THE MISERY SENSHI NEO-ZERO DOUBLE BLITZKRIEG DEBACLE A Daira/Sailor Moon Crossover Fan Fiction Story By Peter W. Guerin (Mr. Guerin can be contacted at DocForbin@Hotmail.com) With apologies to Naoko Takeuchi and Glenn Eichler. AUTHOR'S DISCLAIMER None of this ever happened. However, for those of you keeping score at home, the events roughly (and I mean roughly) follow the events depicted in "Bishojo Senshi Sailor Moon Sailor Stars", which was the fifth and final season of the original Japanese series. Further, the original Japanese civilian identities of the Sailor Senshi are used, in Oriental order (i.e. family name first) as well as all other Japanese characters depicted in this story. Almost all aircraft depicted in this story have been checked with the publication "Aircraft of the World: The Complete Guide" (Pittsburgh: International Masters Publishers, 1996-present; series of factsheets published every three weeks). The sole exception is the Mitsubishi Neo-Zero, which is a complete creation of the author. All "Bishojo Senshi Sailor Moon" and related characters are (C) 1992,1998 Naoko Takeuchi/Kodansha/Toei Animation Co., Ltd./DIC Enterprises LP. All "Daria" and related characters are (C) 1993, 1997, 1998 MTV Networks. All Rights Reserved. All other characters depicted are my creation. So there. SONG CREDITS "Morning Has Broken": Traditional lyrics by Elinor Ferjoen. Musical arrangement by Cat Stevens. (C) 1972 Cat Stevens. Appearing on his album "Teaser and the Firecat"on A&M CD's and cassettes. "Ty Cobb": lyrics by Chris Cornell; music by Ben Shepherd. (C) 1996 You Make Me Sick I Make Music (ASCAP)/Stupidditties (ASCAP). All Rights Reserved. Appearing on the Soundgarden album "Down on the Upside" on A&M CD's and cassettes. "Black Hole Sun": lyrics and music by Chris Cornell. (C) 1994 You Make Me Sick I Make Music (ASCAP). All Rights Reserved. Appearing on the Soundgarden album "Superunknown" on A&M CD's and cassettes.. "Monk Time" , "I Hate You" and "Complication": written by Gary Burger, Larry Clark, Dave Day, Roger Johnston and Eddie Shaw. (C) 1965 Monk Time Publishing (BMI); administered by Bug Music. All Rights Reserved. Appearing on the Monks album "Black Monk Time" on Infinite Zero Archive CD's. Distributed by American Recordings. "Kimigayo": Words selected from the seventh volume of "Kokinshu" dating from AD 9th Century; English translation by Sakuzo Takada; Music by Hiromori Hayashi. "Tusk": Lyrics and music by Lindsey Buckingham. (C) 1979 New Sounds Music (ASCAP). All Rights Reserved. Appearing on the Fleetwood Mac album "Tusk" on Warner Bros. CD's and cassettes. AUTHOR'S DEDICATION This story is dedicated to my mother's favorite author, Tom Clancy.This story may be a bit evocative of his style, so please bear with me. ----------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------------------- "Sky Pilot!/Sky Pilot!/How high can you fly?/You'll never, never, never reach the sky!" --Eric Burden, The Animals, "Sky Pilot" "War!/Good God, you all!/What's it any good for?/Absolutely nothing!/Say it again!" --Edwin Starr, Edwin Starr's Rising Starr, "War" "Though force can protect in an emergency, only justice, fairness, consideration and cooperation can finally lead men to the dawn of eternal peace." --Dwight David Eisenhower, General, U. S. Army, later President of the United States ----------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------------------- Data 1: Ebon Genesis Sweet Adeline A huge crowd had gathered in the mass meeting room of Sumito Heavy Industries for what was expected to be a brief pep rally before the start of the day's business. All were clad in the same blue suits typical of Japanese businessmen in Shinjuku, the business district of Tokyo. At one end was a platform were the top executives of the company were seated as well as a podium for speaking. However, it was the banner affixed to the wall that was unusual: a brown octopus on a white disc on a red field. At once, everyone's attention was focused on the podium as one of the persons on the platform rose to speak. However, this was not one of the executives; she was an "OL", or office lady. But no other "OL" like her existed in Japan. Yoriko was tall and statuesque, and was well-proportioned with ample bust, slender