Diary Archive 3:

Entries #11-15

Friendships to Remember: Diary Entry #11 Wednesday May 29, 2002, 4:15 pm

Dude, like I said (see Too Bad Her Last Name isn't Aguilera: Diary Entry #9), easiest $20 I ever made!

Anywho, so we set off on our journey this morning. I called Kara, and she was all like "Let's do it gurl!" and was really pissed at David for being so mean to me. She told me that it wasn't true, that he was just being a total biyatch, but ... there is a truth behind every rumor, if you know where to look.

So we went this morning and kidnapped Monica (who wasn't reluctant about anything except giving me my $20!). Then, we set off in Kara's new Suburban, with Kara driving and me riding shot gun, and Monica all by her little lonesome in the back (awwwwww!!). First, we decided to go up north, to New York City. We barely made any stops on the way (except to use the rest area--and NOT becuz we had to pee! Damn Taco Bell!!! They really know what they're talkin' about when they say south of the border *grumble grumble* although I bet actually they mean south of the BELT!!!) and it only took us about 5 hours or so to get here. (New York City?!?!) Hahaha, I love those Old El Paso commercials! They crack me up.

Anywho! So now we're in New York City, in Kara's cousin's ex-girlfriend's ex-sister-in-law's ex-stepsister's apartment. Her name is Christine (Hey Christine, wazza???) And, yes, I have my trusty laptop with me! So don't worry about me y'all, holla holla!

So we decided to take in the sites ... did you know, they just took the last beam from Ground Zero?!?! We just had to go see. It's sooo sad, I used to come and visit New York, and go to those buildings, and now they're not even there anymore! It's really kinda depressing. That makes me soooo sad. Kara, Monica and I huddled together, crying. Or maybe it was just me and my hormones. Who knows?

But now we're all settled in, although at first Christine was surprised to see us here, which I know because we kind of interrupted her in the middle of something with her ex-girlfriend's husband. o_0 But anyway, that's not for me to judge (hahaha, that would be phunny!) so, yeah, whatever. But we're staying over at her place tonight, and I get the futon in the living room!! Which means that bathroom visits will be much more easier and accessible for me than the others (Damn Taco Bell!!!)

Tomorrow I think we're going to just chill out in the city ... you know the drill ... just hang and do all those touristy type things that tourists always do, because, guess what? We're tourists! And then on Friday we're going to fill up on gas and head out onto the open road again, although we're having some disagreements about where we are going, although we all agreed that the final destination is California, where we can hang with all of Kara's Kali friends.

Oh, yeah, and we also have a deadline by which to get back. Monica's graduation is June 14th ... so we have to be back by then or else it's bye-bye diploma for Mon-mon!

Krazy Kara: Diary Entry #12 Sunday June 2, 2002, 4:26 pm

Wooh ... these past several days have been totally INSANE!! Ok, on Wednesday, we were at Christine's place. Then, that night, around 3 am, Monica woke me up saying "we have to go back!" and i wuz like "why?" and she told me that she'd completely forgotten that her SENIOR THESIS wuz due THE VERY FRIGGIN NEXT DAY!! I wuz like, "MONICA YOU IDIOT!!!" but that's besides the point. So we woke up Kara and drove back down to dc in time for Monica to run home, get her stuff, and take it to skewl. But then ... well, we were just so tired, we decided, why bother with the whole journey thing, anyway?

So, we stayed here. But then, the krazy stuff REALLY started to happen! Monica's parents had a major fight, and there was a lot of fruit/pot/weed/furniture going on in her house, so she came over and had a sleep over with me on thursday. Her parents are so screwed up, and she's kinda scared to go back there, so she's going to stay at my place for awhile, at least until graduation, maybe longer.

Anyway, so on Thursday night, Monica was sleeping over. Then, around like 1 o'clock in the morning, I hear something outside. I wake up, and realize someone is throwing pebbles at my window! So I go over and open the window---and a pebble hits me right between the eyes! Ouch!

