|Forum|Articles|Macworld By Anubis   Macworld is in three days. It is when Steve Jobs announces new hardware. My predictions on Steve Job's speech. Steve will come onstage and talk about how many macs have been sold since the last Macworld and how good this is for the Apple user Steve will show off a new keyboard which has no function keys or numeric keypad but will have a number of extra keys with icons of bunnies and butterflies on them. The extra keys do nothing now but Steve will assure us that soon a 90 megabyte system updater will be available from the Apple site that will make these keys do somthing and Steve will spend 15 miniutes telling us how good this is for the Apple user Steve will introduce new ibook colors. The colored ibooks will have no have no speed inprovements, they will still be using the piddiling 3 year old G3 chip they do now. Steve will gush on about the beauty of these new ibooks for 15 minutes and then tell us how great they are for the Apple user Then Steve will demo some sofwate to do some trivial thing, like making desktop pictures(called wallpaper under windows). This software will feature a take-over interface with gaudy 256 pixel square buttons. The program will take over system level resources and will require hardware acceleration that has not yet been invented to function properly. Steve will spend a half hour demo-ing the software and then will tell us how great it is for the Apple user. When I look over the paper bag I will breathing into to keep from smashing somthing Steve will be showing off the speed bumps to the titanium powerbooks(tibooks). These will have modified cases so that when a tibook is closed and an inane amount of weight, say, a pillow, is put on top of it the keys will not scratch the keyboard. Steve will spend 15 minutes demonstrating this by closing tibooks and setting wallets and coffee mugs on them and then will tell us how great this is for the Apple user. Steve will close by showing new tower computers. These tower computers will feature a new cd-rom burner that can burn cd's and dvd's at the same time. These drives will be incompatible with all current burning software and will raise the cost of the systems by 800 dollars. Steve demos the drive and insists that soon the burning software necassary to make use of one will be available as a 300 megabyte download from the Apple site. The new towers will also feature an new video connector. Steve will announce that all monitors that Apple sells will use this new video connector, which renders them inconpatable with all other macs, and will spend a half hour telling us how great this is for the Apple user. If I had not buried a baseball bat into my computer screen by this time I would be silently glad, as if I had smashed my monitor I would not be able to buy a new one because of the new video connector.       Syntax Error/:|Forum|Articles|