University Jokes

You've probably heard these before, but they're still kinda funny if you know anyone who went to one of these schools. They're so true! I can say that because I didn't go to any of them.

Why don't they have Christmas at Western?
They can't find a virgin and three wise men.

How do they separate the men from the boys at McMaster?
With a restraining order.

A severe storm rumbled through Guelph last week and destroyed the entire town.
$10 worth of damage was reported.

Why is it so windy in Kingston?
Because Queen's blows!

What do you get when you drive quickly through the Lakehead campus?
An undergraduate degree.

What's the first thing a Carleton girl does when she wakes up in the morning?
Walks home.

How can you tell if a Trent student is a heterosexual?
He can outrun his roommate!

What does a U of T student call a Laurier student after graduation?
Boss.

Why do they sell so many button-fly jeans in Guelph?
Because the sheep can hear zippers a mile away.

Did you hear that the library at Ryerson burned down?
Naturally, the students were very upset...some of the books weren't colored-in yet.

Why do York graduates put a copy of their diploma in the window of their vehicles?
So they can park in handicap spaces.

How do you get a Western grad off your front porch?
Pay him for the pizza.

Who does the Waterloo Engineering Society fear the most?
Immigration.

Remember...friends don't let friends go to Western.

If you can walk and talk, you can go to Brock.

If you can use a fork, you can go to York.

If you are a conceited, arrogant bastard, you can go to Queens

Thanks to Shannon and Carrie for most of these jokes!

Got one I haven't heard yet? Send it to me! If you went to Brock, just ask a friend from another school how to use the computer.