But anyway, who else would it be but Kara? She has also been having some problems at her house ... and she couldn't take it anymore, either. Poor thing. So she's going to be staying with us, too, for awhile. Which is cool, cuz now we can carpool! Anyway, everyone's home lives are sucking totally off the charts right now ... it's insane! I really don't understand it like at all ... but then again, my home life ALWAYS sucked, so nothing different there!

Anyway, friday we went to work, and that was cool. Then we came home, and decided to hang out with Jared and Nina ... the cute little devils! So we took them out for some ice cream, and while we were there, this guy came up to Kara and kissed her right on the lips! I was like "Kara, who's the hunk?" and she started blushing and stuff, and being like, "No one" and she told him to go away and the poor boy looked so hurt--but the thing is, he couldn't possibly be a day over 16!! Which would be so TOTALLY illegal! I was like "Kara..." and she gave me a telling glance, looking at the kids as if to say "not now." So I filed it away in my brain for later. Kara and I were going to have to have a talk.

So we got home and I was like "Kara, what was up with that?" and then she totally blew up in my face, and stormed out. I think she spent the night with him, because I knew she had no intention of going home anytime soon. So Monica and I were left to our own devices that night, while Kara was acting totally out of character. I mean, a secret boyfriend? And even more than that, a secret, underage boyfriend? Kara LOVES older guys (although sometimes she'll date a younger gurl). But even if she were dating someone younger than Monica ... why would she hide it from us, her best friends? I mean, who else could she turn to if she had relationship problems or whatever? It kinda freaks me out, that she's not being completely honest and open about her new relationship. I'm beginning to get a little bit scared. I'm definitely going to check into it, starting tomorrow.

But anywho, saturday I worked on my lovely website, Sexy Government's Online Brothel: Patriotic Prostitution. It's really great, you should all go see it! Ahem. Anywho, Monica had gone off somewhere, I think someone's graduation party, but after what I did the last time I went to one of her friends' parties .... well, we decided that I shouldn't go. Plus, I don't drink anymore. So, she told me she was going to sleep over there since she didn't have a designated driver or anything to bring her back. I told her not to do anything too wild, and to keep her hymen intact (God, I'm sounding just like a mother now, aren't I? Must be all those pregnant, nurturing hormones that have taken over my body!). And she came home today around noon, looking perfectly fine. God, my own life has been so tame since I learned of my pregnancy ... whereas my friends' lives have turned completely upside down! It's totally Krazy. Just like Kara.

Kara's Freeloading Friends: Diary Entry #13 Tuesday June 4, 2002, 1:57 am

Like I said, Kara didn't return home on Saturday ... or Sunday. I was worried krazy about her--her mom called, wondering where she was, and I said she just was feeling under the weather and made up some story about laryngitis or something, as a plausible reason why she couldn't come to the phone at the moment, or anytime in the near future.

OMG, I was soooo mad at Kara!! How could the gurl do this to me, just move in one day and move out the next, and not even tell anyone where she was? To make things even worse, I called her cell, and there was no answer. At first I thought she might be avoiding me, so I turned off my call id sending thingie, but she STILL didn't pick up the damn phone! Well, actually I think it was turned off, cuz voicemail came on the first ring the second time. But even though I left like twenty different scathing messages about how she should stop acting like a spoiled teenager and cum home and talk to me, there was no response. I got soooo worried, it's not even funny. I know I was hiding it from everyone, pretending to be all happy and stuff, but ... no. It just doesn't work like that.

Anyway, I saw Kara today. She tried to avoid me, but I finally managed to corner her by the watercooler. She had no choice but to tell me the whole, sordid story.

