Diggins:
I was walking through the forest, only nothing cut my feet. The green scenry was releaving, and strong. I came to a lake where the forest broke, the lake was so crystal clean and see through. I couldn't help but dive in, and be in the beautiful clean lake. I was in this weird black/red velvet dress thing, it looked quite nice on me. My hair no longer short, it was now long and beautiful. When i emgered from the lake, there was Zac standing there smileing at me. "Have a nice swim?" He looked erily calm. "Yeah," I said walking from the water to in front of him. "Would you make love to me?" I felt my stomach do a lurch, i wanted to, but i wasn't ready. He was there and i loved him so much. I walked toward him and placed a kiss on his mouth. A loud ringing came and invaded my dream. Zac looked scared and fled, while i screamed and covered my ears and yelled for Zac to save me.
I opened my eyes, and quickly reached over and picked up the phone.
"Hello?" I said with a horse voice.
"Dude! Did you see anything about Zac on the internet?" Kim's voice sounded worried.
"uh..no i was sleeping."
"Get dressed now and come over right away!" She commanded me.
"Okay..." I replied suspicisouly.
"Hurry!" Kim said and then hung up. She sounded almost frantic. Thats weird.
I did as i was told. I have a new style of mine now: Baggy pants, and tightish black shirts it's cool...i think at least. I threw on some clothes, and went into the bathroom to brush my teeth, wash my face, and brush my hair.
I went downstairs, my mom was sitting in her usual spot in the living room, drinking coffee, watching the morning news.
"Hi digs hunny." My mom smiled her motherly smile. I felt alot more love toward her now than i had before. I see that she was doing stuff because she loved me, not beause she wanted to torchure me. As my "battle wounds" healed, my mother and I got really close. Even though that I still have scars that never will go away, I am finding a new life.
"I'm going over to Kim's house...i'll be back later. I think it's about the gig we have tomarrow, probaby something about the equipment." I said doubting myself with every word i spoke.
"oh okay, have fun." My mom turned her gaze to the T.V. realeaseing me.
I hurried the few blocks to Kims house and knocked on the door. A few seconds passed and i knocked again, i was getting impatient. Then she answered the door looking very sympathetic.
"hi digs." She pulled me in, and dragged me to the computer.
"hi" I sat in a seat placed next to her computer.
"Diggins," She turned to me, "I want you to know this, i have no idea how it happened...but...i'm just sorry that i have to tell you."
Kim clicked on a book marked link and then it appeared. My mouth went limp, i stared and stared at it. It wasn't true. Gloom came over head and blanketed me into a cacoon. I felt my stomach drop to the floor, and my heart break all in the same motion. My mind was raceing...he didn't call me the three days he was gone...M2M were going to open for them once again on this tour.
The picture that showed Zac Hanson and Marion from M2M kissing was in front of me. I just couldn't believe it. It was him, nothing cut, pasted, supper imposed...all real. I had to get away from it.
"I have to go..." I got up and walked away, to the door.
"I'm sorry Digs, please don't be mad."
"I'm not mad," I felt tears forming in my eyes, "I just have to go."
"Please call me and tell me you're okay later?" She called after me.
"okay." I yelled back, and ran out of her house.
My next destination...the Hanson house. I practicly ran there i had to stop and catch my breath. I rang the door bell and waited. The kind Diana Hanson opened the door.
"Hi, Diggins. Zac's upstairs, you get the job of wakeing him up." She smiled and moved aside so i could enter.
"Hi Dig-a-bit-da" Avery said to me as i was on my way upstairs.
"hey Avie," she was such a cute little kid all the Hanson little people call me "dig-a-bit-da".
I continued my jaunt upstairs and reached the door frame of Mac, Zac, Tay, and Ike's bedroom. I quietly opened the door, i knew they were all sleeping minus Mac i saw him downstairs. I quietly crept in the room, to Zac's bed. I pulled his covers back a bit to get in bed with him then wrapped my arms around him. He was warm and felt right when i held him, i pulled him close. He shifted his eyes flickered open and stayed on me.
