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January 2001

[datum 01.01.01]

Yeah, whoo hoo. Shut up. Today sucked like any other day, stupid new year anyway. So, I go to bed at 5:30 since I was playing my race car game. Got up at about 11:30, had a couple pieces of sausage etc. etc. etc. nothing much happened during the day. I've started downloading a ton of NES games, like 2000 something, yay me. I watched Erin Brockovitch, it's a pretty good movie actually. I had nothing better to do anyway, time well spent I guess. I've got the terrible evil asshole of a headache atm, it started in one small spot, but it's like spreading or something... anyway now my whole head hurts - I may have to abandon Merissa early tonight if it doesn't go away. Hell, we're not even talking much for some reason - she got smashed last night, and I've got a headache, and they don't seem to be going well together. Not to mention we've both got to deal with an idiot from school that has a strong tendency to annoy the hell out of me. Damn useless bastard I hope he burns for a thousand years just because.

[datum 02.01.01]

Well, at least I can do the 01.01 part still.

I'm still downloading NES games. I'm on B. Go me. I still don't have anything to do really, Zach has wanted to come over, but of course things never work out like that. Merissa wants to do something soon, probably Friday, I'd easily chose her over Zach of course. But what to do... hrm. I don't know. We've been to the movies a few times, just crashed at her house a few times - I'm content with both of them, but you'd figure we should do something new every once in a while. If it wasn't so damn cold out tho. Hmm... maybe we could go on a hike of sorts, over at my grandpa's house in his woods. Not sure if she'd want to, but it could be fun. I'm sure it would be a surprise too (Yes, I'm aware she reads this [42 times last week, lol] but it's still a surprise.) So, if she wants to, then that's what we'll do! It'll be hella cold probably, and deep ass snow, but I'll live. She had said she wanted to go hiking, so why not - sure, it's not a nice mountainous landscape or anything, but I think it's pretty cool back there. It'd be nicer during the fall or spring, so we may go then instead/as well. At least I've got an idea now.

[datum 04.01.01]

Yeah, I know you're gonna bitch at me for missing a day - shut up. :P

Okay, so today I got up at like 9:30 to some fucking phone call for my parents from some stupid credit card company. One big FUCK YOU goes out to that woman. I kinda got back to sleep, not really, but I ended up getting up at about 10:30. I started back on the NES game downloads, moving along slowly but surely. I got my Snog CDs yesterday, I love them. Recommend them to everyone and so forth. Got an email from Merissa, yay as always - except it was timestamped at 3:20 something in the morning - GET SOME SLEEP! :) I've still got to mention that hike to my mom, got to remember to do that! Nothing more to talk about now, maybe I'll come back later.

[datum 05.01.01]

Went to Merissa's house instead of hiking, which was okay. We just talked for the whole time, we didn't kiss though, I just can't get myself to do it. I started writing a program to automatically update the "np: " line in people's sig files.

[datum 06.01.01]

School is entirely too near! Anyway, I woke up around noon, watched tv for about an hour, then came back to work on my program. I looked up some win2k stuff, I've no idea how to fix my program to get it to work w/2k! While I was working on it, my dad came in and told me he wanted me to shovel snow, I was like "ah fucking hell!" but I did it anyway, finished the entire sidewalk (after he dumped like 2 1/2 feet of more snow on it from the roof - my back hurts like hell now, but it's done. I've been making little updates to my program, adding to functionality and appearance - but still nothing with win2k, I'm not sure what I'm going to do about that!

[datum 07.01.01]

Bwah, I just noticed that the past few days I'd been doing 0x.01.00! Damn year changing anyway! F'n hell... anyway, I woke up at noon (well, closer to 11:30) and got online, bored bored bored. Merissa was going to call me, see if I could come over, but I later found out she had to go to work and so forth, we'll get together some other time I'm sure. I love her, really I do...