hips, long legs and short, black hair. Banging the gavel, she called the meeting to order. "I know that we have much work to do, so I will keep this brief," said Amazana Yoriko. "I have glorious news that will gladden the hearts of everyone in our organization. We think the Neo-Zero prototype will be ready for its first test flight by month's end. Ryu, our intelligence officer, will explain." The podium was yielded to Chang Ryu, a man of unusually handsome qualities due to his mixed Chinese-Korean-Japanese ancestry. He was about six and a half feet tall with brown hair. Ryu was a master of many martial arts disciplines, holding black belts in judo, tae kwan do, kung fu, karate, and kendo, or Japanese fencing. Only a few months ago he resigned as a priest of the legendary Shaolin Temple to be involved in what Sumito termed "Project Iron Fist." Ryu started to speak in his clear, enthusiastic voice: "I've been checking the progress of the prototype, and most ground tests have been completed. It is expected that the prototype will be fitted with a full compliment of Sidewinder missiles for target practice; once they are loaded, we will launch our plan to hijack the prototype and start our attack on Tokyo. Once we have the civilian government in submission, the New Imperial Rule Assistance Association will embark on a new era for Japan, and once again we will earn the respect of the world. All hail to our leader, Amazana Yoriko. BANZAI!" After five shouts of "BANZAI!", the meeting adjourned. Yoriko went back to her office, where Dr. Helmut Vander Helffen was awaiting her; he looked middle-aged with black hair and spectacles; he was wearing a brown double-breasted suit. "It's time for your next pill," was all he said. ----------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------------------- Tsukino Ikuko was doing what she usually did every morning: trying to get her oldest daughter Usagi out of bed: "Usagi, you lazy bastard! Get out of bed now!" Luna, Usagi's pet cat, was jolted out of her sleep by Ikuko's yelling. She hissed and scratched Usagi's nose. "OW!", shrieked Usagi. "Usagi! It's time to get up for school!," began Luna. "You are so lazy it's pathetic!" "I already have Mom on my case, Luna," shrieked Usagi; "I don't need to hear it from you as well!" With a deft movement, Usagi took off her pajamas and raced to her closet--wearing nothing but her panties--to grab a bra. She began to pack up her briefcase. "You know, I think that peeping Tom from across the street is looking at you again!", chuckled Luna. Usagi shrieked and drew down the curtains. "Luna, you really get on my nerves at times," yelled Usagi at Luna. Luna replied, "Hey, I deserve a good laugh once in a while!" ----------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------------------- Kenji, Ikuko's husband, and their son, Shingo, were already at the breakfast table. Kenji was reading the "Yorimuri Shimbun" when he noticed an interesting article. "Hey, what about those Giants!," he exclaimed; "one more win and they clinch the Japan Series!" "Wonderful, dear," was all his wife said rather abstractly. "Man, Usagi's gonna get it big time from Ms. Sakurada if she's late again," Shingo proclaimed. As if to confirm that remark, Usagi ran downstairs, clad in her seifuku, gulped down a glass of milk, wolfed down a piece of toast, and dashed out the door like the devil before anyone noticed. She was several steps down the road when a car horn blared, and a familiar red car pulled up besides her. "Usagi! Get in! It's the only way you'll make it on time for your first class!," a voice shouted to her. Usagi knew that voice rather well. It was her boyfriend, Chiba Mamoru. As Usagi got in, she noticed two other persons in the car: her friend Mizuno Ami, the smartest student in class, and Chiba-Usa, Usagi and Mamoru's daughter from the future. Chiba- Usa had spent the night at Ami's house. "Running late again, I see," Chiba-Usa said in her holier-than- thou attitude. "Put a sock in it, Chiba-Usa!", replied Usagi. "Usagi, you should really get up earlier," Ami started. "It's part of doing well in school." "Ami's got a point there, Usako," Mamoru added. "Your grades aren't that great. With the big exams coming up, you've got to do better." Usagi