chapter two
The ground was shaking and I was in the car again. Time had reversed and I seemed to be driving towards my doom with nothing there to stop me. My fear was intersifing as I saw the oncoming taillights of the truck ahead of me. It was if time started moving in slow motion and I was frozen in the middle of everything with no way out. I could feel the blood pumping in my veins in anticipation of it being spilled all over the highway.
I tried to force my hands to turn the wheel in an attempt to swerve out of the way in time, but it was no use. I had to go through this again. It was my destiny to go through this over and over, and over again.
I heard the sound of a car horn and the crunching of metal. My eyes squeezed shut instinctively and I was thrust forward in my seat violently.
I woke up with a start. I was sitting straight up in bed gasping for breath. The sheets that I was sitting on were rumpled and twisted around my quivering body.
I lay back down in a puddle of my own sweat and closing my eyes, I covered my head with the blanket and lay there waiting for my heart to try and catch up with me.
It's been five years since it happened. Five years. I was only 17 then and now being 22 you would think that it would all be a thing of the past. But it wasn't. It never will be.
I have these nightmares pretty much every night. They always rob me of my dreams and cause me to not want to fall asleep. I know that they will be there waiting for me if I do.
The odd thing about that is, I don't really remember much about that night either. I sometimes have dreams of what went on into he hospital when I was in a coma. I could hear the people talking around me, but couldn't make contact with them. It was the most horrible thing in the world.
The worst part about it was, I could hear Lyzander. I knew he had left me and I ached to cry out to him in attempt to bring him back to me. He left me and I still don't want to except that. I wonder what he's doing now, if he still thinks of me as much as I think of him. I would look him up if it wasn't for my own fear of the unknown. I don't know what I would say to him. Plus I wouldn't trust myself to say anything to him for fear of losing control of myself. I can be unpredictable that way.
From somewhere far away from me I heard a knock at the front door. I didn't move, anticipating Able to get it, but then I remembered that he had went to work early today. Damn him and his motivation.
I hauled my ass out of bed and slumped down the hallways towards the door. I could feel every hair on my body stand on end. It was freezing in the apartment due to the fact that the landlord is cheap. She only turns on the heat from 10pm to 6 am. I really have to find a better place to live.
I stubbed my toe on the couch, not watching where I was going, and yelped in pain. Damn couch. It always seems to be where you don't want it.
There was more knocking so I picked up that pace. I fell on the door and then slid the lock over and turned the handle. I came face to face with Mordred.
Mordred, my brother's lover. He was the only man I had lusted over since Lyzander had left. He was everything a man should be, tall, dark, and handsome. If Lyzander were day, then Mordred would be night.
He was the type of man that entered a room with an aura of mystery and nobility. With hair the color of a raven's wing and eyes the deepest blue oft he ocean, he was enough to swoon even the straightest of men
Mordred filled my empty body with a feeling of longing, captivating me in a web of my own lust.
My void was fulfilled for only a night, a long while ago. Able had lent him to me for some occasion. That may sound awful, but since him and Mordred had been together since high school, they started an agreement that allowed them to sleep around with other people. They said it wouldn't get in the way of their love and to that I was grateful.
Nothing too extraordinary happened that night. That was displayed by me walking away from the experience with my virginity still intact. As much as I might pine for Mordred, he still wouldn't be able to provide for me everything that I needed in life. For that, I couldn't give him the only thing I still had that I could give no one else.
You see, no matter how much I wanted him, I was still very wary of him. He freaked me out. He always had these strange motives that no one would understand. I didn't like to be near him.
"Hello Cain." he said to me through open doorway, showing me his sly smirk. He wanted me to want him. He knew it drove me mad. "Nice Pi's."
I looked down, and sure enough I had forgotten to get dressed before answering the door. I was standing there wearing baggy, plaid pajama pants and a white undershirt. He chuckled to himself.
"Hey, are you working at all today?" he asked. I searched my mind, trying to come up with my work schedule.
"Um, yeah. I go in at five. Why?" I asked puzzled. It wasn't like him to ask anything about people's lives.
"Oh, I was just thinking of stopping in later, maybe getting some ink done." he was giving me his playful smile again. I wasn't sure if he was being serious or not. He doesn't seem like the type that would get a tattoo, but he's also know to shock.
"All right then, stop by later if you want to." I said. I started to close the door, but he put his foot in the way.
For some reason, Mordred made me uncomfortable. He scared me in some way that I don't understand. I think it's that superior air that he brings with him that does it. It scares me and turns me on at the same time.
"What's the big rush Cain? Aren't you going to be a good host and invite me in?" he asked, grinning. He was up to something, and I didn't like it one bit.
"You know Able isn't here." I said to him while keeping the door slightly closed as defense.
"Oh, I know," he put his hand on the door and pushed past me, "but maybe I want to be here to spend time with you."
He walked into our kitchen and started opening cabinets. It annoyed the hell out of me when people did that. He found a power bar and took it, walked back in the living room, and sat down on the couch, putting his feet up on the table. His shoes were dirty which was driving me crazy. He did it intenenaly to piss me off.
Lifting up his disgusting feet, I slid the newspaper underneath in order to keep the table clean. I hate being a neat freak.
"Come and sit with me Cain, I know something that might be of great interest to you."
I reluctantly sat down and looked over at him. He had me at his mercy and he loved every second of it.
You see, Mordred is a power freak. He loves to be in control. He gets some rush out of holding people in suspense, or having them beg to him. I got a small taste of that, the night I had mentioned earlier.
"How much do you want to know what I have to tell?" Oh God, not again. He wouldn't be happy until he had me pleading with him. I figured I'd better just get it over with.
"A lot Mordred, will you please tell me?" I was already inpatient with him, and it didn't even start yet.
"Kiss me Cain, and then I might tell you." Oh boy, I could see where this was headed. He was leaning in towards me and tilting his head. I hesitated, but then gave in to him, placing my lips over his. The next thing I felt was his tongue in my mouth. I wanted to recoil, but couldn't. Whenever Mordred knows something, it's always something valuable. I needed to find out what it was before my curiosity killed me.
He was now climbing on top of me, letting his hands run all over me. Mordred isn't shy at all might I add.
I don't understand why he always wanted to do this. The two of us have no connection with each other. Maybe it's just because I'm my brother's twin that he feels the need to exploit me at his leisure. I'll never understand him.
About halfway through, I finally got him to stop for air.
"Will you tell me now?" I pleaded with him. I was growing tired of his game.
"Not so fast Cain darling, I'm not finished with you yet." He started sucking on my neck hard enough to leave a bruise. Great, just what I needed. Now the guys at work would really have a field day with me.
Just then I heard the door to the apartment open. I looked over and saw my brother starring at us. I gave him a helpless look as if to say "Get this creep off me."
He nodded and walked over to us.
"Mordred," he said with running his finger along his spine. "why don't you leave poor Cain alone, and come play with me."
Able took Mordred by the arm and led him off me in the direction of his bedroom.
"Wait!" I called after him. "What is it you had to tell me?" I wasn't about to let him get away with this one.
He looked back at me.
"You know your little blonde friend that you lost a while ago?"
Lyzander? No, couldn't be. I nodded my head anyway just to hear what he had to say.
"Well, I have his address. I work with him."
After that they disappeared into Able's bedroom. I sat back down on the couch to think.
Mordred knew Lyzander? That means that I could know Lyzander again also. Is this a good or bad thing?
I went into my bedroom to get dressed and to think. I would get his address from Mordred, but not now. Now was too soon.