[datum 10.01.01]

You should have yelled at me for missing days! For some reason this journal got pushed out of my mind the last couple of days. Not much has went on to talk about anyway, I've been fucking around in 6th hour, turned a previous project into my art class as my final project (go me.) and yeah, that's it. Haven't talk to Merissa much the past few days, she's on today tho, so yay. I look back lately, and see me in 6th-9th grade, making such a big deal about grades - lately I've just been f'n around in 6th hour and 1st hour, and I think I'm happier because of it. Grades really don't matter all that much for the college I'm thinking about going to anyway, their acceptance rate is 70%, after I get in then it's a different story of course, but for now I should relax. I'll still try to do well in my core classes (lit, math, science, and history) but I'm f'n tired of worrying about my damn computer science class. I'll still do work, but I'm not doing those damn modules he's got anymore. I like today's date, 100101, for the same reason I like 010101 - binary coding is just cool.

[datum 11.01.01]

I nearly forgot this damn thing again, lol. Okay, so I got up slightly late, but all was well. Nothing happened today, at all. I hate days that are wastes like that. I need a drivers license or something, I am so bored with not doing anything. Of course I'd need a job too, but it's easier to get a job w/ a car, so yeah. I keep playing Dr. Mario, damn you Paul! heh, oh well. I'm rather finished now, just wish something would happen...

[datum 12.01.01]

Well, first off some odd shit went down last night with Merissa. She's all talking about some other guy maybe being interested in her, and now she's writing him a note, and I don't know... anyway, I had a bad headache, and I guess I ended up pissing Merissa off after she had told me about all of that (truthfully enough, I was annoyed by it). Then she pissed me off back, after I apologized for being rather short with her, she did it back to me I guess. Anyway it was rather upsetting, I hate getting into even little things like that with Merissa, it never can do any good. Anyway, today - woke up around 6:00, ffwd - school sucked, ffwd - Zach and Steve are annoying. FFWD - now. That's  the day, not much to say really. I'm oddly tired, no reason at all for it either. I wish I could see the future. You know, it'd make me worry about things less. That'd be damn useful. Oh yeah, amm is being "attacked" by trolls again. These ones suck though, the ones we had awhile ago were at least good enough to make us worry, these ones are just stupid, there's like 3 of them and they just stick to one thread. Absolutely infantile anyway, amazing people waste their time with things like that - then tell us we're wasting our time reading a newsgroup, imbeciles. Well I'm finished for now, sweet dreams readers.

[datum 13.01.01]

"It's all destroyed, what a state. You're the victim, she's the master, beg for mercy, more and faster"

"Out of darkness, there will be light. Close your eyes."

What am I to do? I try and try, and try again. I do anything and everything I can, next time we got together, I had promised myself I would kiss her, but what do I find now? She's run off and decided to be with someone else. Why the fuck would she need to have me named as her "boyfriend" just to stay with me? "A rose by any other name will smell as sweet" is this not true? "Boyfriend", "Husband" these are two _words_ which have a dictionary definition just like any other two words. They don't stand for anything, they're no more important than any other words. She shouldn't have needed to be called my "girlfriend" for us to stay together. Obviously I was no more than another guy to her, does she have any real feelings towards me? "I'll love you for a friend forever" this is what she said. She probably says that to all of them. I'm not like them. I just am not! UGH for her to compare me to any of them like I'm just some other guy who thought she was hot so I wanted to fuck her! UGH!!!!! GOD DAMN IT ALL. I swear, there's no fucking reason for me to even bother anymore, I love her though. Really I do, I feel so fucking bad right now, and I didn't even do anything wrong. I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING! What the motherfuckinghell! Is that how it'd be every time she saw some other guy that caught her attention for a week? Just run off and screw over whoever she was with? She said she doesn't want to be a slut anymore, she wanted to just have one guy and be with him and that's it. As far as I can tell, she's no more than a mother fucking liar. For two fucking weeks she's just been lying to me. Now she's talking about "the Bitch of the good ole days" - the same "bitch" that she was telling me she didn't want to be anymore. Why the fuck does she try to please people? HAH! She must not be trying too damn hard since I feel the way I do right now. If anyone tried to please anyone it was me, hell I was going to fucking go walking through the damn woods with her in like 2 foot deep snow, just because she mentioned she felt like going on a hike! What the fuck is up with that? UGH, there is no pleasing some people, of all things she fell for a wrestler! You weren't happy being at that wrestling meet my ass. Hey, since you feel like destroying me about once a month, why don't you just come find me and fucking kill me? How about that? COME FUCKING GET ME. I'm finding that there's going to be no one on earth I'll be pleased with. Everyone is sub-standard. Am I setting my standards too high? Probably. There is no way I'll settle for someone that acts like that. It's fucking unacceptable! What the fuck am I going to do now... "love always" eh? Well fuck you too.

