(~) You start squinting when you smile, just because you've noticed that Paige squints when he smiles too!
(~) You wear a cowboy hat like Paige's and also claim you "found it at a bus stop"
(~) You go around saying "Smack an ass"
(~) Circus magazine have BEGGED you to stop harrasing them for more Orgy posters/Solo Paige posters!
(~) In fact, ALL ROCK MAGAZINES have begged you to stop harassing them!
(~) You call yourself Paige or Mrs. Haley (Huh, shut up Kate, you're not better MRS. GORDON!... as if you _would!_)
(~) You are obsessed with the Cure, and you're not a Goth or from the 80's... *a pox on thee!*
(~) You have finally hit rock bottom and deluded yourself into believing that you are Paige Haley
(~) You can play all the Orgy Bass tabs on the Kazoo because you can't play/afford a g-bass
(~) Your eyes arn't blue but you wish they were
(~) You are having trouble typing because your back is twisted at an irregular angle because you can shove those humongous platforms under the desk but you endure the spine twisting pain just because Paige wears four and a half inch platforms so YOU TOO must wear them!
(~) You developed Paige's smokers cough, yet you don't smoke???
(~) Your computer screen back ground is "The many faces of Paige Haley"
(~) You went out and got your self a mohawk!
(~) You call your best friend "Jay"
(~) You are in a specialized pyshc ward for 'Paigefuckers'
(~) You jot down on you're census form that your religion is 'Haleyism'
(~) Suprise Surpise you've just established a sect cult stemming from the established Orgyism E-Creed called 'Haleyism'
(~) You are the Pope of Haleyism
(~) You refer to yourself as His/Her Holiness Pope [Youre name here] The 3rd
(~) You wrote a song, and it goes a little like this:

*6. Teach your little brother how to wrap a mic cord around his neck.. if a mic isn't available, improvise, a vacuum cleaner or toaster cord works just as well, just don't electrocute him, he might end up looking like Paige
*7. Electrocute your little brother to make him look like Paige
(Just because I found it very amusing!)

(~) People don't call you by your real name - you respond only to "Paige" or "Mrs. Haley" (which is really just kinda demented!)
(~) You're a regular at the Orgy chat and you won't shut up about Paige
(~) You've successfully convinced unwitting chatters that you are Paige from Orgy
(~) You've added like 10 more reasons to this list
(~) You print out every single picture of Paige that you can find, wall papered the walls, school books, yourself, the inside of bathroom stalls, other people....
(~) There's so much Paige/Jay, Paige/Amir slash on your computer government authorities think you're a porn traffiker and have tried to arrest you
(~) You went absoultly insane when people started picking on Paige's weight on DDD (those bastards!)
(~) Your Winamp skin is Paige
(~) You dress up as Paige for Halloween/Christmas/Easter/Sunday/St Patricks/Monday, Tuesday....
(~) Even Paige himself stops fixes his hair, checks his teeth, pouts and winks at what he thinks is his reflection but then it moves - then he relises its you and runs the fuck away (If that happened to me I know it'd scare the shit outta me too!)

($) <- These were nicked from Human God

($)You convince yourself that your posters of Paige on your wall, are really alive and they actually answer back when you to talk to them.
($) You make a life-size mannequin of Paige... and do things to it. hehehe
($) You carved Paige's name into your arm with a knife.

(~) You are not aloud to use any cutlery, not even the plastic ones for reason above (Added by Annie X)

($) You dream about Paige asking you to marry him.
($) The only way your parents make you behave is to threaten to kill Paige.
($) You say "Paige" more than a hundred times a day.
($) When you first heard Paige's voice, you had an orgasm. A really big one.
($) You will kill anyone who calls Paige "fat".

(~) You have killed and will kill again for thr reason above (Also added by Annie)

($) You will kill anyone who makes fun of Paige.
($) You get mad at the other band members because they don't let Paige talk enough.
($) Your future child's name will be Paige. Just like he/she's daddy.
($) You don't have orgasms, you have Paigegasms.
($) You spend all of your life-savings on Orgy concerts just to see Paige.
($) Paige knows you as that "Psycho-Who-Constantly-Stalks-Me".
($) Even a restriction order cannot stop you.
($) You don't love your boyfriend---you're only with him because he's a dead ringer for Paige.
($) You kiss *every single* Paige picture you own before going to sleep
($) You put glow in the dark stars on your ceiling just so you can spell out Paige's name. You do this because you want Paige's name to be the last thing you see before you go to sleep.

(~) Your slash site has a musical disclaimer that goes a little like this....