Raw Molecule

I've finally found beauty
It's under a plate in a diner
Existing only to those who look
Petals, stem, I'm going to cry
Except I just stare, loving
All the people
All the judging
All the pot, the happiness
The smiles
Look at it, but you can't
Eyes glazed over
I'm tired
I'm not better because I don't inhale the sugar
I inhale death fumes
Deadlier
Until I take the beauty,
fingers wrapping ever so slightly around the stem
Smelling true existence
Smelling life
And for the first time, I live
My senses feel, they taste
They yearn for. . . more
But my head still wants to die
I still feel the gun
Even the scent can't push that away

6/9/01