[datum 18.01.01]

My my my, it's been a fucking 5 days since I did this last. Damn was I pissed that night... anyway, nothing much happened during the time. On Monday, at school, David B was being quite an ass, funny though since he thought I actually cared. I entirely expected it, I haven't trusted her at all since like August 2000. Back to the days, on Wednesday I had the exams for first and second hours, that is - art and algebra 2. I'm thinking I got a 100% on my art exam, so damn easy! Oh, and my diamond box should be done soon, I glazed it throughout the week and so forth. I'm sure it won't turn out as nice as I'd like, the school's materials are so cheap..  The algebra 2 exam was supposedly easy, I'm not sure how I did on it though. Of course no one thinks they failed, you answer the questions because you think your answers are right then you end up surprised when you didn't do as well as you thought, lol. So, back to the days, today I had the Advanced Biology and American Literature exams. I got a B+ on the Am. Lit. exam. It really was quite hard if you ask me. But anyway, go me. I found out something new today, I find it quite funny. Merissa fucked me over so she could be with some wrestler named TJ or something, anyway, it seems (via her profile) that he's either not as interested in her as she thought, or he's playing hard to get. Either way I am sitting here giggling my head off. To quote her profile - for further reference:

Go me man, go me. To quote a stupid old man, just coz I think it fits here. "The truth will set you free" stupid faggot old man principal of the middle school said that to me. Different circumstances to be sure, but the point is, I win yet again. Oh, I also think I may post all our chat logs on here, for backup purposes for the most part... then also for public access. It'll give people something to read anyway. Most of them are rather boring at times, but some are quite interesting.

Anyway - <Kevin Spacey> I rule ::fist up in air::</Kevin>

[datum 20.01.01]

Holy shit. Okay, so first school - I took the exams in US History and Computer Science. Both were pretty damn easy, it's fun being a genius really it is. Anyway, I got a ride home from Zach, that was cool, tho we took longer than the bus which was surprising, mom wasn't too happy about that but oh well. We were going to go to a party, but everything was all screwed up and we ended up just driving around for few hours. Oh, did I mention we were all tripping? It was rather suck in the car tho, I didn't notice it much at all until I stared hard at the back window (I was in the trunk! :-) and I saw the ice crystals in 3D! So, we dropped everyone off, and I went home. Chatted with mom for a few (inquisitive bastard!) and noticed - holy shit I'm tripping hard! I so didn't even really notice it before then. So I get away from mom after she showed me this thing on the news, my grandpa was on tv, that was pretty damn cool. At this time I go in my room and start the music. I have created the perfect tripping disc, at least I like it a ton anyway, so I was listening to that and staring at various things in my room. My curtain turned into one of those 10 foot tall cement doors, like you'd see entering a gladiator arena, decorated in skeletons. It looked a hell of a lot like something on Mortal Kombat now that I think of it. Anyway, time passed and I went to bed around 2:30 - I just couldn't take anymore, I was soooo tired.

