Bambi blinked his innocent, glossy deer eyes into the warm sunshine of his disney forest home...but something felt amiss. He thoughtfully chewed the bark on a friendly tree as he noted that the forest seemed more quiet than usual - an uncomfortable kind of quiet. He delicately sniffed the air with his obnoxiously cute black deer nose. He got a whiff of something he had smelled before...MAN.
Cautiously, with tiny adorable steps, he made his way along the forest floor. He stopped suddenly, as he noticed strange things were hanging from the trees above....someone had tied bundles of sticks together in odd shapes. "This is surely the doing of MAN." thought Bambi as his flicked his ears in a sickening sweet way. As he daintly pawed onward, he noticed more of the stick shapes hanging from tree branches, surrounding him. Upon closer inspection, he found that they were shaped suspiciously like bunnies. "Whatever can that mean?" he mused in his typical naive disney manner.
The forest seemed to darken as he continued on. Bambi was gingerly stepping over some broken branches when he noticed up ahead there was a decayed log with something resting atop it. He approached carefully...and the closer he got, the more his round disney eyes filled with fear. Sitting on top of the log was a chunk of fur that looked very much like part of Flower's tail. And damn if it didn't smell like it either. Bambi's little animated heart filled with terror and he fled the area quickly. He tripped and fell over sticks and brambles, scratching and gouging himself in a very uncute way.
He ran and ran, stopping in a clearing to collapse from exhaustion and sorrow. Huge tears streamed from his eyes and he sobbed "I'm so sorry Mom...I should have listened to you about the evil of MAN. I'm so sorry..... " Bambi wandered on, but slowly as he realized he was lost in the dark part of the forest.
In the quiet blackness, an unearthly thumping echoed.
Bambi listened carefully, as the sound seemed to be coming from all around him. "Thumper?" He called out in his little pansy deer voice. The thumping resounded, growing louder and closer. Bambi trembled and moved along carefully. He stopped dead in his tracks upon the grisly sight just a few feet away.
Upon a large tree, a pair of rabbit ears was impaled with a barbecue fork, and the ground below was soaked in honey mustard barbecue sauce. Moist towelettes were hanging everywhere from the tree branches, exuding a lemony fresh smell. The thumping had ceased. For a beat it was slient, until he heard the tearing open of a package of plastic forks behind him.