"Hi." He whispered to me.
"Why Zac?" I kept holding him.
"Why what?" He looked confused. That got me pissed, he was going to DENY IT!
"Why were you kissing Marion?" I raised my voice a notch.
"She kissed me, it was by mistake. We were both at the same..."
"Save your excuses Zac." I cut him off, from his explanation.
"Look, listen to me, i know it looks bad but she..." He started.
"I saw the picture Zac, you had your arms around her." I pushed myself away from him and stood, looming over him. Then he got up and we became eye level.
"If you just let me explain, theres an explanation."
"Didn't look like there's an explanation to me. You saw your old girlfriend, overcome by emotions you just had to hug her then kiss her. Then you see her on tour. You didn't call your old lady back home in Oaklahoma" I said oaklahoma like a hick. He looked like he was getting pissed.
"No she asked me for a hug then i couldn't say no, so i gave her a hug. Then she kissed me and a potperatzzie took a picutre." He explained.
I couldn't believe what he was saying to me. It sounded like a lie. I felt tears well up in my eyes, he was starting to yell.
"I think your lieing Zac." I said as i turned my back to him.
Isaac and Taylor were woke up by Zac yelling, and were just stareing at us. Isaac reached down and nudged Taylor and they got out of the room. They looked scared of the scene, like when someone rises in the part of the wedding, "if there is any reason this couple should not wed, speak now or forever hold your piece."
"DAMN IT DIGGINS," He grabbed me by the shoulders and whirled me around, "I'M NOT LIEING!"
That was the first time he swore at me, it hurt like the beating i got a couple months earlier, even more i think. His grip on my shoulders hurt. I felt my chest heave in the anxiety of the momment. Tears over flowed out of my eyes.
"oh Diggins, i didn't mean it." He pulled me close to him, and hugged me. But I didn't return his embrace, i stood there like a child when your weird aunt hugs you and you don't want to hug her back.
"No Zac..." I pushed him away and he stumbled back a few steps, "No."
I ran away from him, as fast as i could. The whole family looked at me weird as i raced through the living room and out of the door. I could hear him yelling, "DIGGINS!" as i got away. I couldn't go home, i didn't know what to do. Shawn! I'll go to Shawn.
I walked slowly, trying to hold back the tears that made me feel like crap. It was hours later when i got there. I walked in and looked at Shawn. He gave me a weird look.
"Whats wrong?" He said walking to me.
"Zac cheated on me." I heard myself say, it didn't sound like me.
A look of surprise spread across his face, "What a jerk."
"Can i chill with you?" I asked him hearing myself again.
"Yeah, but i was just about to go home. Come on i have something to make you feel better." He put his arm around me and led me out the back way to his car. He locked the business door, and then helped me into his jeep. We drove off, i was glad to get away from the area where i lived. It was becomeing to hurtful to be there.
We drove through the city and out into the country. It was nice not to be in the city. We pulled into a drive way that held a big house, a lake, and huge yard. It was all nice and neat, and big. It was all set off deep into the land, far away from the road. Trees hid the house from civilization and shaded the yard.
"We're here." Shawn announced to me.
We both got out, i followed him into his house.
Zac:
"God how could i be so stupid?!" I yelled at myself.
My brothers entered the room and sat on either side of me.
"Where'd she go?" Taylor asked.
"Ha! Like i know. Why did i yell and swear at her?" I kept asking myself.
"Zac it'll be okay, you two can't break up. You know that she loves you, and you love her right?" Ike reasoned. He was always the one to believe that love would pull through and save the day. Love is not that strong, and once someone is betrayed, love is lost then it's over.
"Go find her and tell her that you love her." Taylor said, putting his arm around me.
"Like she's going to buy that."
"Zac, I was awake when she came. She got in bed with you and hugged you, and was like that for a while until you woke up. She loves you, i saw it with my own eyes. Proveing that love conquers all." Ike said proudly. He also put his arm around me. I love my brothers.
