He gazed into the shimmer of what he liked to call his "Pain Reliever". Contemplating whether or not to use it to its full extent or to use it just as a temporary relief. The sparkle of the newly sharpened razor blade glistened in Jeremy's crystal blue eyes. Giving him the sense of control, the power between life and death. This feeling was his favorite emotion from which his busy life protrayed. Making him feel as if he could control some of the pain his life feed to him. He hated the feeling that his life was spinning out of control and he was unable to do anything about it. A high-strung beat pulsated from the speakers of his walkman. Rapidly chanting to him, bringing out the evil that seem to be trapped inside of him. As he lay on his bed he couldnt help but remember all of the events that had happened earlier that day. Remembering how the preppie's and the upper classmen of the school always pesstered him for the way he dressed, how the girls alway gawked and laughed when ever he passed by and the nagging voices of him parents every time he did something wrong or if he wasn't just like his older brother Ryan. His parents had gone out and his brother was out with his friends , so he knew it was safe. Being as paraniod as Jeremy always was, he got up and locked the door to his room. He then walked over to his desk, sat down and pulled out the apology letter he had pain steakingly slaved over for the past week. Rolling it up he put it into the pocket of his favorite Marlin Manson shirt. Jeremy turned off him walkmen, took the CD out and put it into im normal CD player. Turning it up almost as loud as it would go. Pulling out his "Pain Reliever" from the pocket of his faded black jeans, still contempllating about what he was before. He pulled up his sleeve, reveling the painful scars of past problems from which he had used his "Pain Reliever" to solve. Listening to the lyrics as they called to him telling him that death was the only way out, the only way to a happy life. Begining to believe this, he brought the razor to his blushish fleshy skin. Shaking with terror he took a deep breath and pushed hard into his vein. He laid there in shock as his vision began to fade from the bright light of the ceiling fan to the black nothing of death.
"Im tired of Life..... as Life is tired of me.... if it wasnt... then it wouldnt fork out soo much shit to worsen my Twisted Fairytale...." - Me
I'm Empty... Not Empty like I haven't Eaten Empty.... Not like I have no education Empty.... Not like the hearts of Killers Empty.... But just plain old Empty.... Empty because of the fact that I'm tired of being thrown around from house to house... Empty because my soul is scared, and is unhealable... Empty of all emotions, with no tears left to cry....and no joy left to share.... -Me
Somewhere above the coulds my life is slipping by, Among the stars and down toward the moon lite tree tops, My soul floats across the sky, Glisening down from the heavens like a broken mirror, Without a single emotion...No Worries, No Fear, In hope of returning to me before the night is done, As the clouds are awaken by the touch of the sun, A new day has begun..... -Me..