Ok, here goes. Back when Kara was in high school, she babysat for a little boy named Billy. He was a cute little boy, and they became friends, despite their six-year age difference. So, when she went away to college, they agreed to stay in touch. And they did, through IM and email and phone conversations and stuff--although strangely enough, Kara never told me ANY of this stuff, or Monica either, and we are like her two best non-Kali friends...although apparently she didn't tell any of her Kali friends, either what was going on beneath their noses. o_0

So anywho, they stayed in touch and when she came home to visit, she'd see him and hang out with him and stuff. Now, here's the part that I didn't know ... Kara's eternally single stuff--it's by choice, not by chance. That's right. She's been saving herself for this little virgin (who is, by the way, totally head-over-heels in love with her) for the past who knows how many years, or at least since he hit puberty. I mean, that whole thing with Maria ... basically, what Kara told me was that they had had a fight, she and Billy, and she was rebounding a little bit ... until she saw him again, that is. And although it seemed like Maria broke her heart, it really wasn't that way at all. It was more hurt pride than anything else. And despite how easily I was able to get Maria into bed, Kara didn't sleep with her ... I guess it was out of some sense of fidelity towards Billy, because, trust me, this gurl has it BAD for him! She is soooo in love with him, it's almost painful to watch.

So I asked where she spent the weekend ... as I had thought, she was at his house, although she claims that nothing happened except for a little making-out, because she doesn't want to pop his cherry just yet. I don't know what the deal is there--maybe the illegalness of it all, the 22 year old vixen just returned from college to seduce her former baby-sitting charge, a young, impressionable 16-year-old with his entire future ahead of him. Or something like that. But Kara ... she's a lot more multi-faceted than even I had thought, and I can usually see people for the contradictions that they are (after all, we're all contradictions in one way or another, right dudettes?). I just hope that neither of them gets their heart broken, as often happens in a may-december romance such as this. I don't know ... but I guess as long as there is hope, there's a chance for something good to cum of all this. I just hope Kara knows what she's getting into.

Anyway, so she came back home with me tonight. We hung out, talked, bonded a little bit, shared things with each other that we hadn't before ... like she told me how much she misses all her Kali friends. Like, Monica and I are great and all, but most of her interaction with us over the past few years has been through the internet, you know, email and IM and stuff, as opposed to actual, physical human contact--although, there were those summers! The summers that we will never forget (some of which, unfortunately, I wasted with Daphne and now regret). But with her Kali friends, that she had for those four years, she really had a chance to bond with them, kinda the way I bonded with Monica. Honestly, I think the reason that Monica is my "best friend" as opposed to her sharing that title with Kara is just because of proximity, and the actual amount of which we have been able to bond. In reality, whenever Kara's here it's ALWAYS the three of us, we are inseparable. It's not me and monica, best friends, and then Kara, our other friend, the third wheel, tagging along. It's not like that at all! I think I'm just cumming to understand this, maybe, that it's ok to have more than one best friend ... I hope Monica doesn't mind...but actually, I think she feels the same way I do about Kara, she is just maybe afraid to say anything, either that or she doesn't even realize how she feels.

Heh, here I go, putting feelings into peoples' heads before they even know what's gonna hit 'em! Oh, well. Someone's gotta do it sometime, right? And who better than me.

Anywho, I have a funny story to tell about my sister. But it's late, and Kara and Monica are already asleep so I should join them so they don't wake me up TOO early. I'll tell you tomorrow the funny story about my sister. Actually ... it's not even completely finished. So nevermind...once the story has reached its conclusion, I shall tell it in all its fabled glory, for everyone to hear. heh, won't it be grand?

Cynthia's Shocking Secret: Diary Entry #14 Wednesday June 5, 2002, 2:45 am

Yes, yes, I know. What is your secret, Cynthia, and why is it so shocking? First off, let me just quell a rumor that's been circulating for the past who know's how long: No, i do NOT have breast implants!! These babies are as real as can be, and more real than my ex-step-dad's hair, I can tell you that much for sure!

Ahem, anyway, back to the secret. It's not really mine ... although I guess it is mine to tell. It's more a family secret. A Govern-Brown family secret.

Perhaps I should explain. My mom's maiden name was Lauren Putzkirski (so I'm Polish. Sue me.) Anyway, she met this dude, Samuel Govern. She thought he was hot, and she was kind of a little slut, so she married him. Not that she was faithful or anything--my mom was a bit of an adulteress. You know. But anyway, they had a kid together, my sister Carol. And shortly after her birth, when she was just a few months old, her dad walked in on her mom while she was, er ... "doing" someone else. So, they got divorced. During the divorce proceedings, in order to get a better settlement, my mom slept with her dad's lawyer, Norman Brown. He became infatuated with her, and did a horrible job so that she got the better end of the deal than my father. Then, daddy dumped his client, and married his ex-client's ex-wife.