"Theres only one thing i can do." i sigh.
"what?"
"Go find her and admit she's right." I looked down.
"Why? Marion kissed you." Ike said.
"Yeah, but i didn't stop her. I even kissed her back. She was right, i did kiss her." I felt like crud, lower than crap.
"Thats not good Zac. You know that she might not take you back." Taylor gave me a sympathic look.
"I know, but if Ike's right and love conquers all, then love will come through for me."
Diggins:
"So When do you have to be home?" Shawn called to me from the other room.
"Ten," I keep thinking about Zac and how much i want to tell him it's no big deal, "i mean nine."
Shawn came into the living room with a joint. He smiled at me.
"Here it's something to make you feel better," he paused and gave me a weird smile, "Lets go on the dock and smoke it." He motioned for me to follow him, we walked out to the dock and sat on the edge of it.
"You take the first hit." He held out the joint and lighter.
I took the objects from his hands. I put the joint between my lips and i flicked the liter and it lit up. My hand covred the joint as i lit it, and inhaled long and slow. I waited and held my breath then exhaled.
"Here you take one." I handed the joint and lighter back to him.
He put the lighter back in his pocket, and took a hit.
"Do you do this alot?" I asked him.
"No, once in a while." He let out the smoke that invaded this lungs.
"Why?" I looked at him, studying him. Seeing something that reflected myself.
"I get so lonely sometimes, and i can't stand it. My little friend, Chewbaca, as i call it helps me through the lonely and depressing times. Why do you think i opened my business, so i don't get so lonely." He handed me the joint.
"That sucks man."
"You know what your doing, why do you do it?" He asked me looking me straight in the eye.
"I haven't done it in a long, long time." I paused and smiled at him, "it's really the first time i've been really pissed and depressed since me and Zac got together."
"What did he do exactly?" He looked out onto the lake, the sun was slowly setting. Letting off orange, red, and purple as it's goodbye message to the world.
"He was photographed kissing his old girlfriend. It crushed me when i saw it. When i asked him about it he denied it. Then there was a fight, yelling, swore at me. It sucked." I took the last hit and put the stub in a flower pot filled with sand.
We both sat in silence for a while, waiting for the Chewbaca to take effect. Letting our feet dangle in the water off the edge of the dock.
"Hey, i know, you'll like this."
"huh?"
Shawn ran off into his house, and then i heard Fat lip by Sum 41 playing all around me. I looked around and saw a series of speakers set here and there around the lake. Shawn came running out of the house, laughing.
"you like it?" He came running up to me, almost clobbering me and comming to a hault.
"It's awesome, CHEWBACA CALLS!" I yelled and started to jump around like i was in a mosh pit. He started to do the same, we would stop and laugh and then keep doing it.
After a couple fast songs were over, a kind of slowish one came on hanging by a moment by lifehouse. I love this song, its just so cool.
"May i have this dance?" He said and we both started to laugh.
"You may, chewbaca." We started to slow dance to the slow beginning.
"desperate for changeing, starving for truth, i'm closer to where i started chaseing after you. I'm falling even more in love with you, i'm letting go of all i've held on to, i'm standing here until you make me move, just hanging by a moment here with you." the song went on and went into a faster part, but we kept slow danceing.
I looked up to see Shawn staring down at me, "hi"
"hey," i barely got out, he moved in close to me and pressed his lips against mine.
"There's nothing else to lose, nothing else to find, there's nothing in the world, that could change my mind, there is nothing ellllssseee, there is nothing ellsse." the song kept going.
The weed had kicked in, but i didn't feel like laughing. I knew what was happening and it was to serious. But i strangely liked what was happening. This smart, cute, funny, nice, rich guy wanted me. But i didn't want him, i loved Zac no matter what he did. I can't betray Zac, i already have though.
