowie. I feel like one of those friends he is talking about. The ones that are screaming, "Let me out!" The Dungeon is unnecessarily cold today. I like it. I need to go through some more of the shit under the coffin though. Tomorrow is Thursday. I don't know whether that is a good thing or a bad thing. Then on Saturday is the State band contest in Gulfport. (rolls eyes and growls) I hate those things. Out in the deadly rays of the sun for over 10 hours is not my idea of fun. I'll be bringing my pants, sweat shirt and my SPF 50, I'll tell you that. I don't care how hot it gets. Maybe if I faint or go into a coma, they'll let me go home. :) (<-- evil mischievious grin) You know what makes me go all mushy inside? I know this is going to sound so lame, but it's the song from Buffy, the one where they kill Ms. Calender and it's all sad and it's got Giles humming in the background. Also, the song Goodbye To You by Michelle Branch. Anyone ever heard the Tenacious D song "Stabbing You With My Bowie?" It's pretty damned funny. Well, I'll take my leave now. Mike'll be here soon and I have nothing else to write. I'll just leave you with this little thought. "'Life sucks and then you die'. And the bad part about the end of that quote would be what?" Goodnight, dear mortal children of mine.
10-08-02
Hi there kids!!! It's me again, the most pathetic lunatic in the entire state of Mississippi. How are you today? Or, to quote a good friend of mine, "How's life?" And my reply to her always is, "It's worse than a kick in the face with a golf shoe." Because it is. No one loves me. :( No one is giving me donations. Oh, well. Buffy was on tonight. Just thought you might like to know. Does anybody even read this shit? If you do, I'd really like to know. E-mail me or something, even it's to tell me that I have no life and that I should stop ranting about how much life sucks major ass. I already know that, but tell me anyway. Come on people!!!!! I need feedback. No one showed up for the mutant hampster races, and there was only one applicant for the Madam Curie look-a-like contest and he was disqualified later. Why do I even bother? In case anyone cares, that was from a movie. You wouldn't know it, 'cause I'm the only one in the world who watches THAT much TV, to be able to quote directly after having seen the movie over five years ago. Anyway, today sucked, but I got out of doing something that I really do not want to do, so that made me happy. Plus, I'm listening to my music of the night and about to download some more techno and stuff. I love techno. The song for today, and probably for a while, is Sandstorm!!!!! WOO HOO!!!!!!!!!!!!! That song is the fucking shit!!!!! Sometimes, I just sit in the Dungeon and that's all I'll do, is listen to my music and just take a trip from the world into my own. It sucks when I get a phone call from this dimension, but, hey, what can you do? I think I'll go do that right now. See you all when you feel like confronting me. Goodnight, my mortal children.
10-07-02
I got into the National Honer Society!!! YAY ME!!!!!!!!! I have an induction ceremony tonight. I'm in 3rd period and I have nothing else to do in my lunch break, so I thought I'd write a little. This week is going to be so busy, I don't want to do anything. I want to go home and never come out until I am as pale as my white bed sheets. By the way, I also need funds to get some black bed sheets. Donations are always welcome. Anytime now people!!!!!