groaned. "Speaking of tests," Ami said, "I figure you'd be the first ones to learn about some exciting news I got yesterday." "What?," Usagi asked. "I found out that I've been accepted for my pre-med studies in Germany," gushed Ami; "At long last, I can begin my studies to become a pediatrician like my mother! I leave in four days." Usagi was at first speechless. "Congratulations!," Mamoru said. "I know that you've been looking forward to this for a long time." "But what about the Sailor Senshi?," Usagi said as she recovered from the shock of the announcement. "You're the brains of the team!" "Not to worry, Usagi," Ami began. "I've got that covered. Luna and Artemis have been working on transferring my powers to another person. The Sailor Senshi will still be at full strength while I'm gone." "Who do you have in mind?," Chibi-Usa asked. "Let's just say that she's as intelligent as I am," Ami teased. ----------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------------------- The calls to prayer wafted in the air in Beirut. In a nondescript building, however, there was something sinister afoot. The local branch of Islamic Jihad was meeting to formulate their next terrorist attack. The Imam Al-Kabaz, the leader of the branch, was clad in a black robe and had a long black beard. He arose to speak. "It is time to strike fear into the heart of the Great Satan!" he began; "In four days will be the great football game between Highland and Lawndale High Schools. We will seize control of the JAL flight from Tokyo to Berlin, divert it to Lawndale and blow up a nuclear device as the plane flies over the football field." The Imam turned to Akbar el-Salaam, a grungy Palestinian in combat fatigues, and said, "Brother Akbar, it is Allah's will that you carry out this mission. You will leave on the next flight to Tokyo in about an hour. ALLAH AKBAR!" The cries of "ALLAH AKBAR!" were repeated twenty times running. ----------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------------------- He can still remember it all like it was just yesterday. It was one of those memories you can't really shake off.He was on patrol in the Sea of Japan, off the coast of Sakhalin Island. He was squadron leader for a flight of five F-4EJ Phantom II jet fighters for the Japan Air Self Defense Force. The Phantom jets were showing their age but were still a reliable part of the force. So far, it had been a pretty routine patrol. Suddenly, one of the pilots radioed him: "Maverick to Dragon, I've picked up something on the radar. It looks like a Soviet Su-17." Dragon was the squadron leader's code name. "Roger, Maverick," responded the squadron leader; "let's take a look. As long as they're on their side of the border, we shouldn't expect any hostilities." "Roger, Dragon.", replied the first pilot. The squadron approached the location of the Su-17. However, it turned out that this was no ordinary patrol. A Korean Airlines 747 had somehow entered Soviet airspace. An international incident was in the making. "Dragon to Ginzu, find out what the Hell's going on here!," said the squadron leader to another pilot. The second pilot replied, "Ginzu to Dragon, I've got them fixed on radar. I do know some Russian. The MiG's issuing a warning to the KAL craft to clear out of Soviet space. He's threatening to fire." Was it time to take action? Every member of the SDF had been instructed from day one that Article 9 of the Constitution clearly stated that Japan was not to wage war. But now everyone in the squad faced a dilemma: Do nothing and see hundreds perish, or attack and risk international condemnation if they were wrong? "Ginzu," the squadron leader ordered, "inform the MiG pilot that if he fires weapons, our government will file a protest with the United Nations." Tense moments passed. "Dragon, he's ignoring me," was the second pilot's reply. The next thing everyone saw was that the Su-17 fired an air-to- air missile, blowing the KAL plane out of existence! "This is Dragon to all units! Return to base!," sharply ordered the squadron leader. "We don't want to risk a dogfight with the Su-17!" Clearly as much as everyone wanted to avenge what they had just seen, Article 9 was to be honored at all times. When they had landed back at the base, news