We kept danceing as the sun went down, it made me feel better about everything actully. It gave me time to think about things and see what i should do. I looked at my watch, it was almost nine.
"Hey it's almost nine, can you drive me home?" I asked him as we both sat on the dock, everything still. I felt actully tired sort of.
"Okay digums," He got up and looked at me in a weird way. Tilting his head and making his eyes turn to wonder, "I really enjoyed tonight, thank you, for visiting me. I didn't feel that lonely with you here with me." He smiled and turned to go back into the house to get his keys.
"what did i get myself into?" I asked myself very quietly.
"okay, come on." He yelled as he climbed into his jeep. I quickly followed getting into the passengers seat.
I felt very anxious to get back, i needed to see Zac. I just made an important decision and i have to find him.
Zac:
I have been looking for her for hours, i am getting kind of ticked. I looked everywhere and now i am driveing around aimlessly, i keep thinking i have forgot someplace but where? Okay think, think, think, have checked her house, the park, all the other usual places where we hang out. Checked nats house, even made Nat go to the basement. Where else...she wouldn't...if she went to the recording studio. Shawn is so after her, he would strike at her weak moment. Jeeze.
I start to steer my car in the direction of the studio, thats the last place i thought of so...she just might be there. I park my car right in front of the studio and wait. They'll be here, i can smell it.
Okay okay, so it wasn't the smartest thing to kiss your old girlfriend back. What was i suppose to do, push her away? Okay maybe i was suppose to. I am just so slow in these situations. I was so shocked because she kissed me, then i just had that old feeling and kissed her back. Just to see what it was like, to remind myself and then i came to the conclusion i like Digs kiss better. Now i am Digless and i long for kiss and touch and more than anything her forgiveness. I want her to look at me in that loving way and have her gently kiss my lips, and have her arms around my neck and resting on my shoulders, her fingers playing with my hair. Man, how i could reminise.
I hear a car pull up, a stupid jeep to be exact. Then i see what almost makes me blow my top, Diggins comming out of Shawns jeep. I wanted to punch his face in, to be exact. I got out of my Dads car and walked out on the sidewalk then stood there eyeing them both. Once Diggins saw me she smiled that smile that i like. Shawn scowled and drove off.
"ZAAAACCCC!" She yelled as she ran up to me, and hugged me, tightly.
"Hi" this attack made me momentarily forget about what exactly i was mad about. Then again who am I to be mad at her? I know she wouldn't do anything.
"Come to my house, i have to give you something," She whispered into my ear. This excited me, i wonder what shes going to give me.
"Okay," I said. We made our way to my car and drove off to her house.
"So you have a gig tomarrow?" I asked when we were getting out of the car to enter her house.
"Yeah, are you comming?" She looked down, and kept walking to get in.
"Of course, i wouldn't miss it for the world." I replied, she looked me in the eye, finally, and smiled.
She took my hand, and pulled me into the house. A note hung on the refridgarator, "Diggins, went out with chuck, i'll be back around 12 or so. T.V. dinners in freezer, love mom."
I heard her mumble "perfect". She continued to pull me the course to her bedroom. She closed every door behind us, as if to hide us. When we reached her room, she closed the door and smiled again.
"So whats the surprise?" I asked looking around to see if the surprise was sitting around anywhere.
"Sssshh zac, close your eyes." I closed my eyes, and stood there expectantly.
I could feel diggins gingerly touch my chest and run her hands around feeling, exploring, memorizing me. I shivered at her touch. Her hands moved their way up to caress my face, then she kissed me. My arms automatically went around her trapping her, we moved over to her bed and fell on it. We both started to laugh, i guess you have to be there.
"So i guess theres no gift, huh?" I felt stupid immediatly after i said that. I mean, here is Digs who is going to give me her virginity, and i am going to give her mine...fair trade off. But here is Digs, who is going to prove to me that she loves me, and she is going to be mine forever. It's overwelming, and i feel like i've been hit with the love stick in the cranium, my stomach hurts.
