RaNTS aND RaVEs
Egads! welcome to the ever changing rants and raves page giving you the new, local and global, outlooks on life and just ideas and thoughts from myself and submitted by people like you. Well maybe not you.... For one thing why do people get so offended these days? I could care less what someone said about me and if people are really secure about themselves they'd lighten up and know how to take criticism whether jokingly or offensive. I never owned a slave or was one, or wandered for 40 years in the desert after being chased out of Egypt, I haven't burned any witches or been persecuted by the Turks and neither have you so shut the f@#$ up! now go rant and rave and be yourself!
GAWDAMWIT! Im in a pissy mood. I was just thinking..where the hell are all of our flying cars and meals in a pill? 30 years ago people would speak of 2001 and on, as being a new and exciting time of mystery and adventure. Instead i still see kids riding around the middle of a forest town in a volkswagen gremlin riding down a road thats been under construction for damn near ten years now. And where can i get a damn laser gun? Im tired of waiting. We're supposed to be defending the universe by now against evil aliens and deathstars and what have you, but what do i get instead? A GAWDAMN volkswagen gremlin on crapandahalf drive to go get a burger and frys at wendys. Whatever happened to eating a meal in the form of a pill? Now that would be nice, you wouldn't have to take your girlfriend out to eat at the finest restraunt in town and have her order a frikin' eighteen dollar salad where she could have got anywhere else. You could just toss her a pill. And they would be economical as well as fast. Because lets face it, your not really interested in the meal are you? ARE YOU?! NO YOU DON"T HAVE YOUR MIND ON EATING DO YOU? YEAH i see you grinning, don't think I don't know how these things work, this is the 21st century!! We may not have "laser beams" and "flying cars" but we still have the backseat of our volkswagen gremlin!
Paul... The Brand Ball Spanking New Sport of the 21st Century
This game is called amkbfhoozumpauliiijgn but is pronouced paul, yes all the other letters are silent as this game originated in the island Pusiewithouthair. It is an exciting and fascinating game of billiards except there is no pool stick, you make wacking motions at the balls with your hands. And you try to get all the balls in the opponents sacks. Whoever has the least amount of balls in there sack wins! Would you think the person with the biggest sack wins? OF COURSE NOT!! The bigger the sack, the more balls they have and thats no way to win the fascinating game of amkbfhoozumpauliiijgn. And there are rules 2 the game. Theres a ref in the middle of the amkbfhoozumpauliiijgn table watching as the players wack there balls into the other peoples sacks. You have to wear 220 pounds of shoulder pads and protection that way if a ball hits your fingers or something worse you wont get hurt, just to be on the safe side. The rules and regulations of the game call for the referee only to wear specially sanctionced black and white boxer briefs to allow for faster reflexes and motions to better call the game and to easily identify him. He also needs to stand on top of the table to see everything. If you referee a game and you are female, same rule applies you only wear boxers as tops cause distractions. Now by following these simple rules of the game you can enjoy the hardcore smashmouth trashtalking in your face ball wacking fun for the whole family good times of amkbfhoozumpauliiijg.