Phew! That's a lot of machinations and feminine wiles to take in at one time, isn't it? But it doesn't end there! My parents then did the nasty and conceived me, although they both cheated on each other, but the weird thing was, they were both totally ok with it, they had kind of an open marriage thing going on, i guess. Anywho, things were great for both of them--the stability of marriage, a family to come home to, but no restrictions on promiscuous activity. Until, that is, my mom fell in love, for the first time in her life. His name was Harold Williamson, and he was younger than her and a lot more virile than my father. She began to get hot and heavey with just one guy, which made my father kind of nervous. Anyway, Harold finally gave her an ultimatum--marry him and move with him to his farm in South Dakota, or live without him for the rest of her life. Mom couldn't take this, so she ran away with him and divorced my dad.

Now, dad didn't take this very well at all. He cried and cried, and it was even weirder because mom had custody of both me and Carol, but when she left she left both of us with him. Not only did his wife just leave him, she left him with her kids ... one of whom was not even his.

So, after that, he split us up, and sent Carol to live with her dad. The only real problem was that Carol was 16 and several months pregnant at the time. And she had to move in not only with her dad, but with her dad's new family, as well--including her half-brother and step-brothers. And when I say her dad's "new" family, I mean of course the family he formed after she was born--her half brother is, after all, only a few years younger than myself!

Anyway, I was only 12 at the time, and completely torn apart by my parents divorce. It was only a short time later when I began hanging out with an older crowd, dating Sam, and losing my heart--and my hymen--to him. And after I was not a virgin, not yet a slut, my daddy died, and i wuz left all alone. By that time, Mom had grown dissatisfied with Harold and his decreasing, err, "vitality," so she came back home and divorced him, and Carol, Jared and I moved in with her again as one big, happy family.

Anyway, that's not the point here. The point here is that, Carol has another family (although, just for the record, her dad and step-mom split up shortly after Carol moved back in with us). And, we live in a 5-bedroom house, and each of us has our own bedroom--Carol, Nina, Jared, and myself. Since Kara and Monica have moved in, they've been sleeping on little trundle bed thingies in my room. So we still have a free bedroom--the "guest" bedroom, as we call it, since it's where guests would stay, if we ever had any guests over at our house, which we don't.

But anyway. So this morning, I'm about to leave for work when there's a knock on the door. A hobo-ish looking man (tall, raggedy clothes, scraggly hair/beard) is standing there, with some suitcases. I'm like "hello, can i help you?" and he's like "yeah, is this Carol Govern's house?" and i'm like "umm, yeah, why?" and then Jared rushes past me shouting "Uncle Leo, Uncle Leo!" and I found out that this dude is actually Carol's half-brother, Leo, from her dad's side.

So Leo comes in, and apparently he just got fired from his internet job in New York City, so he came down here to try and get a position for the government, something I think to do with the CIA (because Carol works for that agency--as a BUREAUCRAT, not an actual CIA agent or anything, she just does like paperwork and an office job and stuff dealing with the agency), and like espionage-hacking or something like that, because he's a VERY good hacker, or so I've heard, he even hacked into the government computers once upon a time! Wow, that was soooo cool! ....although I guess I shouldn't really be saying that, should I, since after all I DO work for the government myself. Hmmm ... But anyway.

So, Leo came in, and he's taking over the guestroom. I went out to work as usual, but then when I came home ... oh, lord. Leo was there, and he was all cleaned up.

OMG, he is soooooo f'in HOT! I mean, seriously, he has to be the HOTTEST man I have EVER seen!! He put on some nice clothes, had a bath, got his hair cut (not scraggly but not too short) and got his beard trimmed to the CUTEST little goatee I have EVER seen!! The minute I saw him, my loins went into over-drive, baby!!

The only problem is, he's my sister's half-brother. Well, technically, half-sister's half-brother. What does that make him to me? We're certainly not any blood relation! But he IS blood-related to my sister, and her childrens' uncle.