"No, but i would like to give you this...I love you Zac and i want to show you that i love you." Her words spilled out her mouth like a sweet necter that i have never had.
She began with my mouth, and then layed kisses down to my neck. I couldn't believe that this is happening, it's so unreal. My hands moved around her body feeling it's every terrian, stopping at the bottom of her shirt, i pulled it up and over her head then flinged it on the floor somwhere along with my own. Some scars had appeared on her. I put kisses on all of them.
"Are you sure Diggins?" I said as our pants were being flung on her floor, so close to being naked.
"Yes," She pulled me on her and kissed me to reasure me it was okay.
I haved reached back and am currently trying to undo her bra, it's very hard actully. She suddenly takes my hand as if to stop me, which makes me jump.
"Do you want to do this, are you ready?" She asks me, getting me off guard.
"Yes, with all my heart." I reply, and i am telling the truth.
I go back to trying to undo her bra, she senses i'm having a problem and undoes it herself. I laugh nervously, i'll get better with time...I hope. I pull it off her, and that finds itself on the floor too, evil thing thats really hard to get off!
JEEZE! I can feel myself getting hard, it's starting to stand up. She somehow gets my boxers off, that only makes me more excited, and reminds me of one little detail...I don't have a condom. I decided to worry about that later, and involve myself with slideing her undies down her legs and throwing them really high in the air. They get caught on the ceiling fan. We both look up and have a laugh at it, it is quite funny.
I decided now is the time to tell her, "Uh...Digs?"
"Hmm..." She looks absolutly beautiful lyeing under me. Her face gentle and slightly pink.
"I don't have a condom." I feel bad because i know if she doesn't have any, anywhere, we can't do it.
"Hold on i can get one for you." I move so she can get up. I thought for sure she was going to hide herself with a blanket or something. She got up, totally naked, which needless to say sent me into over drive. I could feel my litte man become very uncomfortable.
Diggins went over to her closet, stuck her hand in one of her pockets, and pulled out a pack of condoms. How did she know? I guess she was just being safe. She pulled out a condom and from the box and came back over to the bed where i lay. She got into bed next to me and handed the condom to me.
I took it and opened it. I turned over putting my back to her. I read the directions on the back of the little package. I hope i don't screw this up. I eased it on, trying to obey everything that it said about the right way to put it on. Leave a itty bitty space at the end so theres some room when i have an ejackulate, blah blah blah blah. I looked down at the enraged penis and the flesh colored condom. I never thought this would happen, and now that it is, i am very nervous.
I turned back over and faced Digs, who was patiently waiting for me to be done. I layed a gentle kiss on her cheek.
"you ready?" I asked, getting on her. I read somewhere its more pleasurable if the guy's on top and girl's on bottom.
"I love you Zac." She responded, which means...yes.
She put her arms around my mid-back and parted her legs so they are on either side of me, which is crucial for this position. I held onto her as i eased myself into her, to start sexual intercourse. She breathed in deeply as i breathed out. It felt real good, at least on this end...for the first plunge into the unknown, it felt pretty good. I could actully feel the emotions in the both of us. I wanted to kiss her and tell her how much i love her, and that i will always love her and want her, even when were old. It was unexplainable how i felt about Diggins now that we are doing this. The emotions ran through me like i was nothing. Tears of pure joy and love fell from my eyes and hit Diggins on her radiant face.
Diggins:
It felt weird when Zac had entered me, pain and pleasure at the same time. A foregin feeling to have, yet i liked it. Happiness, joy, love, it all entered my veins. I felt tears hit my face, i looked up at Zac and saw the tears falling from his eyes. They didn't cease falling on me, and made me start to shed tears. I held him tightly to me as he kept pulseing in and out of me.
"I love you," Zac whispered to me several times.
"I love you too," I said back to him.
My body did a sudden jump, my head was flung back, and my body was lurched forward. My breathing was sudden and heavy, i let out a moan of sorts. I think it was an orgasm. The pleasure i felt was immense and glorious.
