('May God help us all' is more like it...)
It was a warm, sunny July afternoon. Not a cloud in the sky, until...
"That's right, folks. You heard it here first. Richie Sexson, the 6'8", brutally hot, 26 year-old Cleveland Indian has been traded to the Milwaukee Brewers for some loser pitcher who they're just gonna ship to AAA in a week. Rumor had it, Sexson was planning on proposing to a smalltown girl later this week. Sources say that the gorgeous blond buck is now too distrought to marry, claiming that he doesn't want to shame this young girl by having her take his name. We're still not clear on the identity of this 'perfect girl', as Mr. Sexson often calls her..."
The sky immediately clouded and it rained for 40 days and 40 nights. (Hey, shut up. If I say that's how it went, that's how it went.) I haven't watched a baseball game since. Anyway, on to the nerd at hand. Not only did she not care that my dream man was so horribley ripped away from me, but she LAUGHED. Then, when her precious MANNY RAMIREZ (*Cough* SELLOUT *Cough*) left, she friggin' hopped the first plane to Boston. YUCK. How much more disgustingly nerdy could one be? She wouldn't know, all skipping about in her softball uniform and knee socks... makes me sick, the ingrate. She actually requested May because "Oooo, you have to put me up for Manny's birthday month!" Blah, blah blah. He can take his billion dollars and stick it up his... Anyhoo, this month's Nerd is Elisha. Great, now I have that "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" song stuck in my head. I hate baseball.
