Alright, I've been debating whether or not to honor this Nerd for over a year now. Why, you ask? Well, after hours of observation and quite a bit of consideration, I've determined that he just might be the biggest Nerd on the planet. The end all, be all of Nerddom. I've feared that his qualifications are so outstanding, I'll never be able to find another Nerd able to measure up to him...
And yes, he's even a bigger Nerd than Brad.
For those of you who aren't catching on, let me give you a little word problem. A 900N physics teacher is standing on the edge of a cliff 172 meters high, conjuring up some brain-numbing questions for his next quiz. He grins evilly as he thinks of the amount of red ink he's going to go through grading said exam. Meanwhile, a group of students have quietly gathered behind him. If they were to accidentally hurl him off the cliff at an initial velocity of 13 meters per second, how far away from the base of the cliff will he land before standing up, brushing himself off, and announcing, "You can't kill me, you little bastards!"?
That's right. The time has come to crown the czar of our kind. The man who loves nothing more than to hear that the underclassmen fear him. The man who takes such great pleasure in making certain our Fridays suck. The man who is definitely too overqualified to work at Keystone. The man who is just so evil, you've gotta admire him.
Ladies and gentlemen, please stand and salute the governor of Geeksville, the sultan of Scienceland, December's Nerd of the Month...
*Pause for dramatic emphasis*
Congratulations, Mr. Jones.