[datum 22.01.01]

I didn't write yesterday, but there wasn't a whole lot to write. Just a normal boring Sunday. Saturday night was cool, then scary. Zach came over, then we took it, lit candles and incense - trying to smoke box my room, we were playing with a laser. My room, however was too well ventilated er big, er something, so it didn't work, even with the like 10 incense and three candles. We had a bit of fun, then decided to take off for a bit, we went down a few side roads around my house - one road was almost entirely covered in ice, that was pretty damn neat if ya ask me. We had to get gas, and a cop came while we were filling up, that was rather freaky. So we leave, then drive around around Zach's house for awhile. Time passed, and we went back around my house, to the icy road. We decided to stop the car (in the road - no one was driving on that road of course)  we were completely still, brake on and everything - and it looked like we were going backwards! SOOO cool. Not even just slowly going backwards either, I mean like 15mph backwards, while completely still. Anyway, we went home, and were sitting out in the car for a few, and my dad saw us. He flipped the light on, and we knew we were caught, though he didn't know we had went anywhere so that was good. Anyway, he was pissed at that time, but he was okay (though still annoyed by it) the next morning. It scared the hell out of me though, I wasn't able to relax, and it killed the trip basically. I still saw stuff, the Pac Man I made on my wall started spinning like a tornado, haha sweet. My ceiling imploded and exploded too, damn neato. I want to take 6 or 8 of them now. That's $30 - $40 though, I need a job to buy drugs now, go me.

Back to today, I've been reading "The Illuminatus! Trilogy" almost non-stop, I'm moving right along, very cool. I love this book, it's second to LOTR still, but it is still very cool. Time moves on, boring day basically. Oh, I also found out that Merissa's next victim isn't necessarily "unavailable"  but that's hardly a problem of mine, I couldn't care less, actually I took Merissa off my buddy list a few days ago. So nyah. I am a self-ruling autonomous person. I am me, and I know large words heh.

"When I grow up, I wanna be like me"

"all that is gold does not glitter / not all those who wander are lost / the old that is strong does not whither / deep roots are not reached by the frost"

[datum 24.01.01]

I just noticed that yesterday was the 23rd. Cool. Not a lot happened today, first hour sucked like usual - except one thing, I'm making a Pac Man thing, and that's über-neato. Second hour is easy as usual, I was so damn freaked last year about moving on to Algebra 2, thinking that I wasn't going to be able to figure it out, and now I'm doing like second best in the class. I love algebra really, much easier than geometry if you ask me. Third hour sucked like usual, I came up with another t-shirt idea (adding to my "If you call me a Goth one more time I'll kill myself" idea) on the front have it say "Do you spank your monkey/beaver" and on the back have a picture of a monkey crossed with a beaver. Muahahaha, I'm a genius. No doubt. Fourth hour isn't so terrible, I sit in front of a really cute girl (Amber Aarup) and next to a really cute girl (Bobbi Mead) and I'm not doing terrible in the class. I've got to remember to do the essay though, it's very important. Also, we watched a movie in class about Mark Twain, funny as fuck. Literally very worth watching, and paying attention to. In fifth hour, like usual, just a boring nothing of a nothing. During sixth hour I started writing quick little things to test people's hearing, I suck. My hearing is going down the drain, I can't hear a 20,000hz tone, 17,500hz tones drive me insane. I also actually started doing a module, go me. I'm still reading "Illuminatus!" - I'm on "The Golden Apple" now, go me. I'll probably have to lay off for a bit though, due to us starting to read Huck Finn and writing that essay. I hate writing the chapter summaries for Hicks though, it completely destroys the fun of reading the book, and makes me not want to read it. I would have liked The Red Badge of Courage more if I didn't have to do those. What an absolutely stupid way of doing things, Mr. Hicks should be bashed for this...

[datum 29.01.01]

Well look at me and my lazy ass... not really though, I've been doing work on the site, just not here. I've been adding those chat logs I was talking about, I'm nowhere near finished yet, but that's okay, I'll keep working at it.