Zac was doing the same thing, he looked like he was dizzy. He kept in going in and out until his breathing returned to normal, and then he stopped and rolled off next to me. He moved his head to mine and kissed me lightly. His tears kept comming, i held him and kissed him until he stopped.
Zac:
Woah i never dreamed that it was like that. I couldn't help the tears, i was so taken in the moment that they just wouldn't stop. Diggins held me until they ceased. I can't believe i caused her to have an orgasm. I heard that it's really hard to make a women have an orgasm, or was i lied to? Anyway, it was great...it was simultanous with my own orgasm.
"J'aime tout au sujet de vous. Vos yeux brun-foncé. Vos lèvres molles et douces qui me tentent pour vous embrasser. Vous sentez si doux quand jamais je viens près de vous. Je veux toucher votre joue molle et embrasser vos lèvres molles jusqu' au beau lever de soleil." She kept saying, making it sound beautiful. I remember she said that to me when we first met. That made me cry too.
I place my head on the part of her chest where her heart is, and listen. Her heart is steady and strong, and now i know that i have helped her heal. I shift my position and pull her to me so her head is rested on my chest, and i take her advice and close my eyes and feel her breathing go into automatic as she falls asleep and i am soon also asleep. I have the love of my life, were in bed together, we have made love, she is mine, thats all i need.
The next thing i knew it was morning, i looked over to see Digs still next to me sleeping. I smiled and felt something that was missing forever in me finally in place. I think she actully helped me heal too. I shifted a bit and her eyes flickered open.
"Hi," She looked at me, her eyes so blue.
"How you feeling?" I asked suddenly concerned that i might have hurt her.
"I'm fine why?" She leaned over and brushed her lips on mine, "Didn't you have to be home last night?"
"Yeah, but i can tell my parents and they will understand." I know my parents and they won't yell, they will understand.
Diggins eyes widened, "You can't tell them!"
"Why? They are fine with it."
"Why would they be fine with it? Were you a virgin before we had sex last night?" It shocked me at how suspicious she was of me.
"No, we've had talks before. Why are you suspicious?" I countered her attack.
"I don't know, jumpy i guess," She moved herself to the top of me and pressed her perky breasts to me and tangled her legs with mine, "was it good for you?"
I laughed at the over said line, "Yeah, was it good for you?"
"oh yeah." She lay gazeing at me for a minute, "Crap we have to get showered and dressed before my mom gets up. We have a gig today, a big one!"
"When does she get up?"
"Lets see like in about an hour to forty five minutes, but it varies. Looks like we must shower together." She got up and hurried to her door and wrapped a towel around her. Then threw one at me, "Lets go."
We both made our way to the bathroom, I sat on the closed toilet as digs adjusted the shower to the right temperature. I still was not used to the nakedness.
"Okay come on, the waters fine." She got in and motioned for me to follow.
"Okay." I awardly stepped into the tub and under the water that splashed us both.
Jeeze. So it's really silent, for a few moments. Then out of nowhere she reaches around me and kisses me. I go along with it, but i'm kind of wondering whats going to happen next.
"Sorry i just had to do that." She smirked, because she quoted me from the weirdo kiss i gave her from months ago.
She turned to me and squirted shampoo into her hand then worked it into in her hair. Then grabbed the soap and lathered it all over her body. I stood staring at her, i can't believe that i'm in a shower with a girl, naked. The worst thing possible happened to spoil the whole thing, it raised from the dead. I blushed and tried to quickly get it to go down. It didn't work, so i covered it with my hands when she turned around.
Diggins:
He looked really funny like that, standing looking like he's lost in the shower, with his hands covering his you know what.
"Are you going to wash?" I asked him, smirking.
"No." He was blushing like crazy.
"Do it." I commanded him.
"No."
"okay, then i'll do it for you." I grabbed the soap from the dish in the wall and ran it along the flesh on his upper body. I felt him shiver by my touch.