10-06-02
This weekend sucked! We didn't get anywhere near New Orleans!!!! We were on the Westbank and we didn't even get to see anything. I saw the top of the St. Joseph's Church and that's it!!! I am so disappointed. That and my boyfriend's uncle just died and he is going to be gone for three days to go to the funeral, and I'm going to miss him, and we have a fucking band contest this weekend that I really don't want to go to, plus on top of all of that I missed Angel tonight. Life is just a big barrel of shit, and someone just nailed the lid on. I need a gun. I really do. If I had a gun, life would be grand. Right now, I'm blaring my music, watching a Sex Pistols movie, and reading Interview With the Vampire, yet again. I've read everything else on my shelf, so I've decided to read the Vampire Chronicles again. I can't wait to get to The Vampire Lestat, that's my favorite. You guys have got to see my Dungeon. I re-decorated it and it looks awesome. Spunky has been to the Dungeon, and so has Amphetamine. They both think it looks awesome. I've been spending a lot of time in The Dungeon lately. It's my sanctuary. It's where I come to get away from the world. I wish I could spend my entire life in here. All I need is a bathroom and a fridge. I have a computer with internet, a TV, a VCR, a DVD player, a bed, tin foil on the windows, it's paradise. I might yoink the mini-fridge from my parents so I can have one of those problems solved. I need to work on my anti-tan, anyway. I am too dark. I need to get rid of my farmer's tan. Any suggestions from anyone? Punching bag issue is becoming a need here people. Donations are not going to send themselves. A meesly dollar would suffice. Anything to help the cause. Just call it "The Saving the Bay Foundation- Making sure Morphine does not kill everyone in town collection fund" Come on people!!! Does anyone love me?..............................
Well, I guess that answers that question.
10-04-02
I really hate school. The only classes I don't mind are the first two. The other ones can go to hell! And then there's our fucking physically impared football losers who haven't won a single game since the Reneissance. Playing at the football game is just not right. We should just leave them a note that says, "Fuck you, you losing bastards. We quit since you don't even pay us anyway." I know I have no school spirit. Why have spirit in something you loathe entirely with all the hatred in your being? It's pointless. I'm going to New Orleans tomorrow, so I might not update for a while. I'm going with Shorty. She and Superman just broke up. I think it's for good this time. I told her we'd go on a rampage and just flirt with every fucking guy in the French Quarter. She liked the idea. I just hope she doesn't do anything stupid like I did when I got depressed last month when I wrote that lovely little poem and had a date with Mr. Pointy. Anyway, on a happier note: I have been told that I give wonderful backrubs. :) That's nice to know. I just wish someone would give them to me more often. *COUGH*Michael*COUGH* Listening to some metal music right now. Makes me feel a little better. But what really hooks my harness is the bloody, stained red music from the Queen of the Damned soundtrack. That song Forsaken just makes me want to take the nearest guy and either kill him and drink his blood, or do other things to him while I drink his blood. The latter would be more pleasurable, for both of us. If I take pictures in New Orleans, I'll be sure to put them on here. I want to go to Lafeyette Cemetary, and to the Garden District, and to the French Quarter, and go visit every single voodoo shop in town. It'll take a while, but hey, I got all weekend. I still need a punching bag. Where are my donations?
10-03-02
You know what I hate? I hate it when teachers come up to you and notice that your grades are slipping a little bit and they say fake sappy shit like, "What's happening, this isn't like you." They don't know. They don't fucking know a goddamned thing about me. They don't know me and my life and all the shit floating around in it. My teacher is the world's most fucking dumbass at Bay High school. I'm a fucking straight A student in every single damned class BUT HERS!!!!! Shouldn't that be a little obvious that maybe it's not my fault? Maybe I choose not to study or I choose not to do the homework, because I don't fucking feel like doing it anymore!!!!!! And she won't know a fucking thing because, guess what. SHE'S NOT ME!!!!!!!! I wish people would stop assuming that they know me without actually knowing me. The only people that really know me are the few friends that I have. That's why they are the best friends I have ever had, because they understand. And if they don't, then they sure as hell hide it well enough for me not to notice. If it wasn't for them, I wouldn't be here. Literally. Grrrrrrrr. Sometimes, I just want to go to that bitch's class and yell right into her face, "IT'S NOT ME, IT'S YOU, YOU FUCKING WHORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Then I'd take the stapler and pound it against my head to show them how fucked up they are making my life. Then maybe they'd realize that something is horribly wrong with the way they treat us. Then, after my little stapler charade, I could go to the corner of the room and bang my head against the wall and retreat to my world where everything is perfect and not think about the hell hole which is where I really live. I really need a punching bag. Will someone donate money so that I can get a punching bag? Please?
Morphine
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