This Month's Topic:
Okay, first of all, let's get something straight. I know I am extremely late on this rant, but I've never had a rant before! But I started realizing I needed something to release my aggression, so here we now have a rant of the month. I wanted the first one to be something controversial in the world of gamers, of which I happen to be a part of, so I picked a doozie; FFVIII! Let's get started.
I personally hate FFVIII. I think it is a testament to what happens when game developers forget that 1) A game cannot solely depend on graphics 2) All characters must have solid plotlines for a good overall storyline and 3) Characters need to be lovable. I'll start with point 1.
Granted, the graphics in FFVIII were very good, and sometimes graphics do make the game. I mean, a well-placed cinema in a game (take FFIX for example, which I think is a very fun and innovative addition to the Final Fantasy collection) can really make the moment. Even as far back as FFIII/VIj, there was that one scene before you jump off the waterfall, and Square took this opportunity to really flex their graphic muscles. Admit it; for the SNES that scene was not too bad! Even FFII/IVj which is one of my favorites had that really lame attempt at the Big Whale flying off to the Moon. But in FFVIII, the case in point is, there was a whole lot of graphics, and a whole lot of.. well.. nothing else! Plus, I think it took a lot of the charm away to make them so realistic. Part of the joy of Final Fantasy was that the characters looked cartoony, and it actually felt like a fantasy. Now, not only do we have a cast of characters that could be mimed physically by the jocks and cheerleaders at my school, but they also don't have a fantasy-like element about them! There's space stations, and space travel, and all that crap to go with it, just to make it more believable. Well, guess what? It's not supposed to be believable! It's Final Fantasy!
Point two, the characters' storylines. I guess this is a double-edged sword, because on one hand, I think Square centered around Squall and Rinoa (who, trust me, I both despise) and then we learned nothing about the rest of the cast. On the other hand - I didn't really WANT to learn about them, anyway! Bunch of annoying you-know-whats... but anyway, that's point 3, and we're only on point 2. We all know they were in the same orphanage when they were younger, we know Zell got picked on by everyone, Quistis was always that bland, and Selphie was always an annoying closet speed addict. ...and? How does this matter to anything? How did they get where they were? Is there anything deep about them? Well?! I always hear people saying "Oh but I just loved Squall and Rinoa!" Well then, in my honest opinion, I think FFVIII was probably your first RPG (as was case for lots of people) and you need to play more of this vein of video games before you judge Squall and Rinoa as anything close to good main characters. You have Squall, the apathetic loser who is constantly thinking to himself about what a weenie he is but what a big tough guy he showcases to the world. Then you have Rinoa, who is shallower than the kiddie pool at Munchkin Land, to borrow the phrase. All she cares about is snagging in Squall. Gimme a break! I'd rather watch Cecil and Rosa's little 2d pixelated icons make out then see that kind of a romance. And, just for the record, I think even the 2d pixelated romance of Cecil and Rosa was more bearable to watch than Squall and Rinoa's beautifully animated tale of love and promises. BLEAH!
My final point, the lack of love for characters. I've already said how much I hate Squall and Rinoa, but it doesn't stop there! Let's review, shall we? We have Zell, who can be affable at times, but other times, he's just a big bleachy-head face-tattooed loser who you wish would choke on a hot dog. Then you have Irvine, who I will tell you beforehand, I used to think was cute. Yes, folks, I used to like Irvine! Then I looked at the big picture. He's Edgar with a rifle. Actually I take that back. Edgar wouldn't have wimped out when everyone needed him! Not to mention Edgar actually had good taste in women. Irvine had a thing for this hideous hat-haired piece of crap named Selphie. And speaking of Selphie.. AGH! Was there ever a more annoying character?! Now, Square may have pushed it with Yuffie, but Yuffie had her moments. Selphie is a nunchuck-wielding bubble-headed moron, who I believe does crack with her roommates in secret at her SeeD Balamb Garden room. Now you have Seifer, who I guess wasn't a bad character, if you ignore the fact he was a pompous dumbass. Laguna... well, Laguna wasn't so bad. I actually kind of liked Laguna. The rest I won't get into. I think you see where my opinion lies.
So that's it, that's where I think FFVIII went wrong. Now you know why I, personally, will never pick up a copy of it. You may disagree with me, and you know, that's just fine. In fact, go ahead and mail me your opinion, if you really must. I don't mind flames! But keep in mind I will flame you right back. I have a right to my opinions, as do you.
Until next time, take care of yourself... and each other. And never... eeeeever... play FFVIII!
FFVIII (Final Fantasy 8)