had already reached everyone about what happened. An airman approached the squad leader and handed him a list. "Lieutenant Torymura, you may want to see this; it's the list of passengers," the airman said to him. He took a quick look, and his stomach turned when he noticed two names on the list. "Poor Makoto," was all he said. A subsequent investigation cleared Lt. Torymura and his squadron of negligence. Now a general, Torymura Keiichi was in charge of the Neo-Zero project. He sat there at his desk, in his dress green uniform, his hair grayed with the cares of a long military career and time-carved wrinkles over his skin. But he's still haunted by the awful memories of what happened fifteen years ago. If only he-- A knock on the door interrupted his train of thought. Someone entered his office. It was Ryu, now wearing a vermilion martial artist's outfit. "General, this is Special Agent Chang," he said. "I know when the NIRAA will attempt to steal the prototype." ----------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------------------- By Japanese standards, this was a rather brash way to start a campaign in a by-election. Streamers were all over the banquet hall, as well as posters, all with the same slogan: "Nagai Kenji: For a New and Better Japan." Nagai was already governor of Tokyo Metropolitan Prefecture; he had stunned everyone at the last gubernatorial election by winning the post running as a member of the Komeito, or Clean Government Party, which had the backing of the Soka Gakki sect of Buddhism. Now, he was in the most ambitious campaign of his life: he was seeking the vacant seat for Tokyo-to in the House of Representatives, the lower house of the Japanese Diet. His youthful looks belied his 45 years, and was wearing a gray flannel suit. Nagai stepped up to the podium and spoke: "Ladies and gentlemen: I hereby announce my candidacy for the Komeito nomination for the empty seat in the House of Representatives for Tokyo-to. Our nation faces grave problems as we near the new millennium. Business as usual in our government- -fostered by a Liberal Democratic government that has been in control for over forty years--has led us to this crisis. We have been the envy of East Asia--indeed in what is still called the Third World--for turning so rapidly from an isolated, backwards nation to one of the most modern, most technologically advanced societies ever seen in human history. It would be a shame that we, as a beacon of hope to those less developed, be extinguished ourselves. We need new voices; we need fresh blood; we need to admit our mistakes of the past; we must lend a hand to those nations less fortunate than ourselves. Reforms must be made in our economy so that everyone that benefits can still do and even include the small minority that do not. We must be more open and honest in trade with our international neighbors. We must turn Japan around before it's too late, and I am the man to do it!" The crowd roared its approval. ----------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------------------- Lawndale was just one of your typical suburban American communities. At one rather well-appointed house lived the Morgendorffers. It was just after dinner and eldest daughter Daria had just went to her room; it was pretty unusual because its walls were mostly padded, a holdover from the previous owners, who kept their crazy aunt in there. Posters of a bleached skeleton in the desert and of exetensionalist author Franz Kafka adorned the walls. Daria had just logged on the Internet. Jane Lane, Daria's best friend, was sitting on Daria's bed. "You've got mail!," chirped the computer. "And you've got a stick up your ass!," quipped Daria in reply. Jane snickered and then spat out, "That was a good one, Daria! You go, girl!" Daria looked at her e-mail messages. Some of it was spam for hair tonic, get-rich-quick schemes, and pornography. There even was one sick individual who wanted a downloadable picture of Daria in her underwear. "That pervert!," Daria stated, " Who does he think I am, Linda Lovelace?" Jane shot back, "He probably confused you for some porno star." "Look at this one, Jane," said Daria in amazement. "Who's it from?," Jane inquired. Daria responded, "It's from my friend in