The problem is, I'm not the only one who feels this way. He feels this way about me, too. I could see it in his eyes when he looked at me, watched my hips swaying seductively as I crossed the room towards him, and then stood on my toes and kissed him (yes, it's true, I, Cynthia Brown, the 6 foot tall woman, had to STAND ON MY TOES to kiss a guy!! WHILE wearing heels!! I AM IN HEAVEN HE IS MY PERFECT MAN!!!)

So, we kissed ... long, and passionately. It wasn't really making out, it was only a single kiss. But it shook us both, deep to our cores. We both shook with our passion, and were both incredibly aroused. But there are so many things keeping us apart--my pregnancy, his relationship with my sister and her children, the fact that we just met each other this morning--that my mind is just so confused. Could it just be my pregnancy hormones? Or is it something more that draws the two of us to one another? I don't know, I am so confused ... all I know is that I think I might possibly be able to someday, if things turn out the way and circumstnaces don't get in the way, love him.

And that's enough for me. For now.

WTF: My Life as a Soap Opera Star Continues!: Diary Entry #15 Wednesday June 12, 2002, 8:13 pm

Well, I'm missing Dawson's right now, so I'll make this quick.

First of all, on Wednesday ... well ... suffice it to say, when Leo waltzed in that door, I wuz stunned. And then, the sparkx between us were flying ... and we just couldn't contain our passion ... so, despite the awful weather, we went away on thursday, to this nice little bed and breakfast place that he knows of in new jersey. And we spent the weekend there, unleashing out passion ... it wuz a VERY passionate weekend! He is, honestly, one of the best men I have ever been with! And he's definitely better than most of the women I've been with,too!

Everything seems to point to us being soulmates. I mean, not only are we compatible in bed, but also we are compatible out of bed, too! He's sooo sexy, and sooo sweet, yet strong, and tender, all at the same time. It's hard to describe it--his personality is so complex, yet it meshes so well with mine! We get along great ... Honestly, I think that this mite be the big "L" ... if you know what I mean! Although maybe not, but I seriously have some hopes this time!

The only problem though, is my baby. I still haven't told him about it (him? her?) yet ... I don't know what to do! I'm so afraid, that he'll be like all other men (and women) and not want to be saddled with a woman who has a baby on the way ... it's been hard enough, trying to hide my morning sickness over the weekend, blaming it on the oysters, or clams,or any other seafood I could think of. It's soo hard having a secret ... after all, my baby should be the most important person in my life! I shouldn't be forced to hide it (him? her?) from a man who could possibly be my soulmate. He should either accept me and my baby, together, as a package, or ... he should be out of our lives.

Oh, god. I'm so confused. But that's not the only thing that happened! Also, this weekend ... we were robbed! ROBBED!!!!

Okay, I know you want the dish on what happened, so let me spill it to ya strate. It wuz on Sunday, before we got back (we got back on monday). What happened wuz, Monica and Kara (who r still living w/us and will be for the indefinite future) were out somewhere, like doing the grocery shopping or something, and Leo and i were ... well, u know. and carol had to go pick up the kidz from some place. So she left the door unlocked, cuz Mon mon and Kare bare still don't have keyes, and they were supposed to be home ne minute now, but she couldn't wate for them ne longer. So, she left, and the door wuz unlocked, and ajar. So when Monica and Kara came back (about 5-10 minutes later), they found the door wide open, and stuff wuz gone!! they didn't take much ... just like sum toyz and stuff, and a couch, too. and that wuz about it. they didn't take the tv or computer or nething .. which kinda confused me. But anyway, it wuz sad, cuz they took Nina's favorite doll, and she kried her lil eyez out sooo hard, and i am soo sad for her, and myself, and carol ... and with leo, well... no one knows about that. i haven't even told monica and kara. altho, they visit my site daily, so ... i guess they'll know about it now! and carol, too. ick. that could be a definite problem-o. *sigh* oh well ... i really like him, and he likes me ... but what about my bay-bee??!?! I'm soo confused ...