Rules for "The Emperish"

The Emperish is a dialect created by The Emperor (mybadluck22)

The idea behind The Emperish (which will be referred to as TE for the rest of this document) is that it is supposed to be easy to speak and learn. It is a modification to standard American English grammar. One of the main points is that every rule is optional. One may use rules inconsistently, to an extent. For example, one may say "goed" in one sentence and "went" in another. Either one is acceptable, as opposed to English, which only accepts "went." Following is a list of rules with examples of usage. Remember that all rules are optional. New rules may be added, but they must be made public (no secret rules!) and stay within reasonable boundaries (and stay with the spirit of TE). For example, one may not change the spelling of all words to ojkilum. One may, however, use the phrase "I did good" because it still carries the general meaning of the sentence.

1. Irregular Words are banned
Words that have irregular forms may have their irregular forms replaced with regular forms. Examples:
standard form       irregular form      TE replacement
good                well (adv)          goodly
mouse               mice (pl)           mouses
go                  went (past)         goed
awesome             most awesome (most) awesomest
awesome             more awesome (more) awesomer
man                 men (pl)            mans
child               children (pl)       childs
lose                lost (past)         losed
do                  did (past)          doed
shoot               shot (past)         shooted


This rule is one where one might especially want to use the irregular form. For the word "shoot," shot is shorter and easier to say than "shooted," although some may like the sound of shooted better, and some may find it easier.

2. Capitalization is diminished.
as long as one uses proper punctuation, one can still get the meaning of a sentence rather easily without capitalization. proper nouns needn't be capitalized as the meaning is generally easy to gather from the context.

i went to jim's house and then i goed to canada for some french food.

it's easy to understand this sentence because people know that jim is a name, canada is a country, and french is a nationality. for acronyms, it is a good idea to use capitals to make the meaning more clear. for example, AIM (AOL Instant Messanger) shares spelling with the word aim. Basically, the idea is that if it makes it easier to read then it should be capitalized, but if it does not help, then it is not important. 

3. Adjectives may be used to describe verbs.
A common mistake in the English language is to say "I can ___ pretty good." Often, people jump all over that and tell the person what a moron he is for using an adjective to describe a verb. Now this is acceptable. Of course, "I can ___ well" is also acceptable, but so is everything. This rule may sound awkward at first, but it does not sound too bad when used correctly.

Examples:
it does not sound too bad when used correct
i play chess good

4. The letter C is kompletely optional (exept in CH).
Everything that the letter C does is done by another letter perfektly well, and sometimes even better. Take, for example the word Celtic. Many believe that this is pronounsed "sell tik," when in fakt, it is pronounsed "kel tik." This konfusion would never have happened if we stopped using the letter C. Often, people use a K instead of a C to make words look kool. Also, the letter C is kommonly used with a k anyway, which produses the same sound as a k by itself. Also, when replacing a C with an S when used in CE (as in "service") if the CE is at the end of the word, the E must be removed (as in "servis"). Otherwise, the word would be pronounsed differently (as in "ser v-eyes") which defeats the purpose of making the change in the first place. A C may be dropped without replasement following an x and preceding an E. ("excede"->"exede" but "excrement"->"exkrement"). The exeption to this rule is the CH sound which kan not be made any other way. Maybe a C will from now on mean CH to remove the extra letter. We will have to wait to find out!

Examples:
Original        TE
Jack            Jak
Certainly       Sertainly
Crevice         Krevis
Excrement       Exkrement
Excellent       Exelent
Change          Cange?

5. Double Ls Go To Hell.
Parallel. Paralel. They sound the same to me. Why the extra L? Since it is unnecessary to pronunciation, it should be gone. Other double letters mean something. Well, sometimes they mean something. "Off" and "of" are very different, but "poppy" and "popy" aren't. It seems like double Fs should be mandatory since they effect pronunciation, but Ls, Ms, and Ns do not. Usualy. Maybe it is that voiced consonants like Ls do not change pronunciation, but unvoiced ones like Fs do. For now it should be left at Ls unless someone proves otherwise to me.

Examples:
Original        TE
Parallel        Paralel
Well            Wel
Fell            Fel
Tell            Tel