Japan, Ami." "What does it say?," Jane wanted to know. Daria began to read it: "It says: 'Come here quickly. This is important. I can't tell you here. I'll explain everything when you arrive.'" "Better be careful, Daria," cautioned Jane, "Sometimes these Internet-initiated face-to-face meetings get kinky." Daria replied, "Jane, Ami is not some pervert. We're both smart; we're both unappreciated with our classmates, and we both have to put up with geeks." "You mean Japan has its own version of Upchuck?," said Jane in amazement. "Yep. His name is Gurio," Daria said; "The sick part is he's got a rather pretty, good-natured girlfriend named Naru." "Better call 'Sick Sad World' and tell them you've got a scoop for them!," snickered Jane. "Well, we'd better tell Mom and Dad about this," stated Daria. ----------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------------------- The entire Morgendorffer family was gathered in the living room. Jake and Helen, Daria's parents, were on the couch while Daria, Jane and Quinn, Daria's sister, were on another couch next to the adjacent wall. Quinn was wearing that stupid smiley face T-shirt and her red miniskirt she once wore to seduce Kevin Thompson, the star quarterback for Lawndale High. "Quinn, if that skirt had a slit in it, people would compare you Ashley Judd," Daria said. "Daria! Give me a break!," Quinn replied. "Anyway, your friend Ami wants you to go see her in Tokyo right away, Daria?", Helen asked. "Yes, she did, Mom," was Daria's response. "This is rather unusual, Daria," said Helen in concern; "You'll miss the big game against Highland." "Oh, whoopee!," shot back Daria; "I'll just miss my old nemeses Beavis and Butt-Head. I hated it when those two called me 'Diarrhea, cha-cha-cha!'". "Oh, Daria, boys will be boys!," Jake answered. "Heck, I probably didn't do any worse than they did when I was their age." "Jake, how dare you defend those two!," Helen roared. "Those two are so perverted they make Larry Flint look like Mahatma Gandhi!" "But, Honey--," began Jake Helen silenced him by roaring, "SHUT UP, JAKE!" "Yes, Dear!," was Jake's meekish reply. "Well, I guess if it's OK with the school," Helen said, "it's OK with me. I always thought going to foreign countries helps to broaden one's horizons." "I think there's an opening in our foreign exchange program, Mom. I'll ask," Daria replied. "Oh, Honey, you're going to like this!," Helen said. "Then again, I could live to regret it," warned Daria. "What will happen if Beavis and Butt-Head notice that you're not at the game? They'll pick on me! What will I do?," Quinn shrieked. "Keep your legs crossed," Daria sneered. Jane snickered sinisterly over that remark. ----------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------------------- At an underground bunker right beneath the Lawndale Gun Club, the Lawndale Militia was meeting. Anthony Corlew, the commander, rose to speak. "Gee, Commander, what are we going to do tonight?", asked a member named Poindexter. "The same thing we do every night, Poindexter: Try to take over Lawndale!," said Anthony. With that out of the way, he continued: "'Operation In Your Face' is proceeding as scheduled. As everyone knows, the whole town will turn out for the big game against Highland. During that time, we will launch a blitzkrieg attack and take over city hall, the police station and the courthouse. We will strike at half-time. We've got all our firepower ready. In four days, Lawndale will be ours!" Roars of approval echoed throughout the bunker. ----------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------------------- Nakajimi Tetsuo was going down a street in Shinjuku. He was about five and a half feet tall with raven black hair and wore a dark blue suit. He had a good job as a stockbroker, but visions of a terrible past still haunted him: "We are the Mecha-Dominion! We will absorb your world into our realm! Rebellion against us is useless!" Then the screams of slaughter. But now a new, more terrible vision filled his mind. A jet fighter coming out of nowhere. Missiles firing at landmark buildings. Fire everywhere. Bodies scattered in every direction. Tetsuo stopped. "Tokyo is in danger!," he exclaimed. ----------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------