From
BEASTS AND SUPER-BEASTS - H. H. MUNRO ("SAKI")
LEONARD BILSITER was one of those people who have
failed to find this world attractive or interesting, and who have sought
compensation in an "unseen world" of their own experience or imagination
- or invention. Children do that sort
of thing successfully, but children are content to convince themselves, and do
not vulgarise their beliefs by trying to convince other people. Leonard Bilsiter's beliefs were for
"the few," that is to say, anyone who would listen to him.
His dabblings in the unseen might not have carried
him beyond the customary platitudes of the drawing-room visionary if accident
had not reinforced his stock-in-trade of mystical lore. In company with a friend, who was interested
in a Ural mining concern, he had made a trip across Eastern Europe at a moment
when the great Russian railway strike was developing from a threat to a
reality; its outbreak caught him on the return journey, somewhere on the
further side of Perm, and it was while waiting for a couple of days at a
wayside station in a state of suspended locomotion that he made the
acquaintance of a dealer in harness and metalware, who profitably whiled away
the tedium of the long halt by initiating his English travelling companion in a
fragmentary system of folk-lore that he had picked up from Trans-Baikal traders
and natives. Leonard returned to his
home circle garrulous about his Russian strike experiences, but oppressively reticent
about certain dark mysteries, which he alluded to under the resounding title of
Siberian Magic. The reticence wore off
in a week or two under the influence of an entire lack of general curiosity,
and Leonard began to make more detailed allusions to the enormous powers which
this new esoteric force, to use his own description of it, conferred on the
initiated few who knew how to wield it.
His aunt, Cecilia Hoops, who loved sensation perhaps rather better than
she loved the truth, gave him as clamorous an advertisement as anyone could
wish for by retailing an account of how he had turned a vegetable marrow into a
wood pigeon before her very eyes. As a
manifestation of the possession of supernatural powers, the story was
discounted in some quarters by the respect accorded to Mrs. Hoops' powers of
imagination.
However divided opinion might be on the question of
Leonard's status as a wonderworker or a charlatan, he certainly arrived at Mary
Hampton's house-party with a reputation for pre-eminence in one or other of
those professions, and he was not disposed to shun such publicity as might fall
to his share. Esoteric forces and
unusual powers figured largely in whatever conversation he or his aunt had a
share in, and his own performances, past and potential, were the subject of
mysterious hints and dark avowals.
"I wish you would turn me into a wolf, Mr.
Bilsiter," said his hostess at luncheon the day after his arrival.
"My dear Mary," said Colonel Hampton,
"I never knew you had a craving in that direction."
"A she-wolf, of course," continued Mrs.
Hampton; it would be too confusing to change one's sex as well as one's species
at a moment's notice."
"I don't think one should jest on these
subjects," said Leonard.
"I'm not jesting, I'm quite serious, I assure
you. Only don't do it to-day; we have
only eight available bridge players, and it would break up one of our
tables. To-morrow we shall be a larger
party. To-morrow night, after dinner -
"
"In our present imperfect understanding of
these hidden forces I think one should approach them with humbleness rather
than mockery," observed Leonard, with such severity that the subject was
forthwith dropped.
Clovis Sangrail had sat unusually silent during the
discussion on the possibilities of Siberian Magic; after lunch he side-tracked
Lord Pabham into the comparative seclusion of the billiard-room and delivered
himself of a searching question.
"Have you such a thing as a she-wolf in your
collection of wild animals? A she-wolf
of moderately good temper?"
Lord Pabham considered. "There is Loiusa," he said, "a rather fine
specimen of the timber-wolf. I got her
two years ago in exchange for some Arctic foxes. Most of my animals get to be fairly tame before they've been with
me very long; I think I can say Louisa has an angelic temper, as she-wolves go.
Why do you ask?"
"I was wondering whether you would lend her to
me for to-morrow night," said Clovis, with the careless solicitude of one
who borrows a collar stud or a tennis racquet.
