AFTER THE BEATS

The group walked inside a huge cave. All was silent and dark, and the only noises that they heard were the dripping sounds of water above their heads...

They were bounty hunters searching for their prey. And what a prey it was! All over the world burks came to hunt the grate beast, nothing was known about the monster because no one leaved to tell the tale...

They were six of them. Each and every one had his own reason for joining the journey. They all met in the recruit center, which was located in some radon-infested shelter in a forsaken barmy town called KFAR SABA.

And like all of them, so was John. Actually SIMPLE John was his name. He to had his own dreams about fame and fortune... he was a nice fellow, and as they started their adventure he got acquainted with his new friends. The first one was an ordinary looking person who could be the nicest fellow in the world only he kept speaking in sentences that were so logical, that John lost him in the middle of the conversation... they all called him the Modron. Why? John had no idea. He thought that his new friend was quite cute in his uncontrollable tics, he even laughed when the Modron told every one a joke about a tree falling down after a fat man ran into it... no one laughed.

The second blood was very interesting to our dear hero. He was a slim (very slim) young man. But there was nothing ordinary about him. He answered to the name neurotic boy. For obvious reasons: he was highper active ALL the time, never sitting down and always doing SOMETHING. He always had food with him, a tasty Jahnoon and Tonnic, and even some not so tasty kimelonim. One time John saw him with his shirt off! And after overcoming the shock he noticed some scars all over the body of this thin man. When he asked him about that, he was amazed to see him calming down for a second... neuro-boy told him that his girlfriend back home inflicted most of them for lack of satisfaction, and the main reason he is on this trip is to acquire money in order to get her what she needs the most: tobacco.

The rest of the scars were self-inflicted by fire to rid himself from the germs that were in the shelter they just left.

The third person was a stumpy man, with a huge puffed and curly hair, and a crazed look. He was happy to talk to John, only it was difficult. Due to his uncontrollable laud voice. John was amazed by the fact that none of the others had any problem with the situation, but then the modron gave him two small white things to put in his ears. EAR PLUGS! OF COURSE! Even like that curly was very laud but it was bearable.

John enjoyed his stories about playing basketball and how he was once upon a time a VERY fat man who managed to lose his weight. Although comparing to the rest of the bunch he wasn’t exactly thin...

The fourth person was a very tall and scrawny man. He to had long curly hair but they all called him fagster. Why? John had no idea. He had a tendency to giggle a lot! And his other hobby was to get into a stage of non-stop whining, that could last for days! He was dressed always on black, and had an inscription on his back that said: I AM GOTH!

The last person was the weirdest one. John just couldn’t understand what the hell he was doing with the rest of them. He looked like the ordinary fellow, he talked to every one and even enjoyed a nice conversation with John. Only it seemed like nothing mattered to him. While they encountered situations that made the rest of the gang to havoc! He stayed in his own passive state. It seemed that he had no motive of which he wanted to capture the beast or going to this fearsome adventure... or did he?

The lofty party (and John) walked silently inside the cave. When suddenly curly whispered: LOOK OVER THERE, THERE IS AN OPENING! And indeed, right in front of them they could see deem light coming threw a small opening in the cave.

And as they got closer to it they noticed that it was actually a portal! And the other odd thing was the small figure that stood in front of it...

It was a Dwarf! The biggest one they have ever seen! He held in his hand something that looked like a giant version of a battle-axe and just gazed at them as they approached him.

The nice dwarf introduced himself as Brune war-helm the fifth (or is it the 3rd?). And claimed to be the kipper of the gate (well... portal). He was self-assigned for the task and proud of it! He said that he is going to ask them a question and every one who will answer it correctly will pass. But if not... well, his axe got bored lately...

The first one to approach was the neurotica boy, jumping around as usual doing obscure things. The dwarf got so confused from all this humping (a... jumping) that he simply forgot what he wanted to ask and let him go through.

The second person was the modron, who was asked to give the recipe for a nice steak a la flambé. (Brune was hungry). And after an hour and forty minutes of going through ALL the possible scenarios and the basic materials of which the food was made of... Brune woke up and the modron went through the portal.

The 3^rd person who stepped ahead was Curly, Who was very happy to answer any question and show every one how smart he really is! He prepared himself by rubbing his hair really fast, hens creating electricity that was glowing around his head giving him access to all the communication networks around the world.

The big dwarf surprised every one, and drew from one of his pockets a SHLIF! And with a victorious look he was reading a very difficult question (that he couldn’t even understand) and waited for Curly to answer it. And he did. Thanks to the acoustic of the cave, his voice sounded louder than ever. All the gang fell to their knees in pain and remained stun for a few seconds, which was enough time for Curly to grab John and the light weighted Fagster and jump into the portal.

The dwarf looked at the only person left behind. So, it appears you are the only one left. I will make it easy for you. Why are YOU here?

I am with them.

Brune was so amazed by the odd answer that he didn’t know what else to do but to let him pass. And he did.

The place was in complete silence. The party stood in a huge hall that was lit be hundreds of torches that were placed on the walls. That was it, they knew, the lair of the beast! Fagster volunteered to search the place. The group stayed together as he was walking away. Suddenly they heard a strange sound. The sound came from the direction of their friend. It was the sound of something popping IN to existence. It sounded like a weak tsoom tsoom tsoom with a small farting sound at the end. Immediately later they heard the fagster screams in pain: AAAA NO NOT AGAIN!

They all run towards the noise, but it was to late. They found their friend lying in a strange position on the floor. It seemed like someone had bend him!

Above him stood smiling the reason for their arrival. The beast! The powerful person, which no one had ever lived to tell the tale about. Yes it was BENDER. WORLD (or Eyal) BENDER! He just smiled to himself it works every time.

Neuro-boy moved like the flash trying to catch him by surprise (in a surprise maneuver) but to his amazement the bender had another card up his ass. A huge tapeworm burst like a lava from the benders ass and swallowed the poor flash completely. Releasing a large farting sound. As a response Curly started to work his way to the global net. But suddenly something had stopped him. It was the circle of power (of bending) surrounding the Bender.

What are you doing? Why are you interfering with my stuff?

The Bender pulled out a big book that was labeled as a law book for the global network.

Well, well, well Curly. Bending the rules are we? It specifically said in this rulebook that you mustn’t use your hair in order to be connected to the net!

Mind your own business you idiot!

Why? So every one will accuse me of being the only bender around? Do you think that it is an easy task?

O shut up!

No you shut up!

They both got so enraged that they jumped at each other with a killing rage. Bending met Lifa and there was a huge explosion. Nothing was left of both of them. (Well, if someone would have looked he could see the tapeworm lurking in the darkness).

It was all over. The three remaining friends talked about what to do next. John said that he heard of a wonderful place where a nice Sphinx is giving away his feathers for free. Hadish (so that was his name) agreed on going. And as they left, the Modron (who stayed behind to talk with the tapeworm) thought that it could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship. Between the one who couldn’t care less about any thing and the one who couldn’t know better...