I just got back from going and getting dinner., a qurt. of chicken friend rice. mmmmmmmmm. it's good to eat close to nothing. eat enough to stay alive. that's what I say. no but I shouldn't kid myself, I've been doing good. I eat atleast one thing for breakfast, lunch and dinner. not the whole one sandwhich all day and you'll be fine, and when you get depressed eat enough Twinkie's to explode. I am going to get better, cause everything gets better after a while. right?

after the storm, thiers always a beautiful rainbow to whipe away the tear's.

right?

tomrrow, Im going in early to do a project thing with Mr. Struther. Were gonna mess with slow shutter speed, slow flash speed, so everything blured. itll be cool. plus I gotta leave riht after school, psych op. It's all me this week, which is like good cause i need it. I think were gonna foucus on me hating everyone atleast 10% and my family life. or lack of family life.

things get better.

things get better. things get better. things get better. things get better. things get better. things get better. things get better. things get better. things get better. things get better.

in recent news, Im interested in corupting a young boy. hehe. Mike is really nice, to nice. sugar sweet nice. I wanna like suck the sugar from his tiny little ska body. haha!!! that sounds so sexual. no but really, he's so cuiet and nice, I wanna like not so much destroy that, but um, take away, from it. I want him to not be inocent. and defintley not with that little anpoying ska bitch megan.

I do not want to sleep with Mike. just so I know, cause I don't. But! I need to corupt him! That's my goal for this year. Corupt. Mike

{internet note: good lord, this is a problem with publishing this openly, mike if you see this, um hi! and everyone else :-P ;-D}

I was walkin home today, because the bus driver fucked up my spot, and all of the sudden "honk honk". And thiers this lil green car, and im all "alright mother fucker, I dont want to have to deal with child molesters". And Mr. H. is wavin. So he pulls over, and say's his hello's, tells me to come and vist him, such and such, and I was like "wow, if i didnt miss my stop, I wouldnt have talked to mr h.!" awsome ness.

i think my coruption dream is/was short lived. sugar sweet boys should stay sugar sweet boys. Ive already corupted to many young boys, no time for more. {plus hes got this little girlfriend, who prolly likes that sugar sweet thing}

speaking of corupting little boys, I need to go see my Bo-Bo, and Nick {you are the perfect drug.} I think if I'm home to night and not a Kris's, I'll call nick. I miss him alot. Alot of alot. My sweet, not so little anymore, boy. I'm hoping he's still like's me, cause I miss havin that someone. It's still wierd to me, to have him be all "i love you" shit, and write me back, and keep my notes, when a year before I was hopeless over him.

I always want that something that I can never have, and when I want it, and when I get it, it never works.

"super evil, super jadded, but never sad sad sad!"- Jack Off Jill

i think mike thinks I like him now, that'll be ackward. Even though he is such a lil cuitey, its that sugar-sweet dollie-I-wanna-keep-on-my-shelf kinda thing. im sure he's got this sadomasocist, super sadist thing workin beneath the covers. still like to keep him as a dollie.

no

prolly not

he wouldnt wanna be my dollie. nobody does.....shannan maybe. not so much now, since i decided to take a "break" from us. no body wants me to be thier dollie. not unless Im a blow up dollie. blow up dollies, :-0. haha!!!

Pretty Pretty Princess Blow Up Dollie.

:-o :-O :-O

shannan is always on my mind, every moment of eveyday. I need her here, and I cant have her heere, and Im so hopelessly in love with her, its getting sickening. and it shouldnt be that. cause I love her. alot. to much? i dont know. thats what a break is for. no letters, no emails, no online chats, no phone calls.

christ. i hate this. {E.N.: I love you shannan. akot. and never to much, right?}

{EN: Mike doesn't think I like him. so if your worring, doubt u were, u can sleep easy now}