im in kearbys class right now. were talking about sucide, its getting to me. i really really cant stand this anymore. i dont know that i want. do I want help? i want, dont i?

latter

Kearby told us to observie people, but dont let them know your observing them. i was actually not talking at lunch, very silent. i ate. im serious, i had two things of cookies a mr good bar and a wild cherry pepsi. i felt like a fat ass, but I was so fucking sad. I don't really know why though. I'm usually sad, but I never shut up. I think, maybe, I talk alot because I don't want to think, and I like to hear my own voice. I always say, "yea i like to hear my own voice.", and it's sad when I talk to myself. Ok so that's normal, but still.Kearby amazes me sometimes.

have you ever shook a bottle for a long pierod of time, jsut to see if it explodes? Well yesterday the cap blew. that cap blew into fucking outerspace. now i dont want to go hme {in bearows, 3b} i dont wanna go home to face him or her. i dont know where im going, or what im going to do. be it boarding school or mental assylum, i dont care. head held high, sholders back i guesse. anything is better than this. todays is actually going suprisingly well. adam was inciting fights today and it made me smile. all i want to do is talk to dustin {how odd does that sound?:)} all I want.

hykus are becoming cool {lets see if i can remeber!!}:

the clouds begin to form

tears of the dead fall hard

to wash me away