Well, as we all know by now, May is a lazy kind of month, so I decided to pick the laziest person I know to represent it. Being the literary genius that I am, I came up with a little story about our chosen one...
A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away (we're talkin' waaaaaaaaay out there) a baby boy was born to some pretty normal parents. The baby, on the other hand - not so normal. As a small boy, he would poke at the other children with yardsticks while making a strange, humming noise. He would tell the teachers that it wasn't his fault - he was simply using the force within him. The teachers didn't really buy this, but it creeped them out well enough that they put the boy into the advanced class, just so they wouldn't have to deal with him anymore. Little did they know, this advanced class, or "GT" as it came to be known, would do nothing but thrust him into complete nerdliness. You see, as this boy entered the class, he realized he was surrounded by others of his kind, included one that would come to be known as "The Nerd Master". Over time, he sharpened his skills, and actually became quite the Jed... no, wait, wrong story... quite the, uh, Nerdi. But as this boy walked into 4th period Algebra II for the first time, he met his most fierce competition yet... the dreaded Irish Hamster Man. This would be a challenge, yes, but the boy was not intimidated. He pulled out all the stops and quickly became notorious for his quick wit (not to mention his speedy chalkboard erasing skills.) He battled Irish Hamster Man day after day until finally, the final class period came. It would all come down to this...
Will Irish Hamster Man defeat our hero? Or will our beloved Nerd prevail? Tune in next week for the answer!
Just kidding... And now, the rest of the story:
"Shut up!" roared the intoxicated rodent, but our hero wouldn't back down so easily. "But I'm whispering. You didn't say 'Silence', you said 'Quiet.' and I'm being quiet." At this, the Hamster's face became a very bright hue of red. "Out in the hall, now!" And with that, our Nerd jumped on Irish Hamster Man's desk and did The Hustle while shouting "Thank you LaGrange, goodnight!"
Ok, so maybe it didn't quite end like that, but it would have been much more entertaining that way. Anyway, please give a stirring ovation to our story's subject and May's Nerd of the Month - Dan.
