reincarnation is a rather confusing subject for me. i sit here and try to think of how to
explain what i think and get pissed off at the fucking fly that keeps buzzing around me. part of me believes in
reincarnation, but part of me doesn't. i mean, if the damn fly is really someone who died in my family, i couldn't
kill it (well, i can't kill bugs anyway or i gag and puke). but there's also a lot of theories and proof pointing out that
reincarnation is real.
my first meeting with reincarnation was when my sister first learned about it. she told me and in my twisted 5 year old
mind, i thought my cat was my great grandmother, since she died and then he showed up. so i started calling my cat
great grammy, but after awhile of thinking, i didn't understand it, so i figured sarah had lied (she did that a lot when i
was little and she knows it).
around seventh grade, i started getting into deep things with religion and past lives and stuff and got to thinking again.
my theory then was that God lent us lives, and as soon as one person dies, that life is immediatly passed on to a baby
that is born. the energy from all the lives built up as they were passed, and the 'past life' memories that people had
were actually energy left over from past 'owners' of the life. so people hadn't necessarily lived before, it was just energy
and experiences from the other owners.
that theory worked for me for awhile, and i still sort of believe it. but i've been thinking again (i do that a lot, since i have
no life) and reading The Other Side and Back by psychic sylvia browne (excellent book, i suggest reading it!) and
i tried one of the exercise things about finding out what your past lives have been. i have always loved the mideval time
period and thought that might have something to do with a past life of mine. i have a 'marble' just of my temple on the left
side of my head. i was born with it and surgery was a option, but the dr's said i might have cronic headaches or my eyebrow
might sag and a bunch of other crap so i figured, when it really hurts, i'll have surgery. (btw, it's not a real marble, it's just buildup
of tissue or something) well, i got to thinking, maybe this 'marble' is a sign of one of my past lives. i thought, perhaps i was stoned
to death and the stone that killed me stayed with me in my other lives. it seemed to make sense in a way since i was born with it,
it's just above my temple and about the size of a stone. i came up with this theory after reading about the significance of birthmarks
and past lives. it is said the birthmarks are sort of scars from past lives carried on.
so i still don't know if i fully believe in reincarnation. the whole idea is kind of funky to me, but yet it seems to make sense. i supposed
i will never know until i get to the Other Side. until then, i will keep pondering and theorizing (is that a word?).
