chapter four
I swear sometimes Cain doesn't think. I mean, what idiot lays in the snow in a t-shirt and jeans? Knowing him he was probably laying there for hours on end. Fool.
I think that if it wasn't for me he would be dead already. He says that I boss him around but I really don't. He's just imagining things. I only do it because I care about him. It might not seem like it sometimes but it's true. I love him like I would a brother and I wouldn't want to see anything bad happen to him. I have to look after him because I get the feeling that he doesn't really care about himself. He let's people walk all over him like a giant welcome mat and doesn't think twice about it. I don't understand why he refuses to start a relationship with me. We would be perfect together. I just want to make him happy.
I told him that I had to do my homework even though I really didn't have any. It was just an excuse to keep him away from me so I could steal away to my mother's computer in the other room. I had this master plan to fix things for Cain and it was absolutely fool proof. It formed the other night in my head when I read on his journal that he wasn't into Devon anymore. What if I could end the relationship a little earlier then Cain had expected?
I logged onto AIM under a screen name that nobody knew about. Seeing that Cain was online put the icing on the cake.
"Hello, Cain." I typed. I could feel myself grinning uncontrollably. "It's Devon."
I felt so evil doing this. I could just picture the look on his face when he read it. He's gonna be scared shitless.
There was a long pause, then finally I got a reply. "Devon! Hi! How are you? I didn't know you knew my screen name."
Oh, this is so evil that I don't know if I can pull it off. Okay, yes I can.
"So, I heard something about you and I don't know if it's true. Maybe you could help me out by confirming it or not." I typed. I couldn't control my excitement. I should totally get punched in the face for this.
"Oh, what would that be?" he asked. I could sense that he was getting nervous. This is going so perfectly that I wanted to piss myself with joy.
"So Cain," I typed while stifling giggles. "is it true that you've been cheating on me?"
There was barley any pause this time. "OMG, no! I would never do anything like that to you! What do you take me for, a whore?" I could hear the squeak of his computer chair in the other room. He was getting nervous and rocking in it.
It's not that I'm trying to purposely be evil to Cain. I'm really not. I'm actually doing the guy a favor here. I mean, he did say that he didn't like Devon anymore and he was just waiting for Devon to break it off with him. Why shouldn't I just speed up the process a bit? I'm really not doing anything that wouldn't eventually happen anyway, right?
I paused to keep him in suspense. Hey, I do have to get him upset a bit. Who's shoulder do you think he's going to cry on? That would be mine.
"liar..." was all I typed. That was enough to crush him.
"Well fine, don't believe me. I'm better off without you anyway." I could hear him viciously hitting the keys as he typed. "You know, you were a sucky boyfriend anyway."
I heard him pound down on the keys as he signed off. The AIM window made a sound of a door slamming.
I quickly signed off and waited. If I didn't stall too long he might suspect something.
I hope he's not too upset. Well actually if he is really upset, he will be vulnerable and it will be easier for me too move in for the kill. I like him, he likes me. What could go wrong?
After about ten minutes I decided to make contact.
"Cain!" I screamed into the other room, "Have you seen where I put the new issue of Blender?"
There was a long pause, but then small voice, "It's under my bed." Bingo.
I walked into his room and looked around. He was sitting in the corner curled up into a ball with his head in his knees, hugging himself. He looked so pathetic that I felt a bit of remorse for him. Maybe I really shouldn't of done that. Oh well, there's no way to reverse it now so I might as well bask in it.
I paused a second while he wasn't looking at me, for a dramatic effect. Then I walked over to him and knelt down, putting my hand on his back. "What's the matter?" I asked in a soothing voice.
"Nothing..." he muttered without looking up. I could hear him sniffle. If he was standing, he would have his hands mashed in his pockets. He was so adorable.
"Oh come on," I said while sitting down and putting my arms around him, "I know you better then to fall for that. You don't cry for no reason."
I put an arm underneath his knees and picked him up, pulling him unto my lap. He moved so his legs were wrapped around my waist and buried his head into my chest. I could feel his heart pounding and I wanted to cry.
He sighed and looked up at me with big, brown, tear filled eyes. All I wanted to do was cuddle him and make him feel better. I can really be an asshole sometimes.
"Nothing. You wouldn't understand anyway." he said while biting his bottom lip as he always did when upset.
I pet him and kissed the top of his head. "Oh come on," I said, trying to reason with him. "you can tell me. Is it about Devon?" I was going out on a limb with that one. I could never keep too many secrets from him.
He stared at me, trying to read my thoughts. "How did you know about Devon?" he asked with a questioning look. I could feel him running his fingers over the tips of my hair in the back. He looked quite curious.
There really was no way to successfully back my way out of this without lying. He would probably hate me more if I lied to him anyway so it was pretty much inevitable that he find out. "Well, I was surfing the net when I somehow came across your dead journal." I said after a deep breath. I was stroking his arm with my thumb, trying to calm him.
All he did was stare at me for a while. He seemed to be dwelling on something when it occurred to me that he had written that he liked me and he now knew that I knew. Opps.
"You read my dead journal?" he asked while continuing to stare at me. His crying had ceased a bit as he became preoccupied. "So you know, don't you?"
That took me a bit by surprise. I didn't think that he would straight out ask me, but he did. My first reaction was to lie but I knew he wouldn't buy it, so I had to confess.
"Yeah, I do."
I squeezed him and ran my fingers though his hair. He stayed silent.
I felt really bad because he obviously didn't want me to know and I betrayed his trust by reading it in the first place. I felt like an asshole.
"It really isn't as bad as you think it is." I told him while running my hand along his jaw. I stopped when I got to his chin and placed my hand under it, bringing his head up so we could meet eyes.
"So what exactly are you trying to say then?" he mumbled through tears.
I gave him a sly look, then leaned down and kissed him.