School... oh yeah, Megan Jenkins (I'm so very sorry if it ends up I spelled your name wrong!) anyway, she's quite pretty and she may be coming on to me, she's been spending a hell of a lot more time with me than before, I think it's cool, but she's a junior and I really think it'd be odd being with someone that's a grade older than me like that - of course that's assuming she's really been coming on to me, which could entirely be a fantasy of my mind. Anyway, school is boring, but easy, so it evens out. No worries about passing this year, 'cept maybe American Lit., but as long as I turn shit in I should be okay. I've been doing art lately, that is - graphics, I may post something up here sometime, dunno - I'm still fascinated with Pac Man... I'm rather pissed since I won't be able to read "Illuminatus" anymore because of "Huck Finn" god dammit. Speaking of which, I've got to read 3 more chapters tonight, with chapter summaries all the way, fucking hell. Why the fuck can't I just do what I want to do and be pleased with that? Whoeverthefuck came up with the idea that all people must learn the same things, and all that other shit should be shot, repeatedly, then buried while still alive, then have concrete poured over their grave, then have it blown up with 20 pounds of C4. (Yes, I know I'm going slightly overboard there - I support "THE UNRESTRAINED USE OF EXCESSIVE FORCE!"). Yet again, go me.

[datum 30.01.01]

Well, Sk70d4mm!+! No school today, go Eaton Rapids, I guess we're worth something then. Odd if you ask me, but whatever, good enough. So, I wasted the day, go me. I did a bit more work on this here website, added more logs that is, entirely too many of them! I talked with Bobbi Mead a little more, she's a great one, I tell ya... anyway, she's borrowing some of my cds tomorrow, and giving me a ride home too, maybe she'll turn out to be some crazy stalker/rapist/killer, that'd be cool, tho I'd try to get away (before the killing part anyway, hehe). Anyway, I think she knows I like her, not that I've been keeping it a secret, it wouldn't work anyway, and I said that to her too. She's got a guy already anyway, so yeah. Oh well, no worries, all's well. I wish I had a job, I could buy more acid... I've so got to learn how to synthesize it, too damn expensive for a jobless loser like me, er something... maybe I could get all my friends to give me money for diamonds for my b-day next August, let's see - Zach, Ariel, Nick, Bobbi, Rick, Jeff2, Brian, Alana, probably a couple more even - so that's 2 per person (it's only $10) that adds up to 16! Holy shit I'd be messed up  Wow. I think it would be really cool to have big tripping parties out in the field behind my house during the summer too. Maybe, just maybe...

[datum 31.01.01]

All is well. I woke up late, 6:30 instead of my customary 5:30, er 5:40, er 5:50. That kinda sucked since I had to rush around and all, but oh well, no worries. First hour boring as usual, I made a picture I call "French Man Going to Hell" it's great. Second hour we had a quiz, suxor. The girl I sit next to, Bonnie, she's nice. She's got this whole professional look about her, but she's not very good at math, but that's okay, not everyone can do everything perfect ('cept me, since I'm god and all). I've recently discovered that the majority of girls that I've been hanging out with, or been interested in lately are in a higher grade than me: Bonnie, Bobbi, Megan, Monica and Ariel. Everyone's older than me. I don't plan on hooking up with any of them though, being with a girl that's older than me just wouldn't work. It'd annoy me more than anything really. Anyway, back to school, third hour sucked, we had a test. Fourth hour was okay, we watched a tv show, go us. Fifth hour suxorz. Sixth hour, I decided to do work today, I'll probably have the module I'm working on done in a couple days. I got a ride home from Bobbi, she's great. I would sooo be up for a threesome with her and Megan, but that's aside from the point. I need to have a twosome with someone before I get ahead of myself! I've got a headache a bit, damn. I need to read a chapter of Huck Finn for tonight, not bad since they are only a couple pages each, but I wasn't expecting to have to do any tonight. I've got to do that damn paper tomorrow too. God dammit. It's got to be two pages double-spaced too, not just one like usual. Bleh.