"To-morrow night?"
"Yes, wolves are nocturnal animals, so the late
hours won't hurt her," said Clovis, with the air of one who has taken
everything into consideration; "one of your men could bring her over from
Pabham Park after dusk, and with a little help he ought to be able to smuggle
her into the conservatory at the same moment that Mary Hampton makes an
unobtrusive exit."
Lord Pabham stared at Clovis for a moment in
pardonable bewilderment; then his face broke into a wrinkled network of
laughter.
"Oh, that's your game, is it? You are going to do a little Siberian Magic
on your own account. And is Mrs.
Hampton willing to be a fellow-conspirator?"
"Mary is pledged to see me through with it, if
you will guarantee Louisa's temper."
"I'll answer for Louisa," said Lord
Pabham.
By the following day the house-party had swollen to
larger proportions, and Bilsiter's instinct for self-advertisement expanded
duly under the stimulant of an increased audience. At dinner that evening he held forth at length on the subject of
unseen forces and untested powers, and his flow of impressive eloquence
continued unabated while coffee was being served in the drawing-room
preparatory to a general migration to the card-room.
His aunt ensured a respectful hearing for his
utterances, but her sensation-loving soul hankered after something more
dramatic than mere vocal demonstration.
"Won't you do something to CONVINCE them of
your powers, Leonard?" she pleaded; "change something into another
shape. He can, you know, if he only
chooses to," she informed the company.
"Oh, do," said Mavis Pellington earnestly,
and her request was echoed by nearly everyone present. Even those who were not open to conviction
were perfectly willing to be entertained by an exhibition of amateur conjuring.
Leonard felt that something tangible was expected of
him.
"Has anyone present," he asked, "got
a three-penny bit or some small object of no particular value -?"
"You're surely not going to make coins
disappear, or something primitive of that sort?" said Clovis
contemptuously.
"I think it very unkind of you not to carry out
my suggestion of turning me into a wolf," said Mary Hampton, as she
crossed over to the conservatory to give her macaws their usual tribute from
the dessert dishes.
"I have already warned you of the danger of
treating these powers in a mocking spirit," said Leonard solemnly.
"I don't believe you can do it," laughed
Mary provocatively from the conservatory; "I dare you to do it if you
can. I defy you to turn me into a
wolf."
As she said this she was lost to view behind a clump
of azaleas.
"Mrs. Hampton - " began Leonard with
increased solemnity, but he got no further.
A breath of chill air seemed to rush across the room, and at the same
time the macaws broke forth into ear-splitting screams.
"What on earth is the matter with those
confounded birds, Mary?" exclaimed Colonel Hampton; at the same moment an
even more piercing scream from Mavis Pellington stampeded the entire company
from their seats. In various attitudes
of helpless horror or instinctive defence they confronted the evil-looking grey
beast that was peering at them from amid a setting of fern and azalea.
Mrs. Hoops was the first to recover from the general
chaos of fright and bewilderment.
"Leonard!" she screamed shrilly to her
nephew, "turn it back into Mrs. Hampton at once! It may fly at us at any moment.
Turn it back!"
"I - I don't know how to," faltered
Leonard, who looked more scared and horrified than anyone.
"What!" shouted Colonel Hampton,
"you've taken the abominable liberty of turning my wife into a wolf, and
now you stand there calmly and say you can't turn her back again!"
To do strict justice to Leonard, calmness was not a
distinguishing feature of his attitude at the moment.
"I assure you I didn't turn Mrs. Hampton into a
wolf; nothing was farther from my intentions," he protested.
"Then where is she, and how came that animal
into the conservatory?" demanded the Colonel.
"Of course we must accept your assurance that
you didn't turn Mrs. Hampton into a wolf," said Clovis politely, "but
you will agree that appearances are against you."
"Are we to have all these recriminations with
that beast standing there ready to tear us to pieces?" wailed Mavis
indignantly.
"Lord Pabham, you know a good deal about wild
beasts - " suggested Colonel Hampton.
