|Forum|Articles|Macworld Predictions 2. By Anubis   MACWORLD EXPO PREDICTIONS In keeping up with the tradition, here are my MacWorld Expo predictions The Steve will come out to the sound of people yelling "Die Die Die!" and "Bring Back the Chooser!". After putting out a flaming bag of dog-doo someone threw onto the stage, he will announce speed bumps to the TiBooks, along with the addition of the iShim to the laptop line. The iShim will be a bondi blue wedge of plastic that can be inserted in the DVD-R drive in the TiBook to prevent people with an unusually strong grips (such as small children and the elderly) from flexing the TiBooks case and shorting out the DVD-R drive when they pick it up. The iShim will cost 300 dollars from the Apple Store and is USB 2.0 compliant after installing driver updates from the Apple site. The Steve will then announce new Imacs. These Imacs will be flat panel, which will raise the cost of them over the cost for a G4 tower. Should the user ever be lost in the woods , and be carrying his Imac, he will be able to make use of the Imacs spontaneous combustion feature to start a fire. By holding down the Power button for two seconds, a triggering signal will be sent to the CD-R drive,stepping up the power to the laser and causing the CD-R to catch fire. This will ignite any flammable material located in front of the CD-R slot. Steve Jobs will close by making a comment about the first CD burner that can really burn CD's The Steve will then announce the new G4 Sphere. The G4 Sphere will be a perfectly smooth sphere, its surface unbroken by ventilation holes, media slots, and ports to which you would connect things like, oh say, a monitor. The G4 Sphere will also be prone to crashing... onto the floor after rolling off the desk. Because of this, the G4 Sphere will be incompatible with "legacy office furniture" though you will be able to buy Apple Compliant furniture at an undisclosed, and nonexistent, future date. Before the audience can recover from this, Steve will unveil the new iUrinal. The iUrinal will feature true WYSIWYP (What you see is what you pee) output with the use of a translucent urine collection bowl. The iUrinal will have also have a fifteen second boot time, and full Firewire support for lighting fast "downloads". The iUrinal will cost 4000 dollars and will require the user to use special WYSIWYP compliant urinal cakes , and at this time does not support gray market beverage output. After dodging an ipuck style iMac mouse and several anthrax-ridden pig carcasses that are thrown at him, the Steve will announce the new iTablet. The real reason the Steve moved the keynote ahead a day, the iTablet will be a pen input internet terminal that can only access websites approved by Apple. At the time of its release the iTablet will only be able to access the Apple Store website and Steve Job's daughter's AOL homepage, but the Steve claims that soon the database will be updated to include new websites. In the six months following the keynote the database will only be updated once, to add the PressPlay website. At this point it will be time for the sniper to pick him off.     Syntax Error/:|Forum|Articles|