"The wild beasts that I have been accustomed
to," said Lord Pabham, "have come with proper credentials from
well-known dealers, or have been bred in my own menagerie. I've never before been confronted with an
animal that walks unconcernedly out of an azalea bush, leaving a charming and
popular hostess unaccounted for. As far
as one can judge from OUTWARD characteristics," he continued, "it has
the appearance of a well-grown female of the North American timber-wolf, a
variety of the common species CANIS LUPUS."
"Oh, never mind its Latin name," screamed
Mavis, as the beast came a step or two further into the room; "can't you
entice it away with food, and shut it up where it can't do any harm?"
"If it is really Mrs. Hampton, who has just had
a very good dinner, I don't suppose food will appeal to it very strongly,"
said Clovis.
"Leonard," beseeched Mrs. Hoops tearfully,
"even if this is none of your doing can't you use your great powers to
turn this dreadful beast into something harmless before it bites us all - a
rabbit or something?"
"I don't suppose Colonel Hampton would care to
have his wife turned into a succession of fancy animals as though we were
playing a round game with her," interposed Clovis.
"I absolutely forbid it," thundered the
Colonel.
"Most wolves that I've had anything to do with
have been inordinately fond of sugar," said Lord Pabham; "if you like
I'll try the effect on this one."
He took a piece of sugar from the saucer of his
coffee cup and flung it to the expectant Louisa, who snapped it in
mid-air. There was a sigh of relief
from the company; a wolf that ate sugar when it might at the least have been
employed in tearing macaws to pieces had already shed some of its terrors. The sigh deepened to a gasp of thanks-giving
when Lord Pabham decoyed the animal out of the room by a pretended largesse of
further sugar. There was an instant
rush to the vacated conservatory. There
was no trace of Mrs. Hampton except the plate containing the macaws' supper.
"The door is locked on the inside!" exclaimed
Clovis, who had deftly turned the key as he affected to test it.
Everyone turned towards Bilsiter.
"If you haven't turned my wife into a
wolf," said Colonel Hampton, "will you kindly explain where she has
disappeared to, since she obviously could not have gone through a locked
door? I will not press you for an
explanation of how a North American timber-wolf suddenly appeared in the
conservatory, but I think I have some right to inquire what has become of Mrs.
Hampton."
Bilsiter's reiterated disclaimer was met with a
general murmur of impatient disbelief.
"I refuse to stay another hour under this
roof," declared Mavis Pellington.
"If our hostess has really vanished out of
human form," said Mrs. Hoops, "none of the ladies of the party can
very well remain. I absolutely decline
to be chaperoned by a wolf!"
"It's a she-wolf," said Clovis soothingly.
The correct etiquette to be observed under the
unusual circumstances received no further elucidation. The sudden entry of Mary Hampton deprived
the discussion of its immediate interest.
"Some one has mesmerised me," she
exclaimed crossly; "I found myself in the game larder, of all places,
being fed with sugar by Lord Pabham. I
hate being mesmerised, and the doctor has forbidden me to touch sugar."
The situation was explained to her, as far as it
permitted of anything that could be called explanation.
"Then you REALLY did turn me into a wolf, Mr.
Bilsiter?"
she exclaimed excitedly.
But
Leonard had burned the boat in which he might now have embarked on a sea of
glory. He could only shake his head
feebly.
"It was I who took that liberty," said
Clovis; "you see, I happen to have lived for a couple of years in
North-Eastern Russia, and I have more than a tourist's acquaintance with the
magic craft of that region. One does
not care to speak about these strange powers, but once in a way, when one hears
a lot of nonsense being talked about them, one is tempted to show what Siberian
magic can accomplish in the hands of someone who really understands it. I yielded to that temptation. May I have some brandy? the effort has left
me rather faint."
If Leonard Bilsiter could at that moment have
transformed Clovis into a cockroach and then have stepped on him he would
gladly have performed both operations.
